Not on duty today. Lord knows that the news is so depressing recently. Wanted to message my friends but feel like I might sound pessimistic, because Lord knows my job is depressing enough, not to mention I'm trying hard not to fall into turmoil. By the way, we struck the 'jackpot'. Congratulations, do not pass go, do not collect $ 200.
I don't understand some people, we are already a year in plus through the pandemic, yet I still see ignorant stuff floating around like, "I refused to get vaccinated until I can confirm it's Pfizer." Like why? You don't question babies' compulsory vaccination, you didn't question our compulsory BCG injections, so why is this any different? I hate to say it, but we humans love focusing on the negative. I attended a psychiatrist's talk years back, and when he asked us to think of negative things. Boy oh boy, there was no shortage of that. We don't even need to think twice, we can list it out in rapid fire succession, but when he asked us to think of a good thing, all of us struggled to find one. Just shows you how our mind works sometimes right?
Since November, I got shifted to a new department. Now it's June, more than 6 months, and I have never been more mentally drained in my life. Back then, I work fixed hours, and I don't have to worry much. Now I have to follow up cases after cases because...well, if you work in servicing jobs, you know that you have to act like a concierge most of the times. Humans being humans, we are selective in what we listen and read as well. It's tiring, and I can't tell you how much I feel like throwing in the towel when I have stressed several times to people to please contact the relevant departments yet they come back to us. A good example of this is it is compulsory to register in your mySejahtera for the vaccine, yet people hounded us to take their names because they refused to go under the government. I'm going to say it till I get through your thick stubborn mind: You are not allowed to choose where can you get vaccinated, and you are not allowed to choose your vaccines! The government decides when, where and what you get! Please, I beg you, get yourself vaccinated. Don't wait anymore. Cases are on the rise, and healthcare workers are already burn out. To make things worse, all hospitals are already congested and overflowing with severe cases. I'm taking advice from my doctors to stop stressing out over work, it's hard, but progress, progress, I'll get through it somehow.
Not going to lie, money is rather tight. Small business are suffering to stay afloat. Indie artists, writers are also struggling to stay afloat, but I try to support them, because I enjoy their stuff and works, and I don't want them to fall. Problem is I like indie artists on Youtube, and if you know the conversion rate between here and the US, it's a killer. The most I could do is support through views, I guess. Every little thought counts.
I miss travelling, especially to the beaches because I love collecting seashells (I still do, but due to the rise of industrial buildings, it's really hard to find natural beaches and seashells). I don't go to other countries a lot because one) I have a slight fear of getting on an airplane because of an incident where we were struck by an air turbulence, and two) There's not much places I wanted to go to be very honest. Countries that are on top of my list are Japan, United Kingdom, and United States. My friend was kind to share an app called Google Earth which allows me to see real-time images of other countries, but you know, I have always struggled with poor internet connection, so I always ended up buffering a lot. Three) I'm a picky eater. I love sushi, ramen and fish and chips. Other than that, I'm picky (But being in the Land of Food, you are pretty much spoiled for choice)
A funny random thought came to me as I was writing this. If you know me from my old blog posts till now, I became a writer purely by accident. The people who inspired had never changed. Enid Blyton was the one whose books I started reading first, and JK Rowling was the one who truly inspired me reading. I got slammed by people for reading the Harry Potter series, which they claimed were related to witchcrafts or I got labelled as a weirdo or a freak. In my young, naïve mind, I thought, "Oh, I like her books, I want to write something like that as well." I like Final Fantasy, so I used to write cheesy fanfics with Naruto (outgrew it, but I'm forever grateful) x Final Fantasy x OC mashup. Never published, because till this day, I still struggled on how to use tech stuff. When I got older, I'm glad that I outgrew the fanfic phase, because I stumbled on George R.R. Martin's post on why fanfic is not a very good idea*. I'm not condemning those who write fanfics, you do you, but give credits when it's due. I know many people don't really read my stuff but it makes me happy when someone reached out and tell me how they enjoyed my writings, whether it's at this blog or my works. I used to care what others say, but slowly, over time, I just stopped caring, because it's like what my doctors always tell me: "It's impossible to please the whole world. Life is too short, do what you love and enjoy life to the fullest." Besides, I'm not getting any younger, I got to start taking of myself more, mentally and physically.
