Memory Lane

8th December (Tuesday) - I counted the days from September. It has been more than four months since I assisted Dr So-and-So. Was it that long? As I was preparing the new appointment book (finally got it for around MYR 30, so worth it), drawing lines and filling in the public holidays, it got me thinking back to the first day we met.
I had never seen him before from my first day. The only thing I knew about him was when I went to the first floor to get something after a month or so, I saw a big sign with his name that says he's shifted to the Fifth floor. I got a good look at his previous room. (I say room, because currently he's allocated in a suite) It's really small, and there's no places for nurses to sit, like one doctor whom I assisted (I had to sit by the doctor's table because there's no other places to sit). And it's really cramp because there are three people sharing, all of different specialty. I asked the girls there how do they manage it, and their answer was, "Imagine all three asking you to shift their desk, and all of them have different times and stuff that you need to arrange." Oh boy, I really can't imagine that. No wonder why he shifted upstairs. His suite is definitely a big improvement, with a proper nurse's desk and with a bigger room for doctors. Oh joy. :D
When I first came up, armed with appointment book and MC in hand, the first thing that came to my mind was he must've really liked paintings. Because everywhere I looked, it's all paintings, mainly from Thailand and his certs and qualifications. He has a lot of them, I doubled check his specialty and it says mainly he's a Spine consultant, but it also wrote Orthopaedic and Trauma. Wow, previously before I came up to him, I assisted a pure Spine surgeon together with his PA. 2 weeks after I assisted them, I was tasked to him. Thank you to the kind PA who taught me the tricks of handling a clinic.
When we first met, he seemed strict and serious-looking. The first thing he said to me was, "They gave me such a young girl? How innocent-looking you are." Yep, God knows how I look innocent.
Let's just say for a month plus I never talked to him, and vice versa. It was his regular customers, the one who had stuck by him for more than 10 years who encouraged me to talk to him. "He's a very nice man. Cute, you should try talking to him. He won't bite." It was these words that spurred me to talk to him. And she was right. Once I started opening up to him, he did the same. He really is nice, and he never raises his voice. If you do wrong, he just go hmph, but never says much. He reminds me a little of myself. Quiet, not the type to open up too much. I can see why most people are afraid to talk to him. But that's how I find myself acting as the middle person. Doctor <-> Nurse <-> Patient / Vendors
So yes, I get to know him better, and he knows all about my depression issues (The psychiatric office is just next to his) since I often have to leave the clinic for a while since the psychiatrist is only in the mornings. He was okay with it and often whenever I come back from my appointed sessions, he'll ask me whether I'm okay or whether do I need to take a break. But compared to the mess I was in last time, this is nothing.
As I prepare to go for a few days leave to relieve my stress, he wished me luck and told me to take it easy, although he made a joke, "Who's going to take care of me when you're gone?" I told him that other girls will take my place until I come back, and that he'll be fine. I settled all the appointments and OT cases and his clinic blockings, so he should be fine. The one thing that I'm not done yet is the new appointment book, which I'm only half way. Well, it could wait. ;)
  
 

Relief

Divine light pierces through the universe -

To be received, as fit, in all degrees -

in such a way that nothing can oppose.

 Canto 31, Paradiso

3rd December (Thursday) - "Girlie, you're reported to the Sister's room, now." The note says.
That's what greeted me when I first came by my department counter, scrawled in caps with blue ink.  
Oh Christ, Christ, Christ, what have I done now? What have I done? Did I do something bad??? Please don't tell me I  did something bad. I've been doing my best so far to meet up my competency but I couldn't fulfill the last two because those are only in the mornings, plus I have to run to two places, up and down. Ohhhh, what am I going to do?
With blood rushing in my ears and my heart thudding hard, I brought my competency sheets with me, swallowed the feeling of going into tears that I'm about to lose my job, I went into the Sister's room. I took a quick survey. She doesn't look mad, there's no I'm-about-to-break-you-the-bad-news kind of face, and the desk was empty. Please don't tell me I'm going to get thrown out.

 (This conversation is strictly edited for privacy and confidentiality reasons.)

