Nursing had long been misunderstood as a job that run after the patients. So I thought I shared some of my real life experiences up here. Please note that all names are highly confidential, and certain conversations and lines had to be edited for confidential and privacy of others.
As long as we're not going below 4,000, the lockdown will keep on going, and so will this diary. It's called Lockdown 3.0 Diaries for a reason.
Oh, roti canai. I miss you very, very much. Oh my God, the buttery flour, the crisp surface yet soft inside. The satisfaction of pulling bit by bit and chewing it happily in your mouth. Umai~~~
I knew this 2018 screenshot will come in handy one day. This is taken from Keroro Gunso Episode 2
Same song and dance, it's pretty much the same. I know people are trying to be helpful but when you call on behalf, please, I beg you to get the details on hand, because when we go in, we go in with guns blazing. Urgent cases, please call us, at the same time, please do not misuse our emergency line. It's called an EMERGENCY LINE for a reason.
So we got few enquiries regarding LASIK. Yeah, I know, most people dislike wearing glasses because it makes them look old, I mainly dislike mine is because everytime when I try to take a photo, somehow the lights seemed to catch in my glasses so that I always end up looking weird. Back when I practice karate, during tournaments you're not allowed to wear them, especially during kumite, because you'll usually get the tendency of being struck in the face - Doesn't usually happen between girls unless your opponent shows no mercy, but when your opponent is tall, chances are they'll usually aim for your face to get 3 points. NO CONTACT, AT LEAST AN INCH AWAY FROM THE FACE. Striking opponent in the face is a foul (The nostalgia, I miss the days where we used to go for sparring, that's the fun part, usually among your dojo mates, you usually won't get outright attacked. It's during those kumite that you tend to mix around with other dojos, yep, I've seen some injuries, broken ribs, blisters, broken ribs... Yep, maybe that's why I got into this line of job) - Usually I'll just ditch it for photo shoots and put it back on. I was tempted to get contact lenses at one point, but after going to the Eye Hospital for training seeing some of the....cases that involved contact lenses, one of which I tended to due to an infected contact lenses...No thanks, I'll stick to my glasses.
Like everything else, LASIK has pros and cons. I have friends who have done LASIK, and they look great, but when a LASIK goes wrong, there is a chance of going blind... Why do you think most of us doctors and nurses won't go for LASIK? Why don't our ophthalmologist friends recommend it to us? The answer, once you do LASIK, let's say down the road if you happen to get cataract, you can't go for another surgery. That's the risk that you're going to have to weigh. Is it worth it in the long run? I use the computers and phones a lot, or nursing and writing, hence why there is no point for me in getting one. Besides, I don't do much photo shoots because no one wants to see my face.
Nowadays I can't be too nice anymore. The moment some got a vaccination date, I'll beg them to go. "But, sis, can I delay?" Not unless you have perfectly, good, valid reason. Otherwise, just get the vaccine already! You're not scared of the pandemic?! Don't wait till Miss Rona comes knocking on your door, only then you want to scramble for the vaccine!
There's not a lot of good news here. Cases are going up, a few places near me already have covid breakouts, pretty much causing me to freak out because I wanted to go and support the local hawkers, but...Nope, I'm running. Safety first! I'm lucky I stuck to home cooked food and cafeteria food (Depending on the menu because it changes every week) because at least I get to shift things up a little, and I do have some oat cookies in my drawer because I'm basically glued to my desk at work. The most I could do was stand and stretch at my desk (back and neck hurts after a long period of time - My doctor recommended me to get up and stretch every hour for a minute, five would be optimum)
So I got some new books which I bought second-handed, but I'm waiting for some books I ordered which will take some time. I'm trying really hard not to go online shopping because there's sale coming along, and when there's sale, your hands tend to get itchy.
I'm not feeling too well to be honest, so these few days are going to be short, but I'll still update. As long the lockdown is continuing, this diary is going to keep going.
*Today's case: 6,276 (This is going to take a while...)
Sugar, we're going down. Yep, not hitting less than 4,000 means this diaries are going to keep going. Wonder how much longer I can go on.
Evening shift, and today isn't too bad. I feel like chucking the phone, honest to God. Today there's a lot of people 'vaccine shopping" again. Please, I implore you, stop nitpicking and just get the vaccine already. Honest to God, all vaccines have side effects, the question is whether your body can handle the vaccine or not. No one knows. If you ask me, I also wouldn't know, but the vaccine is good for us, so why not just grab it when it's offered to you? I'm sure most people know by now, vaccines are created by injecting a small amount of the virus into our body. That's how our body withstand flu, pneumonia etc etc. I was scared too, but like I said many times, my doctors told me all about the good things taking the vaccine, none of that negative stuff. So yes, I went for both of my vaccination with minor side effects. The first one made me very sleepy, the second one gave me a minor migraine. "Just take a couple of Panadols and voila." Thanks, doctor.
For some weird reason, I couldn't get my colleagues. Wonder what happened? I think I must've tried calling them for an hour but I couldn't get them. Must be busy... This is one thing people don't understand. For gynae/obstetrician clinics, ENT (Ear, Nose, Throat), Dental (mainly these few) there's usually only one clinic assistant/ nurse, and they are in charge of everything. Most of the time they have to assist inside, so you won't be able to get them till you keep trying. I know it's frustrating but I got used to it, both as a customer and co-worker. As I always mentioned, if it's urgent, call. If you can't wait, run to the emergency. Especially with the pandemic, it is not advisable to walk in.
Why can't some people comprehend that we are in the midst of a pandemic? Stop giving excuses like: "I haven't seen my friends in so long." Um, we have Facebook, Twitter, Whatsapp, Facetime, Wechat, Instagram and all those good stuff (I'll even write letters if you want). You can still talk to them, just not face to face... And they will understand. I haven't seen my friends in so long, you don't hear me wanting to meet up with them, because I'm a healthcare worker, I do not want to put them in danger with whatever I'm carrying. Second, I may be vaccinated, but most of them are not. It links back to number one. Three, I do not wish to get them in trouble. The government has been very firm about this. If you have a huge gathering or event, be prepared to get a fine slapped on you. With money being tight at the moment, everyone is being frugal. People are losing job, economy's crashing and living expenses are going up, up, up. Can you blame people for being careful with their money? Conclusion, if you do not want to get slapped with a heavy fine, just follow the SOP and stop being ridiculous. Use modern technologies to contact your friends, please.
Health screening is important, I won't dismiss it, but let's be real. How often can we afford the money to go for health screening? I asked my dad years back regarding this, and he said: "If everyone can afford it, then why not got for it every year, or every three months?" Throw a few thousand here and there... But you see, most people do not have that kind of money, unless you have premium healthcare insurance coverage. I know people who can afford premium health screening every three month or every year, but most of us can't. That's reality for you. This is why it's important to take care of your health and body.
Same song and dance everyday. You know, people kept saying life is hard. It is. Since when life is ever easy? To quote my doctor: "If life is easy, the world would be a peaceful place. There wouldn't be world war, there wouldn't be politics. People could just open up their doors and be happy... But if that were the case, it'll be too boring." Life is worth living because of the struggle. If things are too easily won, then where's the challenge in that? I'm not a risk taker to be honest, but I did endure the chaos that always seems determined to swallow me...somehow in my own weird way.
