Dilemna

11th March (Wednesday) - I finally did it. Somehow, I managed to gather enough courage to speak to the Sister about the ghosts from the past that kept haunting me. I have to say, she's a rather nice change from my previous environment. She listened to my woes and dilemna as I poured out how my doubts are torturing me. She just gave a kind laugh and said, "Well, you're only 7 days old, and you're working here for the first time. You can't expect too high of a standard for yourself." She does have a point, but today I was finally tasked with two things that nearly made me lost. Booking for OT and injection. Uh-oh. I did what I could, but I'm not fast. So it took me a really long time on to find the right papers.Then because now doc has his new chop, so I have to take the task of slowly stamping each paper from zero til the end. A slight mistake is not an option. The chop has to be clear and precise. A mistake means tearing the paper and considered wasted.
Booking OT is a really tough task. Since I have to wait for the doctor to confirm everything before I dash things off, I'm half lost at the amount of paper work. Thank God he was a nice guy otherwise I think I'll be shivering. It's a first, it's a first. I was hoping to catch up   fast but as the Sister said, "Absolutely impossible. It took me a month to remember THINGS, Can you imagine how long it'll take for me to remember system work flow and process?" Seeing it took me at least 3 months to stop shaking, and another 3 months to handle blood taking like nobody's business. I'm not going to let people keep me down, but of course, anywhere you go it's the same. No matter how nice people treat you, they are going to push you hard. The only comfort I had was another Sister advised me to stay strong. The most important thing is to keep the initiative strong and memorize the important stuff, like your basic nursing principles like hand-washing and sterility. And since now my doctor is slowly becoming well known, his patients are slowly increasing by the minute, which yes, I have to run like a crazy person back and forth. Thank God the Sister briefed me and remembering what I was taught, I just handled it, it's rocky but it's a start. A START.