Sister : How's your competency so far?
Me : (Stay calm, STAY CALM, don't show any weakness!!!!) Out of the five, I only managed to complete the ones in my current department.
Sister : What about the other two?
Me : Well, I'm often assisting Doctor So-and-So in the mornings, so I'm afraid I can't go up to find the procedures. And in the mornings, our department is full of injections, dressings, stitches to be removed and Plaster of Paris (POP) removal.
Sister : Tell me, how are you feeling now when you first started off here?
Me : (CALM, CALM, CALM!!!!) To be honest, when I first came here, I was a wreck. But now I feel that I can finally start to gain control of things.
Sister : How do you find Dr So-and-So so far?
Me : He's very kind and supportive. I like working with him very much.
Sister : I see. Well, you passed. Congratulations.
Me : Passed? (I don't remember sitting for a test.)
Sister : You are a confirmed staff.
Me : (WAIT, WHAT?!!!!!!) Confirmed? You mean permanent?
Sister : Welcome to the department. :)
Me : (The feelings that wrecked through my brain. Shock, disbelief, unbelieving, tears of joy, relief, grateful, ) W-Wow. Thank you.
Sister : Yes, it has been a hard journey for you, but you have passed through the first step, well done.

Can you believe it? All my life I thought I was a failure. I'm slow compared to others, and I can't handle overload work before I break down, I'm not the type to get noticed, but after going through the Seven Circles of Hell, I actually managed to pull through. What a shock. I nearly burst into tears right here and then, not tears of sadness, but happiness. Really? I didn't care about the bonus that was about to arrive, I actually cared more about keeping the job. Yes, that shows how crappy I am.
Only yesterday I was moaning to my psychiatrist and boss about my life going to be in ruins, but now it's as though a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I can finally be at peace and start all over again, as a full-time staff, not on probation.  
I would like to give thanks to my department colleagues who had been through with me throughout my crazy journey, my boss (Doctor So-and-So) for his support and understanding why sometimes I have to run out to the psychiatrist next door, my psychiatrist for being understanding and always telling me to take things easy instead of forcing myself, my Sisters for not giving up on me when I was a wreck, guiding me while giving me the push I needed to get through, my wonderful (not work-related) friends, local and international for bringing me out to the shopping complexes to loosen my stress, my dog Irie for loving me no matter what, and lastly to my family. You all had been so awesome throughout these months in my life, I can't give you all much but I will continue to work hard and the least I could do is dedicate and acknowledge you in my books.

Four Months Past....

2nd December (Wedensday) - It has been four months since my last update. The haze is gone, hurrah. No more masks, no more duck beaks, no more teary eyes, no more hacking cough and difficulty in breathing. Hello, sunshine, hello clear blue sky.
Many things had happened. I'm still with that spine surgeon whom I always assisted in the morning while running things in my original department in the noon. I suffered a few mood swings up and down regarding family issues, and gotten bullied verbally by some nasty patients, to the point where I was in tears til my doctor (aka boss) told me to cheer up and that I can't please everyone. He even went and tell the patient off personally cause when he got a lot of surgery and sometimes there's last minute planning. So I immediately block his clinic to prevent a lot of headaches for the patients, registration, the nurses, boss, and me (Unless it's a small case then I won't block, hence I often double check his OT booking, or double check with the OT staff). God bless, I swore I wouldn't go into tears, but the patient really gave me one hell of a bullocking, Thank goodness for nice bosses or else I might end up worse.
I been thinking, people often say my boss is scary, but I don't think so. Sure, he seems serious and quiet, but once you get to know him, you'll find out he's a really sweet guy. I admit, when I first assisted him, I was scared of him as well. And I never talked to him, seriously. Everyday was the same, hi boss, bye boss. Yep, you'll agree with me that this is exactly... no life. It was his regular patients who encouraged me to open up to him. "Your doctor is so cute, don't you want to get to know him? He's a very nice guy, you're his nurse, you should be talking to him." After a lot of consideration, they're right. Good working relationship between nurse and doctor has to be established by getting to know each other. Sure, we do talk about work sometimes, but we get to know each other lives as well. I'm still attending ongoing sessions with my psychiatrist and he was okay with it. Well, the psychiatrist session is only in the mornings,so is his, so usually I leave him a note if I'm going anywhere. Heaven knows, one man show ain't easy. But that's why I keep tons of sticky notes on my desk. He usually asks me whether I'm okay or do I need rest, I'm totally okay, except for the occasional mood swings, but I had never falter on my job, unless someone happened to be covering me and did not pass any of the important things properly. (Sticky notes, sticky notes....)
I finally plucked up the courage to tell my doctor that I write. Who would've thought? He's pretty knowledgeable about eBooks and Youtube. Uh huh. He went, "Hello? Youtube? You can learn a lot from it." Yep, how to pick locks and wearing yukata, tying an obi belt, zumba workout and illustration sketching, you just have to use it the right way,
Whenever I go back to my original department during noon time, most of my regular patients for dressing usually asked what happened to me. Well, since I'm upstairs assisting my boss in the mornings, I can't usually run off, someone has got to man the fort, if you know what I mean.The amount of patients who walk in were unbelievable. I don't mind walk ins, but it couldn't hurt to at least give a call, since my boss is super busy, I just go with the flow.
December is finally here, which means Christmas. Yeah! I already decorated my boss's clinic with a tiny Christmas tree to get into the festive season. No point getting a big one cause our clinic is not that big, and an absolute waste of money to buy a huge one if you are going to put it out once every year. So a tiny one will do, I can even re-use it back for Chinese New Year next February. I really got to start bucking up my folding skills. 
 