This post isn't that long to be honest, there's not much to say. Stay safe.
*Today's case: 6,437 (You seriously still want to go out?)
If our case is not less than 4,000 then the lockdown will not be lifted. Darn it!
You ever encountered a really persistent person? Like from 7 am they keep texting you and telling you stories that you feel like begging them to stop? Literally that's what happened. How many times do we have to say, if you managed to get your covid vaccination time, then great. Yay, nope. Not this one, they got an appointment in days' time, and why do they not want to take the vaccine? Because they claimed that they will develop severe side effects: "I know my body well..." Um, have you taken the vaccine yet? No, their appointment is in few days' time, but they want to 'vaccine shopping' because they can't take this and that. Why? Why didn't you go to your local GP for pre-vaccination screening??? Why did you wait till last minute? Then they started bombarding me with several texts on how this country is better than ours, and this research says this and that. Best part: We are not even the place where they were supposed to be vaccinated. Then they started spinning things like "Can I come to your place to be vaccinated?" You can't, we strictly follow the mySejahtera app, you can't fool us. Then they went into another launch about how their family all suffered severe side effects, and even after I replied several times to call the main covid vaccination centre to appeal their case, they still bombarded me with texts. At this point, I finally ignored the texts, because today I'm alone, and my MO is also struggling alone, and we have a huge surge of whatsapp enquiries and calls. I had to beg the operators to hold the line unless it's a complex case, then we'll take it. What made me stop engaging was the privilege and entitlement. Do you know how lucky you are to even get the vaccination date, not to mention at a nice venue, and you want to throw it all away just to 'vaccine shopping'? My closed ones and friends haven't even gotten their vaccination date yet! They finally stopped texting near noon. You can only engage to a certain extent, but if you're going to shove everything back into our face despite us trying to be kind and understanding, then we have to stop because we got people who really need our help. If I haven't let go of this person, I couldn't focus on the incoming calls and important logs.
I knew that I'm already in big trouble, because early morning I'm already getting several phone calls regarding covid admissions. When covid admissions comes in, all bets are off. Whatsapp can wait, and we can only handle so much phone calls at a time. Read my previous entries regarding covid admissions, it is a very strenuous job, because we have to make sure we a thorough medical history, no shortcuts, no stones left unturned. We expect to get full details, meaning if you are planning to call on behalf, please get ready with all the details because we will be going in hard and fast. While I was helping my MO with the cases, my eyes are pretty much bulging with the amount of Whatsapp piling steadily, but we need to focus on covid cases, every little details count.
I'm going to say it still my throat goes dry regarding appointments. If you are going to get an appointment tomorrow, please call the clinic directly. We do not have access to making appointment, we also need to wait for the appointment. And I can tell you during my covid clerking, I can see a lot of "Has my appointment has been confirmed?" "Has there been updates?" "Please check on my appointment confirmation." I always end my messages with IF YOU DO NOT HEAR BACK FROM US, PLEASE CALL XXXX. My dad saw me on the verge of a breakdown and he told me: "Look, you have to learn how to put your foot down and said in a firm tone: If it's urgent, it is best if you call the clinic directly as we also need to wait till the clinic open. Sometimes we may have a sudden surge of enquiries, and we will not be able to attend on time..." But you see, we are part of a servicing job, like it or not, we have to service the people. As I learnt back in Japanese classes, お客様は神様です (Customers are kings)
Today's enquiries are strange. Today I have tons of enquiries regarding plastic surgery. What are we in - Nearly half a year now, I'm not sure, tis the season to get them, I guess. Mental health is another popular one. Well, it's not surprising, Miss Rona had taken a toll on everyone, I don't blame anyone if you need to get mental health help, I encourage you to do so if you think you need it. If I haven't found hobbies to keep me occupied, I might go spiralling as well...
I don't travel often, mainly due to financial restraints and because I'm introverted, but I wonder if people often take me as a fool. I got some queries that can be outright ridiculous, like one person once claimed to me this state doesn't have good hospitals and insist on coming over now, while they are having cardiac/ respiratory problems. Hello?! You can't be serious, you're not going to travel 4 - 6 hours down here, don't you dare tell me there aren't any good hospitals around your area. I may not know the places well, but come on, I have friends who came from countryside areas, and there are reasonable hospitals around, not super prestige, but serviceable, unless you require special requirements...
On a happier note, eateries hours have extended. Yay, roti canai here I come. =D
*Today's case: 5,218 (Well, there goes freedom D=)
Morning shift. Somehow I tend to draw weird cases in, I'm a weirdness magnet, used to it.
Today's case are mainly severe, and all of us are out of critical beds, and again, people are demanding for beds. My Medical Officer told me, "No more showing mercy." No, this doesn't mean we are going to war. It means we have to be firm and stand our ground. If we do not have the proper facilities for severe cases, then we can't take anymore severe cases. Nothing is worse than crushed hope. I should know, I got my hope trampled on several times, this is why I never put my hopes up.
You know, people seemed to paint us as villains, especially during the MCO period. Sigh. No matter how many times we try to explain to them the reality, we get bombarded by "It's your duty to help the people!!!" Yes, we did, but at the same time, it's our job to be honest and direct with you as well, no going under table (It's Asian speak for being shady). We're bound by medico-legal ethics as well, so no funny business, because at the end, the responsibility is down to us.
Someone mentioned to me regarding the pandemic, that the rich becomes richer; the poor becomes poorer; and for us working middle class folks, we are caught in the crossfire, sort of. I didn't think much of it at the time, but after having some time to ponder while handling enquiries and calls, yeah, it actually makes sense, and come to think of it, most people who outright hurl verbal abuse at us were the middle class people folks, not all, but there are some. I was pessimistic, before that I used to be extremely optimistic, and it really taught me a hard lesson on how things aren't always just black and white.
How many times have we stressed that there is no fixed pricing in medical field? You know, I was tempted to call a clinic during office hours to query about a pricing, but I know how the answer is going to go like this: "Sis, you need to come for consultation first only then we can quote the price." I've been in this line for so long I know that it's futile, and it's silly, because if your condition is severe, prices are definitely going to go up. Remember I have severe acne breakout years back? I had a query asking about laser treatment and chemical peel for acne. Well, we definitely can't quote the pricing, because I have seen severe acne cases like those rock solid types, some that looks like hives, some that has pus oozing, this is why we said you need a proper consultation first as you will require several sessions at monthly, two months, three months (?) intervals, depending on the doctor and treatment given. One thing I learnt during my acne treatment was the doctor stressed to me several times, acne may seem like a small thing, but it requires a lot of patience, changing certain lifestyle and diet and not going to lie, some money on hand because the medication is expensive, even though they had chosen the most mild, effective treatment for me that is considered budget friendly (The initial few months really took a toll on my wallet but I'm glad because they are mostly cleared. Money well spent)
At least today there weren't many weird enquiries, but there's a lot of calls, not too hard to handle. I only get tired when some people called me and told me they have their vaccination appointment and were hesitating whether to go or not. Are you joking? You got your vaccination appointment after so many hurdles, please, I beg you, get your vaccine, don't wait. Kementerian Kesihatan Malaysia has been sending us daily SMS updates on how you should not reschedule your vaccination appointment unless it is unavoidable, and I agree. Don't change your appointment just because you don't want this brand and you want this one instead. Please get vaccinated already.