To give you a recent example, last year I submitted a short story for a Halloween Creepypasta contest. I got 4th place, which I'm happy, but if you go to the comments, it's scathing, I remember there was one that stood out the most, it reads something like: "All the short stories sucks. Only the bonus entry (Which was well over the limit, it was an honourable mention) is great." It hurts that someone could write something like that, since it was a 150 word limit**, which we can't write much, but then I found one good one which went: "The 4th one: Graveyard Shift, is creepy." Oh God, I'm sorry for scaring you, dear reader. This, along with some stuff happening, forced me to avoid reading the comments and hence why I locked all the comments since from last year, mainly related to mental health issue.
Here's some nice songs for you to listen to during the lockdown:
LeeandLie (Indie Artist who does English Anime Covers):
Blue Bird (Naruto Shippuden OP 2): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UjMbwgPeyBI
Colors (Code Geass OP 1): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mNmF_8iR1vw
Come My Way (Inuyasha ED 7): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eRTdcnXDNXQ
Every Heart & Fukai Mori Mashup (Inuyasha ED 2 & ED 4): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K1l9zJd8ULA
Face My Fears (Kingdom Hearts III OP): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6nSVJjOp1zA
Moonlight Densetsu (Sailor Moon OP): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mp6DUeo2YdQ
Suteki Da Ne (Final Fantasy X Main Theme): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0DzpfD17cdE
Synchronicity (Tsubasa: Reservoir Chronicle OVA OP): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SsNPHT8OauA
Sadboy2005 (Indie band project by Trisha Paytas who pays tribute to the Emo bands):
2005: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kIJi7e_hScY
5150: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3uxKVMyffjw
Dead and Gone: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tgDCbMoavZA&feature=youtu.be
Don't Tell Me: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xnUSkfYnAy0
Wrong Side of Mulholland Drive: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1KLarBhalCQ
Sapphire (Indie Artist who does English Anime Covers)
Brave Shine (Fate: Unlimited Blade Works OP 2): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WKy4D1TkEgY
Butter-fly (Digimon Tri OP): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NQtqMDeXkus
I Beg You (Fate: Heaven's Feel Part II - Lost Butterfly): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ktubEfT7Itg
Last Stardust (Fate: Unlimited Blade Works Insert Song): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tjNTBG5pFhQ
Lonely in Gorgeous (Paradise Kiss OP): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GM6pGJ1swdk
Social Repose (Indie Alternative Artist):
Everyone's A Narcissist: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FriQg5Cs-D8
I Beg For The End: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=14G2tqt9sU4
I Wrote A Song Using Only Hate Comments 4: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7nPDACjqERI
I Wrote A Song Using Only Hate Comments (2021): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1NigofpmPEo
Mercy Kill: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IDDTSEwZKTQ
Stay Alive: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=joEoeVaZBS8
x0: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h_Ft0DeHnxk
*George R.R. Martin: “I’m not a fan of fanfiction.”
https://winteriscoming.net/2019/11/10/george-rr-martin-fanfiction-explanation/ (Published in Fansided, written by Selcke, Dan, 1 year ago)
George R.R. Martin: Hands off my characters
https://www.smh.com.au/entertainment/books/george-rr-martin-hands-off-my-characters-20131108-2x6fb.html (2013, 8th November. Published in The Sydney Morning Herald, written by Bochenski, Natalie)
**Writer's tip for word count limit stories: Summarize the story in one short paragraph and get your points across.
***Today's cases: 7,105 (Oh LORD)