Haze-y Problem

15th September (Tuesday) - Oh, I don't feel too good. I entered to work when my doctor took one look at me and went, "What happened to you?" when he saw my teary eyes, constant blowing my nose and my zombie-like face. I showed him the view outside. If you've been checking on the news, you'll see that the haze is getting worse. The outside view when I peer through from my clinic's room was so misty. Usually I'll be able to see the skyscrapers and buildings in their gleaming steel and chrome glory, but not today. Everything is obscured by the grey fog, not to mention the stinging smell of the haze. We are all forced To wear a mask whenever we go out now. No fun.
Due to several last minute changes as well, I was shunted from one clinic to another for deployment. Best part: They're all orthopaedic specialists (bones), and I had handled them many times, so I do know how to call for MRI booking and etc., thanks to the guidance of their personal assistant. But I do wish the neighbouring clinic assistant quit pestering on how I handle things. I know her intentions are good, but for goodness sake, I have my own flow and system. See, the thing is when the doctor I'm handling say he wants to take leave, I want to make sure he signs his consultant leave form first before I proceed to changing all my patients appointments, because what happened was previously my doctor said he wanted a certain date to take leave, and you know what happened? Instead of going on a whole day leave, he took half day. Oh my goodness, but thank God I shifted the morning appointments to another day cause he took morning off. This clinic assistant often comes in and interfere my system, which I sometimes get frustrated. I usually put my papers in front of me so that I don't panic on where to find them if my doctor needs it, but she goes on and on about how messy my papers are. How can they be messy when I stack them neatly on my counter top? And don't get me started on how I write my notes. I usually make important notes on my appointment book in red ink so that whoever takes over the clinic will be alert over the note I put. But do you know what happened? She straight away complained to the manager and I got in serious trouble. Since my clinic handling skills are trained from another assistant, she was pulled in for questioning for well. Oh, how could she- Fortunately, no one gotten into serious trouble since I followed her style since it was simple to handle clinics that way. And I checked with the other clinic assistants, red inks are allowed to make your own notes, but NOT for legal documents. Grrr. And it did not stop there.
There was a 2 hour drama involving a patient of mine, because of her GL (guarantee/insurance letter) not being approved due to some misunderstanding at business office side. And the terrible part was the registration girl called me and told me, "Do NOT let the patient see the doctor because her GL isn't approved." IN FRONT OF HER FACE (!!!!) Oh dear, the patient went berserk and yelled at her, and because she was already boiling, she took her anger out on me to, calling stupid, useless, no brains etc etc. Since she was furious, all I could do was keep apologizing, telling her I had no idea how did this happen, since the GL was out of my hand. The assistant next door overheard the commotion (nooooo) and she checked her records, claiming that the ward nurse got things wrong and she should go back to her doctor (NOOOOOO). Hoo-boy, did the patient let her have it. I winced and was sandwiched in between the two brawling off. You see, the patient had already told me her story: She was under that doctor in the ward, but because of her back problem, she was referred to my doctor, hence he is her primary doctor. But the assistant kept insisting it was the ward nurse who is wrong, which caused the patient to yell "SHUT UP!!! YOU JUST SHUT UP RIGHT NOW!!!" Ahhhh, I fell like hiding under my table until the whole commotion is over.
The assistant finally left, and it was down to me to pick up the mess. The patient ended up crying and I had to comfort her, offering her cups of cold water and get tissues for her. Bless her, it wasn't her fault, but something along the way gotten screwy. I literally called my doctor and have to beg him to come and see her since she insisted on seeing him, and thank God, in the end the insurance was approved, so she was all happy again. but not before grabbing the customer feedback form on the way to write about the awful service she had (Uh oh).
So yeah, it was rotten at first, but in the end all's well ends well.
And good news: The story that you all had been waiting for is finally out! Chronicles of the Blitz: Awaken is out on sale on createspace.com. Three cheers. Hurray. You can click on the link on the side of my blog for details. I hope you all will support it, and thanks so much for following me on my crazy blogging adventure :D