Tomorrow is the last day of lockdown, which I'm worried, because we may need to extend again due to the cases still hitting high. Please, God, let this end soon.
CPRC Hotline Numbers for all your Covid 19 Enquiries. You can go to the Kementerian Kesihatan Malaysia Facebook page, it's a pinned post. Please be patient with them as they are congested with enquiries and calls.
2 more days, but I'm scared to keep my hopes up because the cases are inconsistent... Fingers crossed, toes crossed. We'll get through this.
Weekend evening shift. It's one of the things which I dread, because weekends is the time where you won't have much backup, not to mention the weird enquiries that tend to come in. Oh yes, folks, the 6 pm curse is back. I can't go to the temple to get flower water for cleansing, although I heard from my friends turmeric powder works as well...
There's one thing I noticed during the MCO period from last year till the current day. I feel like we're going backwards. Know why? Till this day we have begged people to register for their vaccination through mySejahtera, yet we still get people demanding for the vaccine balance. For the love of holy, you can't get the balance, there's a waiting list. It will never go to waste because the government will just contact the next person in line in the waiting list. One person ticked me off by saying "But - But I'm starting a job in August! I need the vaccine!" I'm sorry, the only thing I can say is register your vaccination slot in your mySejahtera app and wait.
Then someone contacted me regarding an overnight parking vehicle. O...kay. So what's the issue? They want to get the car out...without a ticket. Um, you do know how a parking system works right? You get a ticket, you pay for it at the autopay station and only then you can get your vehicle out... The person asked me if they can claim as a lost ticket... What on earth -
Lord give me the strength. Good thing I brought snacks, which is a must because when the enquiries and calls come flooding in, you won't have time to run for food. As usual, people came chasing me for covid admissions. Not trying to sound cold hearted here, but most insurances are not covering for covid admissions, and we have patients who had said they have no issue in paying, but when the going gets rough, they couldn't afford to pay for critical care, and things sometimes go into bad debts, which is sad. People are already suffering, and we really don't want to become villains... This is why we have to have our savings ready, because in the worse case scenario, you may have to end up dipping into your life's saving for hospital treatment, because sometimes it's hard to get insurance coverage.
I really don't like it when people tend to take things for granted. As mentioned before, you think it's cute when you make an appointment and then when you need to cancel or postpone an appointment, you couldn't bother to contact the clinic. It's called courtesy. If you do that to someone during an interview, it's plain rude, because people have allocated their time for you, the least you could do is to respect their time, just as they respect yours.
If you are a person who is suspected having covid, once you do your test, stay home. Don't wander about giving all sort of weird excuses, because you are considered 50-50, meaning you may or may not have it, so please don't go out and risk yours and other's health. Stay home till your result come out, and even if it comes out negative, practice your SOP guidelines. The only time an exception is made if when you are having severe symptoms, then call 999 or head to the nearest government hospital immediately.
I really don't have much to say because I'm really upset with people's attitude. I don't know, I swear to God, ever since the MCO started, I've seen all sort of weird things happening. Yes, I've seen some people who were generous and kind, willing to help, but the bad side tend to be seen more... And I need to crash early otherwise I won't be able to get past the morning...
*Today's case: 5,803 (Oh for the love of God) **Darn, I missed by 6 minutes, I'm sorry
Can't resist putting the tonberry in. If you have played Final Fantasy, you'll know what a pain they are.
Last day of being a sushi or a worm. I'm going to miss it, bur real life awaits. I got to stop looking at books because the internet is pushing a lot of books to me, which looks so tempting.
My relatives are asking me if there's any way to get quickly vaccinated. Other than waiting for your mySejahtera appointment or calling the Covid Vaccination Centre, I don't know what else can be done. You can't walk in, because you will not be entertained. I heard snippets of here and there people walking in and demanding for the balance as they claimed not everyone is able to show up, but don't forget, there is a waiting list that is provided by the government. You can't just go and demand for the vaccines. It just...doesn't work that way. I wanted everyone to get vaccinated too, but I'm not the government, as I have been saying for a long while, only the government has the final say.
Cases looked as though they are fluctuating out and down, and I still see people on social media showing people not wearing their mask properly, or not wearing it at all, or still going out for events. The last part makes me sad, because who doesn't miss events? I miss going out with friends, especially for Japanese food, movie dates (Not boyfriend, I meant close friend), karaoke, comic cons, book fairs...I'm not a party/ wedding type of person, but I attended a few friends' weddings, which was fun. Good times.
Muting all my notifications was the best decision that I have ever made. It was like a weight that has been lifted off my shoulders. Good, bad, I just block them all out. Remember, I only stick to music contents only or doing what I like. In a post not too long ago, I mentioned that I liked listening to commentary and some beauty Youtubers because their voice is soothing, but witnessing what is happening early this year, I pretty much threw them all away and only stuck to music contents only. If you refer to my previous post, you can see that some people have a condescending tone which rubs me the wrong way. I don't know, I actually like reading the description boxes and scrolling through some of the comments section, but seeing some of the horrific, awful things written in the comments section makes me sick, which is why I stopped engaging altogether (especially when I came back in 2020). I think I only kept two or three on my list but I stopped watching them altogether because they are stressing me out, and to be honest, why would I want to know so much about another content creator's personal life, relationship status and petty scandals? (Let's be frank, all of us have skeletons in our closet, but for this poor people, it's like their life is micro-monitored by the entire world) I just want something that I can put as background noise, or if they put out music content so that there's something to look forward to. There's too much negativity in the world, and I don't need anymore in my life.
At one time, I used to be obsessed over something, and a friend brought out a very good point: "If you don't want to talk about it, then don't keep bringing it up." They're right, but I noticed the internet can be very unforgiving. What happened to the good old days of just having fun? I'm lucky I still have this blog to share my thoughts and experience, and the blogging community has always been supportive, and we all stick to our own lane. Blocking is sometimes deemed as a cowardly way out, but for me, it's something that I used to keep my mental health in check. Something stresses you out, you don't engage in it, but if it keeps popping up into your timeline, block it.
