Psychology Assessment

27th March (Friday) - I really have no idea how to write about this one. Will I be breaking a lot of rules here? But somehow, I feel like this is something to be shared, and I'll make it simple and brief. And hopefully I don't sound crazy.
I went to work as usual and the Sister finally arranged a psychology therapy for my mental breakdown. Uh, yes, no joke here. I went to register myself and the psychologist handed me a couple of sheets which I'm supposed to fill in. There's no right or wrong answers. It's merely a basic assessment about getting to know yourself better. I did read little bit about psychological assessment for research purpose, but in real life it's a little different. Well, not much, but this is briefly how it goes.

> Your past medical/surgical history
> How do you feel about yourself
> Have you ever taken drugs/ alcohol?
> Have you ever been in a relationship?
> What do you when you're upset?

It's a really brief, simple, assessment. Well, I tried filling in my answers as honest as possible, because if there's one thing I know, I'm going to have to be truthful in this, because I really need all the psychological support and help. And heaven knows I'm a wasteland inside while I still look normal on the outside.
After giving my consent, the psychologist led me to a cosy room with soft cushiony furnitures and dim lights. She explained to me briefly about the consent details and then we started off. It was like an interview, but mostly about expressing myself. Snot crying again (God, I hate crying), I poured out all the things that have been bottled up inside for all those years. Even though I only just met her, I feel like she's someone I can be honest to about my feelings. Previously, I did attend a so-called psychologist who claims he's an expert with teenage issues, but that so-called psychologist is, sorry to say, a horrible, arrogant, snob who makes you feel bad about yourself by giving harsh comments that always meant in the end, no matter how he tries to sweet-coat his words, you got no one to blame but yourself. Awful, I never one to see him ever again.
This psychologist, a female one, is really nice. She's so sweet, soft, caring, and tries to open your mind to see the positive signs about you. I was hesitant at first, only briefly telling her that I used to get a lot of gifts from patients back in my previous workplace, even though sometime I only did simple things for them, like asking how are they etc etc. And she went further on, "Isn't that a good thing? What does that describes you?" Well, I try to treat patients like my friends, someone who they can open up with, I don't want it to be too formal, and I want to ensure patients are always happy, even though hospitals can be a rather dull place. Being a patient a few times, once for medical treatment, another time for surgery had helped me in a way, allowing me to help share some of my experience with the patients. I maybe a nurse, but when I become a patient, I'm no longer a nurse, but just an ordinary person who comes seeking for treatment. She then said, "That is a quality that you possess. No one else can take it away from you. Same goes for your love of writing novels and drawing."
She then started the therapy by giving me two situations: One, you happen to be at a shopping mall and someone stepped on your foot. It hurts, but the person just walked off and never apologize. How would you feel? I feel a little irritated, he could at least say he's sorry, just a simple one will do. I don't expect anything else. Scenario number two, you happen to be at the same shopping mall,and the same person steps on your foot again. It hurts, but this time you notice the person is blind. How would you feel? This time, I feel neutral, because I'm sure he didn't mean it.
Two scenarios that were more or less the same, but with different reaction. Her conclusion was that I was overly too harsh on myself, thus leading to depresson. She then asked me what I planned to do next and I said, if I can just randomly pick one patient and just make him/her happy, I'll be happy enough too. Our session then ended with a follow up on next week plus a CD to guided relaxation.
And that concludes my psychological assessment.