Deja Vu

There are people who slap their novels all over the Internet, begging other people to read them.

But I can't do that. I don't know why. Except...

Well, I know why : I'm afraid Tina - not to mention Michael, or J.P., or whoever, really - might not like it.

Just like every single publisher I've sent it to hasn't like it. Well, except AuthorPress. 

But they want me to pay THEM to publish it! REAL publishers are supposed to pay YOU!!

- Forever Princess by Meg Cabot, page 31, HarperTeen, An imprint of HarperCollins Publishers  

8th September (Tuesday) - I haven't been up lately, which is no surprise since I'm now back to writing my third novel and couldn't be more thrilled. My mind is bursting with ideas and whenever I'm back from work, I turn on my Microsoft Word and BANG, my fingers start flying around the keyboard in supersonic speed. Forget about dinner, I'm on a roll. And it usually takes people to call me several time before I come back to the real world. 

So yesterday I sent out an email to a publishing house recommended by a friend (No names are allowed due to confidentiality) and when I'm handling my doctor's clinic, I got this international phone call and I went, "Wait a minute, this can't be real. I just sent out the email yesterday." Seeing as this phone call was persistent, while I was free, I answered the phone call. Surprise, surprise, it was the people whom I sent the email to. After a few Q & A, they liked my story (Okay, good sign, good sign...) then to finalize getting a publishing deal, I have to pay them a publishing package for 2 books, equivalent to five grand, which means I have to slave three months to pay. 

Wait, hold on to your seahorses, this isn't right. It sounds too good to be true. I pay the full amount, I get back twenty five percent for paperbacks and fifty percent on ebooks. I'm no mathematics genius, so I called up a few friends who are good at crunching numbers, and when they made the calculations, you'll be very surprised how much I earn back. Not those four figures, but less. A friend of mine who is a property agent basically said it sounds rubbish, not a good investment at all. I recalled the above lines from Meg Cabot's best-selling Princess Diaries, and what she said is true. We writers slaved all over our manuscript, at the very least, we should get back our money's worth for goodness sake. It's a good thing I have lulu.com to market my book. 

And now back to writing. 

Funny Moments I

20th August (Thursday) - Sorry for being on a long hiatus. Currently work is a little hectic due to lack of manpower, which means all of us have to work doubly, triple hard to keep our positions. And whatever free time I had after work, I channel it into my writing and drawing.
People often laugh at me for being in the outpatient department, but you'll be surprised how many dramas I had encountered for the past few months. I'll list out whatever I could remember. (Certain conversations are edited due to privacy and confidentiality.)