So the new Final Fantasy VII Remake Intergrade with Yuffie's Episode recently came out. For fast review, I go for Shirrako. I followed him since from the beginning, he's usually fast when it comes to new games so he's my go-to-guy for gaming content. You can always count on him for being up to date (I cringe when I see him play Final Fantasy VII Remake, because - Shirrako, why don't you use summons? At least just for the fun of it) I'm happy that they made Yuffie bearable, but I didn't like it when they put her as a DLC. Actually, when I got my PS4 I was super happy, but seeing games that has so many DLC and most of them are locked behind paywalls makes me sad, because the console is not expensive, it's actually the game. A PS4 game here costs around RM 230++, especially for popular games like Final Fantasy and Kingdom Hearts, because that's where the hype is. Speaking of Kingdom Hearts III, I was extremely let-down by the game. It seems too short, and the plot is pretty predictable, but I wasn't mad about that, I was mad that the whole thing seems redundant, and don't forget, Kingdom Hearts III took nearly 14 years to be released (Kingdom Hearts II came out in 2005) Myself, and many others thought it's going to be spectacular, but what started out with a bang ended up sizzling like a damp firework. If I'm going to be honest, Kingdom Hearts II will be the best among the 3 series. I even liked the first instalment, because it was like braving into a new adventure (Even though I never liked them butchering the Final Fantasy characters - Maybe that's just me). The only few saving graces in Kingdom Hearts III were the graphic, gameplay, soundtrack (Highly recommend you listen to it) and some of the boss battles, I liked the Titans fight in Mount Olympus and the Kraken fight in the Carribeans (Wished they have put in the Kraken summoning chant from the second movie, but I understand that it's mainly due to budget and some other complicated things behind the scenes)(Coincidentally, they both used the same boss theme soundtrack)
Source: Kingdom Hearts 3: Three Titans (Ice Titan, Fire Titan, Wind Titan) Boss Fight #3 (English), published by Boss Fight Database on Jan 29, 2019
Source: KINGDOM HEARTS Ⅲ Davy Jones & The Kraken Boss Fight! (Pirates Of The Caribbean), published by Zaborg19 on Feb 16, 2019 (Skip to 6:54 for the Kraken)
I sincerely hope that future FFVII Remake doesn't get lock behind paywalls, because otherwise it's going to be extremely hard to support them. Covid isn't going to end anytime soon and a lot of people are losing their jobs, and I'm trying my best to help support indie and friends' business, but there's only so much I could do. On a serious note, I'm glad I never opened an indie publishing company and my rents and friends advised me to keep my day job, because it just shows you never know what is going to happen. I'm already planning to release the latest book as an e-book, but I'm hesitating on whether I should get physical copies or not... I don't know, I don't feel comfortable selling my books, given the current climate, when people are suffering.
Oh, I actually saw this video yesterday and I was teary-eyed. Not going to lie, the first time I watched it I got a shock, but after watching it a few times, I get it... I really do. I'm not going to spoil it for you but please watch it if you can. The man is seriously talented, I hope he gets the recognition he deserves. (For spoiler free experience, do not go to the comments! I'm glad I didn't, because the message really hammered home)
After watching the above vid, this video auto-played for me while I was writing, and for a moment there, I thought Oh God, what happened? After watching it, I feel like shaking Dr Jason through the screen. Why would you do that, Dr Jason?! WHY?!!!! My heart is already sad and you want to make it sad some more?! Kadavule! (In case you're wondering, Kadavule means My God! in Tamil)
*Today's case: 5,812 (Time to throw in our favourite word, HAIYAAA)
**Ignore the date above, I keep mixing up the American time (There's a lot of time difference depending on which region you're in) with Asian time, but based on my posting, it's 25th June 1447HR...
Left wrist hurts today, so this post is going to light-hearted. Not on duty... These few days have been very down so I'm sharing a photo of my baby (AKA The Pillow Hogger)
Irie the Pillow Hogger on top of Cat Mountain
Yeah, my phone is full of photos of my dogs, especially my baby, the toy poodle, because look at her, she's so cute, and small, and she often hogs pillows to herself. If I move the cat pillow out, she will go for her pink pillow (I called it Pinky, she has it since for 5 years already). The Yellow one I gave it to my other dog, but you know, she's not called the Pillow Hogger for no reason (as I'm writing this, she's hogging Yellow as well). I can't get my other dog a pillow because he's too big, but I'm patiently waiting for the Pet Shop or Sports Section to be open once more so that I can get him those hard tennis balls to play with because he's a rough boy. Most toys I got him were spoiled because he's rough, and they aren't durable enough for him.. Last I searched online, they said for huge dogs you're supposed to get something hard like rubber tires, but it's so pricey, so I'll go and look for an affordable tennis ball for him.
Not sure what happened to one of the dog treats that I frequently bought. Usually my dogs would be very happy to chew on it, but I don't know... The recent ones looked as though they have an extra coating of thick hide on top, not sure why. I always liked buying those large types because I get to see one of my dogs eating hamster-style. Oh, my other dog dragged the cat pillow out. Great. Now they both get to share.
Irie the Pillow Hogger is at it again...
Something rubbed me the wrong way. I was listening to a commentary podcast (I'm not going to say who) when the commentator said in a very condescending tone on how dogs aren't challenging (unlike cats), that most of the time they will come to trust you fast unlike cats. I beg to differ, it doesn't matter if it's a cat or a dog, all pets are challenging, whether it is a fish, a rabbit, a parakeet, a hamster...All pets have their own challenges. My little baby initially didn't like me in the initial two months, she would outright ignore me, and she has muscle weakness. I had to force feed her vitamins like a reluctant child (She hated the medicines and would always spit it out) because none of my family knew what to do. When she got scalded by drops of hot oil, or when she got injured by picking a fight with my other dog when they were being rough, I did her dressings everyday like how I would do for my regular patients. Recently I learnt to shave her fur because during the lockdown, I didn't dare to bring her to the groomer's, not to mention, she's overly friendly and would've been easily taken away. I would say when she is about three months old, she started to trust me, and remember, she has muscle weakness. She couldn't walk long, she could only take few steps before her legs give way, then she'll make those sad little sounds. So, dear commentator, don't you dare say dogs are easy to handle.
I got her to stand and quickly took a candid shot. All my doggies photos are candid shots because it's hard to get them to stay still for photos.
The Shih Tsu is easier to handle, but she's rough (Still is, but toned down). We nicknamed her Jaws because she can devour her food within minutes, and she's always hungry. You may think she look sweet based on the photo, but let me tell you, she can be outright aggressive to strangers. When we brought her to the groomer's, we received calls on how she will try to bite their hands because she does not trust strangers except us, the family. Despite her small size, let me tell you, she can bark really loud and chase strangers off. Again, this is call building a trust with her.
My outside dog is mainly rough, not aggressive, but rough. He tends to slam against the gate repeatedly to get our attention. It was a habit that he has been doing for a long while and it's difficult, my dad is worried that he will smash the glass nearby, but we solved it by putting a metal slab to prevent him from breaking it, and hopefully doesn't injure himself. I have seen glass cut injuries and oh God, I can never get out of my mind the amount of blood spilling, it still haunts me to this day.
Overall, nothing much is going on except my usual routine, read, write, draw. Tomorrow is the last day I get to be a worm or a sushi, after that it's back to real life.
Still on annual leave. Went for essential shopping for the first time in a long while since I ran out of Marmite (so delicious). Feel sad that I wanted to get more foam or matte boards for photography but the stationary section was closed off due to the lockdown and the sudden surge. Oh well...