1. During dressing

Patient : Nurse, could you please go slow?
Me : Okay. How slow do you want?
Patient : Pain free as possible.
Me : Sir, you do know there will be a little pain.
Patient : Ahhhh, nurse, could you do me a favour and knock me out with those sedation stuff that they use on TVs?
Me : Sir, if I do that you'll most likely end up in Operating Theatre. And we're not allowed to administer them.
Patient : Oh...
Me : Please relax. There's nothing to worry about. I'll go extra slow if that's what you want...
Patient : Okay. AHHHHH. AHHHHH. OWWWW.
Me : Sir, sir, there's nothing much I need to do. Your wound is really clean, just a little blood, but no pus and dead skin. And I'm not pressing hard like you requested. I'm just using soak gauze to absorb the blood, see?
Patient : But it's painful...
Me : Of course it's a little painful, I'm using salt water. How did you get your injury anyway? Did you get a blister?
Patient : It was an infected wart.
Me : Oh... You know, when I used to practice karate, I had a lot of blisters too.
Patient : Oh my. Really?
Me : Uh huh.
Patient : Did you go for surgery?
Me : Ehhh, no. All I had to do was poke the water out and let the blister heal.
Patient : Did it hurt?
Me : Well, if you peel the skin, then yes. But somehow I feel as though I was walking on mushrooms.
Patient : Yeah, mushrooms. :D
Me : Okay, your gauze are all fixed and I tightened the bandage a little so that you don't have to worry about it coming loose. Remember not to get it wet when you shower.
Patient : Thank you. And... mushrooms.
Me : ^^

2. During STO

Patient : Hello, leng lui. (Pretty girl in Cantonese)
Me : Um, hello.
Patient : You Vietnam?
Me : Me, no.
Patient : China?
Me : No.
Patient : Singapore? Japan? Korea? Brunei?
Me : Nooooo.
Patient : Then what are you?
Me : Malaysian.
Patient : You're joking.
Me : No, I'm not. I'm a pure Malaysian.
Patient : You don't look Malaysian, girl.
Me : I get that a lot. (You will be surprised how many times I get asked this question over and over again)
Patient : So what are you going to do for me, leng lui?
Me : Remove your stitches, of course.
Patient : Can't I keep the stitches on?
Me : Sir, there's a risk of infection if you keep them on too long, and it's non-absorbable.
Patient : Please don't let it be painful.
Me : Don't worry sir, it'll be quick.

*Doctor came in, checked his post-stitches wound, and left*

Patient : That's it?
Me : Uh huh. That's it.
Patient : Are you married?
Me : Nooooo.
Patient : Boyfriend?
Me : Still single.
Patient : A pretty girl like you should get a doctor. They just come and go and money goes into their pocket, just like that.
Me : Sir, all the doctors here are old, and taken.
Patient : Can't be, girl. I met some young ones when I was in the ward. I'll pray that you find a nice doctor who'll appreciate you.
Me ; Uh, sir, I don't think I'll end up with a doctor.
Patient : Want me to find one handsome young one for you?
Me : Ummm, no thanks.

3. Taking care of a clinic

Patient came in late, doctor was not in his clinic.

Me : May I help you?
Patient : Yes, I got an appointment with Dr So-and-So.
Me : You do realize that you're an hour and forty five minutes late right?
Patient : No, I don't know.
Colleague : Had you done your blood test?
Patient : What blood test?
Colleague : The blood test that you need to do before seeing Dr So-and-So.
Patient : Don't know.
Colleague : *shoots me a look to stay quiet* When you discharge from the ward, did they give you a form for blood test on arrival?
Patient : Don't know.
Me : Which ward were you in, miss?
Patient : Don't know.
Colleague : *veins tightening* Okay, well, here's the form, now go and do the blood test at the lab. Hurry.
Patient : Okay.

After she had left and came back from the lab...

Colleague : Kiddo, call Dr So-and-So.
Me : Oh man, oh man, he's going to shoot us.
Colleague : You have to call him, otherwise he'll run off to Hospital A and then he'll go ballistic. Besides, it's the patient who came late.
Me : Ahhhhh.
Colleague : Come on, kiddo. Call him.
Me ; Okay, what's his phone number?
Colleague : Just call the operator and they'll connect you to his phone. Don't worry. Just listen to what I say. Hello, Dr, sorry to disturb you. Calling from your clinic, the patient just came and done her blood test. I'll let you know once the results are ready. Got it?
Me : Okay. Here goes. *After muttering our prayers, I dial the operator and got connected*

Me : H-Hello? Dr So-and-So?
Doctor : Yes? Yes? What is it?!
Me : Sorry to disturb you. Calling from your clinic, you got one more patient. Miss So-and-So, just came and just done her blood test-
Doctor : WHAT THE HELL?!!!!! WHY DID SHE COME SO LATE?!!! (At this point, I flinched away from the phone to let him yell out his anger. Once he had cooled down, I put the phone back to my ear) Alright, alright, I'll see her.
Me : I'll let you know once the results are ready.
Doctor : Fine! Fine! Goodbye!
Me : Thank you, doctor, goodbye.
Colleague : What did he say?
Me : What the hell...
Colleague : It could've been worst.
Me ; At least he isn't really shouting at me.
Colleague : True...

4. During registration...

Me : Good morning, sir. Which doctor are you looking for?
Patient : No idea. I just came for a scope
Me : Oh, you're under Doctor So-and-So. He's currently on leave.
Patient : I know.
Me : Did he refer you to any doctor?
Patient : No idea.
Me : Doctor A?
Patient : No idea.
Me : Doctor B?
Patient : No idea.
Me : Doctor C?
Patient : No idea.
Me ; *sighs* I'll go and check with the PAs. Have a seat, sir. I'll be back to attend to you shortly.

After running one round throughout the entire clinic...

Me : Sir, I can give you Doctor A, he can do the scope for you. Is it okay?
Patient : Sure.

After register...

Patient : Miss, I got this letter with me in my pocket. Do you want it?
Me : .......... (You made me run one big circle and all this time you have the referral letter in your POCKET???) Sure. *opens the letter and feel like slamming my head on the table, Doctor A name is written in bold on the top* (FOR GOD'S SAKE) Oh, good thing I registered you under Doctor A cause your doctor gave you his name.
Patient : Oh...
Me : *sighs* Okay, take this to the clinic and you're all set. Thank you.

After he had left...

Colleague : Kiddo, that guy is really blur.
Me : Uh huh. Can't believe I ran one big round and all this time he got the letter with him.
Colleague :*jokingly* Next time, ask him if he remember to wear his pants.
Me : Huh? Why?
Colleague : If he can't remember anything, then he wouldn't remember to wear his pants.
Me : Oh. OH....
Colleague : You get my joke?
Me : Yep, yep. I get it. *mutters* Pants...

That's all for now.

August A-Coming

1st August (Saturday) - Well you look at that. In just a blink of an eye and we're already in August. It has nearly been a month that I'm posted in ground floor and I've grown so much since then. True my aesthetic training doesn't help out much with dressings and sutures, but when it comes to scars, and the patient couldn't clear it with the scar cream, then all that is left is me suggesting to them to go to the plastic surgeon.
Of course with Bon Odori coming next month, I am now trying to go on a diet to reduce my waist line. I'm telling you, no matter what I do, hula hoops, push ups, sit ups, using the gym balls for stretching, zumba, abdomen crunches, going on a carb-free diet, none is helping. Urgh, waist line toning is the toughest. Many of my male friends got their abs through protein shakes, lean meats and such. I don't eat beef, venison, lamb and such, so I have to resort to oats, high fibre and protein diet, which includes replacing my meals with oats, chlorophyll and lemon water. Uh-huh, no joke. Ever since I joined the aesthetic girls, they taught me that besides exercising, diet is also very important. And I'm determined to control my stubborn waistline.
A doctor shared with me that when he was a kid, he had never wanted to sleep, preferring to stay up late at night. Confession : I used to too, especially reading. I'm a bookworm, through and through. Give me a book and I'll be a happy person. Most of my salary are spent on books. But now that I'm a full-fledged working adult, I now realize the importance of sleep. No sleep = no fuel = no mood = unable to work happy. I guess my friend was right, about how when we were once young we tend to do silly things.
With the senior staffs busy dealing with their errands, I now have to shoulder the office tasks, such as registering patients, filing in folders, faxing prescriptions, fixing the photocopier if it jams, topping up our sticker labels etc etc. I'm a little on the slow side, but I was able to do it after a week worth of practice.
And as for my story, it's still going on, full speed ahead. Stay tuned for more posts or updates from me. And as I finished writing this post, it's already past midnight. Hence it's officially 2nd August. Happy birthday to me, going a year older and hopefully a year wiser.