So I was going through one of the manga groups that I am in, and someone moaned on how they wish the manga-ka would hurry up and finish a series, don't leave the ending hanging. For your curious minds, it is Togashi Yoshihiro (best known for Yu Yu Hakusho and Hunter x Hunter) After completing Yu Yu Hakusho, he had some health problems and is currently on hiatus for his Hunter x Hunter series... Another manga-ka whose work I enjoyed, Watase Yuu (best known for Fushigi Yuugi and Ayashi no Ceres) also had some health problems, hence why her latest series Fushigi Yuugi: Byakko Senki - The last series in the Fushigi Yuugi series, highly recommend you to read Genbu Kaiden, it's beautifully written, and if you have read the original Fushigi Yuugi, you know how the story is going to end - is on hiatus as well. This...is precisely the reason why I never liked creating a page or fandom, let alone Tumblr and such, because this reeks of entitlement. This is why George R.R. Martin always gets so much backlash. Yes, I understand The Winds of Winter should be out since God knows when, but George is old, and he's not just a novelist, he is also a famed screen writer, television producer and he runs Jean Cocteau Cinema based in Santa Fe (By the way, I tried reading A Game of Thrones, not my cup of tea. Same for Game of Thrones, but I know a little bit because my sister is a fan of his works, oh and because when the ending to Game of Thrones appeared, everyone was telling me don't watch it!!!). As Neil Gaiman has hammered it to everyone: "George R R Martin is not your bitch." You can read it here: Neil Gaiman's Journal: Entitlement issues... Let George finish writing at his own pace, and if he can't finish it, then so be it. (He has other books that you can read too)
Do you ever wondered why people like George and Sir Terry Pratchett asked to destroy their hard drives and files if they passed? Because they can't bear someone else to write their works for them. It's the same for me. Yes, I did take a long time to finish a book due to personal and mental health issues, but you see, we don't get to choose when we finish the book. We write as long as the story is flowing, we don't do half-hearted attempts. And yes, I already told my closed ones if something unfortunate should happen to me, destroy all my unfinished files and manuscripts (No, seriously, burn it, throw it into the ocean, flatten it with a steamroller if you have to. Don't let it fall into someone else's hands)
Another writer, who is a huge inspiration to me, it's L.J. Smith (best known for The Vampire Diaries series, The Night World series, and The Forbidden Game trilogy) She went on hiatus to take care of her family, and when she got back, she started creating new Vampire Diaries books, and before she could even finish the books the way she wanted, she was fired from her own works due to a contract she has signed*. Then, she had planned to focus on the Night World ending, and then, she nearly died due to getting diagnosed with granulomatosis with polyangiitis, a life-threatening disease (She originally posted about this on her website and Facebook but the link is dead). She was forced to go through physiotherapy to get her muscles working again, so stop hounding her to finish Strange Fate and The Last Lullaby. She has written other great books like The Forbidden Game trilogy (Still an absolute favourite), Dark Visions trilogy, or you can read the Night World series individually (They work well as standalones as well) you can read those while waiting. (I know it is due to a contract but I have never forgiven the publishers for firing LJ Smith - No need to boycott them, I just stopped reading the series once I found out she was no longer writing it. It also teaches me to be very careful of the contracts you plan to sign, especially for writers starting out)
If I'm going to be honest, the only writer who I witness who is pushing out consistent work is Meg Cabot (Amazing lady! Huge inspiration as well) because she never misses a deadline, and has written more than 80 books. Among all the authors I have read, she's a one-woman machine, constantly churning out books. JK Rowling (Can't really blame her, crime fiction is a tough genre), Anthony Horowitz and Stephen King are great too, but they have slowed down a little, but at least there's a large variety of books you can read from them. Speaking of Uncle Steve, I just ordered a few books of his. (Oh, I should put Sophie Kinsella here as well, because she also releases a book everytime, but I'm getting a little bored with her writing, mainly due to her saying at one point in an interview, she like doing the girl-meets-boy and they slowly fall in love in the most outlandish situations you can think of. She's a good plot writer, but when it comes to the situation, it's a little bit ridiculous, but that's what also makes her book a pure delight, because you're not supposed to take it seriously, but as I said, I found her a little boring lately, I didn't bother to read Surprise Me because looking at the snippet and plot, I found it to be unrealistic)
What I'm trying to say...in a gentle tone, that writers are not machines. They are humans as well. If you refer back to Entry 16, I mentioned entitlement. Some writers are great, they finish a series first before setting out on another project. Then you have some writers who will shuffle around different books before completing a series. That way you get a variety of books, but at the same, it can be frustrating if you have invested in one series. Unfortunately, I fall under the second category. I don't know, I got the ideas outlined for the books I'm writing, but for some reason, my brain love to shuffle around, and I used to tackle multiple projects at once. Currently, I'm unable to due to the last novel I wrote, which was taxing, and the latest manuscript which got corrupted. If you enjoy reading books or watching contents from your favourite creators, you can always hop on back and read or watch their earlier contents while waiting for something new from them, because art takes time to create.
At last,SirTerry, we must walk together.
Terry took Death's arm and followed him through the doors and on to the black desert under the endless night.
Not on duty, I'm on annual leave, 'nuff said. You know, according to the government, if we don't drop below 4,000, the lockdown is going to continue ( and so are these Lockdown 3.0. Diaries)
I haven't been out for a long time except for work and essential shopping. I get it, for extroverts/social butterflies, it's difficult. People who love going out seem to find themselves being suffocated, but for us introverts, it's a relief. If you give me a choice, I would prefer to work from home (Pretty much half of my life is spent on Microsoft Word, but due to the lockdown diaries challenge, I'm temporarily here for the moment) but healthcare workers are not given the choice, because everything we do is legal and P&C, and we can only access the system in our office, so we still have to show up. One thing in my line of work is you can never predict what's going to happen.
People often asked: How do you know everyone well? Well, I was a runner for years. I cover everyone, every department, every clinics. As long as there's a shortage of hands, I have to cover. During these times, it was exhausting, tiring, and I have to check my roster everyday, and I can't be too comfortable because changes tend to happen last minute, but as I always said, I'm grateful, because when I was shifted to a more customer support orientated job, this is when the knowledge of various departments and networking comes into play. When you need help, it's easier because you know everyone, and everyone knows you. Never knew that the networking came in handy.
I gotten the chance to sit in with the operators at the switchboard room during night shifts before I was not allowed to roam to other department due to the ongoing pandemic, and let me tell you: Respect. Phones kept ringing, if they can handle, they handle the calls, but what amaze me was during an emergency. At that time, I have no idea that the emergency phone is separate from the general line, and it is loud. Usually during night shifts, it's tiring, and sometimes, you tend to doze off a little due to the long hours, but when that phone rings, everyone leaps into action. One person will answer the call, and once they took down the details, before announcing it via the PA system. I asked them: "Don't you all feel terrified (especially during Code Blue)?" The answer: Yes, they do. This is why they will take a minute to compose themselves, especially when their heart is pounding hard before announcing so that they don't panic or stutter, because when your thoughts are scattered all over, chances are you may end up announcing the details wrong. During an emergency, every second count. Oh, the switchboard is not as fancy as you think. There's no way they can backtrack a call, because they don't have the fancy tech for it. So we still have to do it the old fashioned way, take a pen and paper and take down the number.
Why do people call at night to make appointments? Genuinely why? No one is going to wake the doctors in the middle of the night, I cannot imagine calling my doctors in the middle of the night telling them, "Hello, can I refer a new patient to you?" Not only it is plain silly, but expect my doctors to give me a long lecture on non-emergency calls (AKA taking the violin and singing songs, and if they want to go more aggressive, add in the speakers) As I have mentioned several times, you are not going to go through several channels to make an appointment. It's a little silly, and by the time we get to the designated person, people could have changed their mind. It happens, usually at the height of the moment, people will be demanding to see the doctors NOW, but once they have the chance to calm down, sometimes they will go: "Oh, it's okay. I'm not in pain anymore. You can cancel my appointment." At times, it makes you feel like a fool, because it is not easy to get through phone calls. Everyone is busy, and I have stressed this several times, you are not going to go through several different channels to get an appointment.
Due to the pandemic, yes, we do encourage everyone to stay at home, but if you require urgent treatment for illness, then yes, you're encouraged to go the nearest healthcare facilities for the care you require. What I can never understand is patients (mostly new cases) will said that they are scared to come to the hospital due to the pandemic and insist on online consultation or phone consultation. First of all, online consultations are mainly for follow up cases. For a brand new case, it is extremely difficult to gauge from the PC. Second, not all cases are suitable for online. Third, nobody would ever consult a person through the phone, because of medico-legal issues. Ever since I got shifted, I noticed people love to ask me, "Based on your experience, what do you think of the treatment/ diagnosis/ outcome?" I never trust people over the phone, because what I hear could be different when the patient comes in real life for assessment. Besides, my doctors had always warned me to never, ever act too smart. Let's just say based on your symptoms, more or less I think it's Carpal Tunnel Syndrome, I can't say: "Oh, you have CTS." Hell no. I would suspect it could be, but I maybe wrong, this is why you need to see the doctor to get a proper assessment done.
One thing I could never understand, people demanding for the doctor's personal handphone. I'm sorry, but there is no way I'll ever give you the doctor's personal number, and certainly not our personal number, because people had no boundaries. Let me tell you, when I was a junior who didn't know any better at that time, I foolishly gave my mobile to a patient. I had to block them in the end after a week because they called me every single day, every hour. Even when I'm not on duty, they will call me and said things like no one came to attend them. Um, what do you want me to do? I'm not on duty. The same goes for the doctors' handphone. What I heard was patients tend to misuse the number given because somehow, they think they have their own personal doctors, meaning they will message, call for every thing. It's scary.
Because the news and messages had been stressing me out lately, I have muted all my notifications. So if I didn't respond to you on time, please don't get mad.
*Today's case: 4,743 (Mm, can we go down some more?)
**Currently listening toSocial Repose - Calamity Full Album Playlist. It's nice. Quarantine period really had me scouring around for new songs to listen to besides J-Pop (Needed to expand my music playlist). Once the pandemic is over, I really want to go back to karaoke.
Not on duty again, this post is going to be on a slightly serious note because I'm getting tired of some people's attitude... I'll try not to dwell too much otherwise things can turn a little dark.
The last week of work is like trying to fight against a tsunami or a hurricane with the amount of vaccination enquiries. Pretty much to the point where every answer we give is a stock answer (with some slight amendments. I had to throw my phone far, far away because everytime when I look at it, there's a lot of things going on, otherwise I won't be able to sleep properly.
I know, I know, I'm trying detach myself from work, but it's not easy, especially when you're working 24 hour shifts. My doctors been telling me to detach myself from the work, but I just can't seem to do it. Even when I'm off duty, I have to hover around the Kementerian Kesihatan Malaysia Facebook, Khairy's Twitter (I do not have a Twitter, I just hover around), the huge news outlet because that is where most of the medical updates come from. People nowadays are tech savvy, so we also have to keep up with them.
I never understood why people feel the constant need to blast negativity in social media. I'm not just talking about bad reviews, I mean like bringing up things that have happen years ago, like, what point are you trying to make? Something happened 4 - 5 years ago, you're going to keep bringing it up? I know someone at my workplace who will never let me forget it on how I made one small mistake of putting the wrong label on the OT slip - Which I immediately rectify once I found out, thanks to the OT Team being diligent and giving me a call: "Sis, we think you put the wrong sticker label on the OT slip. Could you come up and verify it?" My doctor wasn't even mad, because thank God I managed to fix the mistake before it became a big issue (I also Whatsapp them later several times apologizing and they told me: "As long as you can rectify it before it becomes a big issue, then it's okay, do be careful next time.") They'll be even more mad if no one checks on the mistake, and we brought the wrong patient in, that'll be a huge medico-legal issue. This person, whenever they see my face, will always bring it up: "You know, this person had stuck the wrong sticker on the OT slip." Yeah, 4 - 5 years ago, for crying out loud! How would you like it if someone keeps bringing something up to your face that things that have happened years ago? Don't you want to see people learn from their mistakes and grow? Lord knows I screw up a lot as well, but I learn from my mistakes. That's how human grow. To give you another example, I once accidentally spilled some expensive meds due to a faulty product. Of course people were disappointed with me, but after that incident, I attended a course on how to avoid any accidents or potential faulty product, and it has never happened ever since. No one is perfect, we are all flawed beings. We learn, we adapt, we grow. No, it's not something that can magically happen overtime. It's called progress, baby steps. I also highly urge you to read this blog by Dr Phang, which I have a copy printed and stuck outside my room door:
I have been off meds for years now, and as mentioned in one of my early posts, I'm trying to be kinder to my physical, but most importantly, mental health. I still struggle internally, but I try to avoid things that triggers. I used to be extremely pessimistic, but some people forced me not to talk so negatively, and forced me to focus on the positive things. It took years, but at least I stopped being so pessimistic. It's why I keep my mind occupied, and I stay away from negativity on the internet, and stick strictly to music contents only. Sometimes, we just want people to listen to us. We don't expect you to answer, but just listen to us, that's good enough.
People around me kept asking me to go and promote my books, writing and editing service, and essays online (For better exposure and to be more noticeable) which always makes my heart pound fast. For one thing, I don't think I'm thick skinned enough to survive social media. I admire people who put themselves out there, you know, especially some Youtubers who I enjoy watching , because it's not easy to get up on camera and talk, or even put your content out there (Heck, I still struggle to do case presentations in front of people). Confidence and charisma is something that you build overtime, it's not something that a textbook can teach you, just like writing. You can attend writing courses to learn tips and tricks, but writing is something that you have to learn on your own. If you have seen my earlier posts and now, you'll see there is a massive difference. That's call improving on my writings. I never thought I would write a crime fiction (It's out of my genre), and expand on essays and short stories, it just shows you life is full of surprises.
Back to the topic at hand, I'm not entirely condemning social media. I was lucky to have met good people and I use it mainly to connect with friends (especially those who are based in overseas). You know, I voiced this out to one of my patients while I was doing their dressing and they gave me a good advice: "Social media is not exactly bad per se, but it's how you use it." They're right. Social media is something that can be truly wonderful when utilized correctly, but like most things, it's a double-edged sword. I'm not going to give a lecture here, you use it how you want it, just don't use it to slander people. As I have always said, words hurts more than a knife wound. You don't like someone, don't leave nasty things on their social media, just ignore, don't engage, don't watch their content. And please, for God's sake, don't sent people death threats. At the end of the day, don't forget, the people behind the screens are human beings as well, they have feelings too. Besides, there's always two sides to every stories, so don't go judging a book by its cover.
You can make a damn mistake without it thrown back in your face - 2005, by Sadboy2005
Source: Sadboy2005 - 2005 (Official Music Video), published on Jan 19 2021 by blndsundoll4mj
*Today's case: 4,611 (Progress, folks)
**For emotional support, please call the Befrienders' hotline at 603-76272929 or email sam@befrienders.org.my / Office no.: 603-79571306 [temporarily closed] or email admin@befrienders.org.my
***In case you don't feel like clicking on the link, I copied the post and tidied it a little. I do not own this blog post, it is just something I think that should be shared around:
Dr. Phang Cheng Kar
Oct 9, 2018
4 min read
10 Things Not Helpful To Say To People With Depression
Updated: Sep 14, 2019
By Dr. Phang Cheng Kar (M.D.), Consultant Psychiatrist & Mindfulness-Based Therapist
Major Depressive Disorder (a.k.a. Clinical Depression) is a severe medical condition that negatively affects the way we think, feel, and act. Effective treatment of depression includes good social support. Despite with good intention, we sometimes say things that are unhelpful or may worsen a person's depression:
(1) Don’t be lazy; you’re wasting your time!
WHY NOT? Feeling tired all the time and loss of interest in activities are common symptoms of depression. "Lazy" implies that the person is having an attitude problem or is making it up.
Say: It must be very frustrating feeling tired and moody all the time. You won’t be able to do things for yourself and others. That must be a terrible feeling.
(2) Nothing is impossible; think positive and be strong.
WHY NOT? Having depression is not a sign of weakness. Depression is an illness, not a weakness. Many great people in the world had depression, e.g., Winston Churchill (British Prime Minister), J.K. Rowling (author of Harry Potter), and Jim Carrey (actor and comedian).
Say: I'm sure it's tough going through all the difficulties. Maybe you’re too strong for too long, and it's time for more self-compassion.
(3) Be grateful; many people have a worse experience.
WHY NOT? This response may be invalidating or disrespecting the emotional pain of a depressed person. They may also think, "Yes, I'm so ungrateful and useless. People can cope and move on, but I can't. I’m a burden to others."
Say: It’s unfortunate that so many bad things had happened to you. Thank you for sharing your experience. We’ll see what we can do to help you cope with the challenges.
(4) It’s a result of your bad karma or sin; do more good and let go-lah!
WHY NOT? We may induce or worsen guilt and shame feeling which are common in depression. It may also trigger thoughts of worthlessness, "I'm not good enough.”
Say: Bad things sometimes do happen in life and nobody knows why. It happened to me/ my relatives/ my friends too (share your experience). It's painful. Let’s try to move on together.
(5) How long more do you want to be depressed?
WHY NOT? Being depressed is not a deliberate choice. People with depression are often victims of abuse (e.g. bullied in school) and discrimination (deprived of a job opportunity).
Say: Wow, you’ve been struggling for so long. It must be challenging to go through this alone. Well done for not giving up. Let me know if there’s anything that I can support. We care for you.
(6) You think you’re the only one with problems?
WHY NOT? Yes, all of us have problems. But we have different strength and weakness in coping with problems. It’s not helpful to judge people’s ability to cope.
Say: I also have issues (share your experience). We have different strength and weakness. We can help each other to solve issues. Let me know if you wish to share yours. Maybe we can discover a solution together.
(7) Stop pretending to be depressed!
WHY NOT? Nobody chooses or pretends to have cancer. The same applies to depression, a medical condition with neurobiological changes in the brain and body. A small number of people with depression might have personality issues (e.g., using the illness to avoid responsibilities or seek attention). Bear in mind that they're the minorities. Most of them want to recover from depression but are helpless in battling the disease.
Say: Perhaps you don’t have to try so hard pretending to be happy. Sometimes, it’s OK not to be fine. I know you've tried your best. It’s a horrible illness.
(8) You must be too free and thinking too much. Why don’t you do something useful, e.g., exercise?
WHY NOT? Depression is not necessarily caused by having too much of time, doing nothing, or thinking negatively. A person with depressive mood has biochemical abnormalities in the brain and body that cause them to have no strength to work on things. Just as a person with knee injury can’t walk, a person with ‘mood injury’ (depression) can’t work.
Say: Feeling restless and like you’re wasting time is an awful experience. Let’s start with doing the easy tasks.
(9) Never have suicidal thought. Your family will be hurt if you die of suicide.
WHY NOT? Nobody wants to end their lives prematurely. People with depression want to end their pain; not their lives. Having suicidal thought is not a choice. It’s the consequence of the pain of depression. Don’t add more pain by making them feel sorry for having suicidal thoughts.
Say: Depression is painful, and it’s understandable that you wish to end the pain. Depression is treatable! Let’s seek advice from mental health professionals for proper treatment of the pain. I know this good doctor personally/ I heard of this excellent doctor. Would you like me to help you to get an appointment?
(10) Your depressive mood will become a form of negative energy to others.
WHY NOT? A depressed person knows very well that moodiness and negative thoughts are unhealthy (just like a person with chickenpox infection knows that it’s contagious). When we say the above, they may feel guilty for emotionally disturbing the people around them.
Say: It’s unavoidable for a person suffering from depression to feel moody. I know you don’t wish to be like that. No worries and don’t feel bad as people wouldn’t blame you if they have a proper understanding of depression. Let’s move on. You have my support.
In brief, refrain from giving unsolicited advice as it often makes things worse. Just listen attentively with empathy and be supportive (e.g., offer tissue paper for crying, give a gentle pat on the shoulder, and adopt a friendly body posture and facial expression).
Let the mental health professionals offer advice (they have more effective ways of doing that). Don’t damage your relationship with your loved ones because of the advice; it’s not worth it. Your job is to listen and be patient with the patient. That’s good enough.
Not on duty. These last few days had been raining a lot lately (No hailstones today, thank God, apparently there were hailstones yesterday). Spending my time reading and writing. I thought I'll just talk a little bit on what art mediums I use.
I'm pretty much pathetic when it comes to digital art. I could never figure it out, but I do know how to use basic Canva app for basic book covers and most recently, simple illustrations (I rather draw, but I have no clue on how to insert illustrations into a book, and I don't have a scanner because my printer has gone to heaven a long time ago - And according to my friends, most people use their phone scanner, which I do not have, I have to pay 40 Pounds to get the app O.O). Reason why I started doing it is because my main cover artist is extremely busy juggling several jobs. Usually what I do is create the cover and send it off to him for approval. Canva is pretty fun to use, and best of all, it's free. The only time you need to pay is if you want to use premium designs.
I'm pretty much traditional, meaning I use pencils and papers. I always liked using them because it's therapeutic, a good way to unwind after a long day of work. I know some people buy colouring books because there's just something calming about filling in black and white pages with an explosion of colours. Me, I don't really colour much, I actually prefer black and white sketches, mainly because I'm not so great in colouring. You know like how some people can do gradient colouring beautifully? I can never do it, except for nail gradient art.
I used a lot of pencils, mainly 2B and 6B, occasionally I'll also use mechanical pencils/ shakers. When I first started off, I used mechanical pencils/ shakers and 2B a lot, then my cover artist, who studies Digital Art but also does beautiful sketches, was the one who gave me pointers to improve on my drawings. He told me that I need to get 6B pencils because the lead is thicker and darker and enhances the drawing. 2B is usually used for rough sketches and mechanical pencil/shakers leads are used to highlight or touch up (something along the line like that) Since then I always make sure to have at least one 6B pencil with me at all times. He also told me to never ever use a pencil sharpener because when the lead is too sharp, it tends to break, giving you weird lines while drawing. Since then I have always carried a penknife in my art kit. Don't forget your eraser. Favourite brands for pencils are Staedtler and Faber-Castell, although I still have some old Stabilo 2Bs from my school days for exams period. For eraser I go with my trusty Stabilo Exam Grade. For mechanical pencils/ shakers you can opt for any brand, I still have my old Pilot shakers.
I wonder if people still keep their mechanical pencils/ Shakers?
In the event of colouring, I tend to dabble around, because it depends on what I'm doing. If I'm doing cosplay props, I go for acrylic paint because I just have to paint vigorously, or Sharpie depending on what prop I'm making. One time I tried using oil pastels but it's not really my thing. Last time I ever touched crayons was back in primary school, although I still have some lying around somewhere in my drawers. Currently, my favourite tools for colouring are colour pencils (You can never go wrong with them, Sharpies (if I'm planning on doing something bold or for book signings) and the newest addition, waterbrush pens. I first stumbled on waterbrush pens in Kinokuniya, which cost around RM 150 for a set. At that time I didn't have the money, but kept it somewhere in the back of my head that I should start saving up to get some. Then I found some at an annual book fair, which cost around RM 300 because it is a professional artist set made for professional artists. At that time I shook my head because I'm a hobbyist, I don't need fancy tools for colouring. Then the pandemic hits. No more book fairs, no more going to bookshops because they are considered non-essential items. Come early this year near Chinese New Year, I was scouting around for jewelry wires when I stumbled upon this:
At that time, there was a sale, and I can see there's plenty of good reviews, so I thought okay, let's try it. The casing it came in was a little spoiled (I'm not blaming anyone, the seller had took extra care to put in thick padding, bubble wrap, waterproof wrapping and seal it all around with cellophane, things happens when you are buying things online and from overseas), but the brushes were in good condition (Which is the most important thing), so I store them in a case, although I'm looking for those cheap canvas roll bag because the case I'm using takes up too much space, and it makes my artist bag looks fat. It's great for people like me, because I used to use watercolours, and unfortunately, I'm lazy when it comes to mixing colours, not to mention I have to carry a palette, cloth and plastic cup, so in a way, you could say those watercolour brush pens are suitable for people like me. For colour pencils, I go for the 48 colour Staedtler Luna set (The plain or water soluble ones are fine, but do be careful if you are using the water soluble ones because it can make your colour look weird when water touches it, especially during an accident). Previously I used the 48 colour Faber-Castell set, but I don't really like how the colours turn out.
Another tool which I don't mention, because I do not like bringing it up, are Chinese calligraphy brushes and ink. The only time I ever use it, mind you, is if I'm doing Chinese calligraphy. I got rid of the whole lot because at that time, I don't take care of the brushes well, and if you have used calligraphy ink, it has a very strong smell. I'm not sure how to describe it, but it smells really bad when you don't use it after a while. I wouldn't mind getting back into it, but not till I figure out how to store the calligraphy brushes and ink bottles safely. Oh, and I'm a lefty (Or (tangan)kidal (Sinistrality if you want to go fancy), as the locals call us). To write Chinese calligraphy, I have to go from right to left to avoid my hands stained in ink, which takes forever to get rid off on your skin. If it gets under your fingernails, look out.
Regarding papers, there's no preference. For my serious artist friends, they go for acid-free papers because it doesn't yellow easily and it's long lasting. I use art blocks and sketch books, although I have friends who are talented in drawing on anything, like a paper napkin (Coffee Bean or Starbucks napkins are the best for drawing) or use ballpoint pens (Which I absolutely despise, because once you make a mistake, you can't erase it, but it can produce great art pieces if you are an expert in using it)
Anyway, Happy Father's Day. Stay safe and get yourself vaccinated.
Freehand waterbrush art, and I was balancing the sketch book on one hand
*Obviously I can't show you the full collection because there's too many, so I just grab a handful of them and spread them out. Excuse the poor lighting because my bulb burnt out, and there was a thunderstorm outside.
**Most of the tools I have are quite old, as evidenced by the pictures shown because I have them since from young. I don't usually colour a lot as you can see, so they still look in tiptop condition.
Not again, unstable internet again. I used my phone data but it's also unstable. I'm using the old method of writing this in Microsoft Word and pasting it here. We writers tend to have PTSD if our writings get lost in cyberspace or gets corrupted, not to mention there's a thunderstorm outside so I'm praying hard the electricity doesn't jump.
Slow day, but a lot of appointments enquiries. Not too bad. Few patients made me feel a little weird. One person called up on behalf of a closed one regarding that they are feeling uncomfortable and pain for few days and their appointment is in few days time as doctor is on leave. I advised them to go to emergency immediately since they are in pain despite taking pain killers. What I could never understand was they asked me for my expertise over the phone. You can't ask me to judge based from a phone call. Best way is to get to the emergency, get the Medical Officer in charge to have a look, and page the relevant doctor in charge. B-But what about covid? The healthcare facility is already taking so much precaution to prevent the spread of covid. Please just come now.
There's a reason why I always ask if you want a physician or a surgeon, because not many people like surgeons. A good example is between the gastroenterologists and the general surgeons. They are more or less the same, except one treats with medicine and non-invasive treatments, whereas the other does invasive, meaning, they make an incision. I used to refer people straight to surgeons, but then some people voiced out that they are uncomfortable. Certain fields such as orthopaedic, urology and vascular surgeons, yes they are surgeons but they will usually try conventional methods first, and when all fails, then yes, surgery will be considered the last option.
Very interesting few cases near end of the shift. We got one regarding sarcopenia (Loss of muscle mass and function due to old age) The first thing in my mind came was the orthopaedic doctors, but then when you're talking about old age, you think about geriatrician as well. Just to be safe I took down the details and made several phone calls. Since today is the weekend, no one is going to entertain me much, not to mention everyone is busy with their work. In the end after several attempts, I managed to call a few orthopaedic doctors whom I closed with, and they told me they don't treat this type of cases. Then I went to pretty much like last hope who is the geriatrician, and let me tell you, there's only a handful of them, same like the child developmental specialists. It's really hard to get appointments with them, because Lord, you have to keep calling till you get them. Thank the Lord the geriatrician accept the case. Next.
I spend hours on this one. This one really put me into a corner. Let's see, a clinic shoved this case to us, claiming that we are a vaccination centre, and that we should handle this. Seeing there is no other choice, I took the call. This person is calling on behalf of someone regarding their post vaccination on how they developed severe reactions. The weirdest part was the caller had called several places and everyone had given them a different opinion, still not satisfied with the answer, they called the clinic, and when the doctor isn't in, they have given the advice on whether to go or not go, but they are still unsatisfied. Long story short, I made several phone calls, talked to the doctors, at the end of the day, we gave our advice: There is no harm in taking the vaccine, HOWEVER, you are family, so the final decision still falls to you, the family. We can only give health advice so far, but the one who is getting the vaccine is the patient. No one can predict what the vaccine does. I was scared too, but my doctors told me the good things about it. My dad was scared too, but he still took his dose. None of us had severe side effects. I don't want to get into the whole story due to P&C, and to be honest, it's really long. Short version: I gave them a letter, prepped the team to standby and advised the person to decide. They threw a question back to me before we hung up. "If you were in my position, will you do it?" Without hesitation, I said yes. "You're not scared that you'll die?" Well, it's like the doctors jokingly told me early on in the year: You take the vaccine, you die. You don't take the vaccine and get covid, you also die. At the very least, get yourself vaccinated to protect the people around you.
I'm going to run now because now we got raining hailstones. God, it's so loud.
Today's case: 5,911 (Follow the Yellow Brick Road)
