Stockholm Syndrome

I won't stand in your way

Let your hatred grow

And she'll scream

And she'll shout

And she'll pray

And she had a name

Yeah she had a name

And I won't hold you back

Let your anger rise

And we'll fly

And we'll fall

And we'll burn

No one will recall

No one will recall

This is the last time I'll abandon you

And this is the last time I'll forget you

I wish I could

Muse - Stockholm Syndrome, 14th July 2003, Mushroom,

Produced by Rich Costey, Muse

Stockholm Syndrome : Also known as capture-bonding. A psychological phenomenon in which hostages express empathy and sympathy and have positive feelings towards their captors, sometimes to the point of defending and identifying with the captors. These feelings are generally considered irrational in light of the danger or risk endured by the victims, who essentially mistake a lack of abuse from their captors for an act of kindness.  (Wikipedia, 17th November 2010)

31st December (Wednesday) - It's the end of the year, and what a year it has been. Now I'm close to entering my fifth month of working, although with that inches thick of negative comments, I fear it is impossible to get positive feedbacks to outweigh the negative ones. Although these days when I'm not paired with the mean seniors, I actually feel light in my soul, unless you count some really mean profs, but I rarely see them. Thank heavens (But I'll definitely see them one way or another if their patients arrive).

Still not much patients since it's the end of the year, and with the school breaks being extended to another week due to the floods. And the horrible news of the AirAsia plane finally being found in the deep depths. Good gracious, here in Malaysia we already had a lot of aviation incidents, from missing airplanes, to being shot down in a heavily fired war-zone, and foreign boats sinking, like the one in Korea and most recently, somewhere near Greece (If I'm not mistaken). Things that never happens are all happening when we least expect it. My dad even jokingly once mentioned that it's like Titanic happening all over again.

Work is just like normal, we got two children coming in. One is alright, but the other, she had genetic problems, which means there's only one prof who is an expert in genetic problems in children. HIM. Oh God, not him. He's the type of prof whom I labelled as perfectionist. I followed him once, as a lowly new staff who does not know anything about him. He basically gave me a major bullocking, but not to the point where he chased me out of the room which he did to the other girl, leading to the point where another junior but with more experience to take over. He love to ask, "Do you know what you are doing? If you don't, then get out." "Why is everywhere full of useless junior girls?! I want senior girls." "Tell me what are all these tubes for." Not easy to handle him, I was having a really bad cough to the point where I swallowed one Prednisolone tab and drag myself to work. The good news, I did not cough like mad during work, or in front of the patients. But because the prof demanded a third person to come and help him, what could I do but put on a mask and ran in. Thank God I'm used to him after that first time. So when he asked me to get the bottles ready, I got all the vacuum tube ready as he pierced the child with a butterfly needle and get the blood filled, but because three more bottles weren't enough, he tossed the butterfly needle aside and used what he calls an open bottle technique. So once I got all the vacuum tubes all opened and ready, he pricked the child with a needle and we managed to get enough blood drops into the bottle. Whew, close save. At least he isn't pissed, although I answered all of his questions wrong since I never read the notes. Yes, the colours for each specific tests are correct, but for his case it's a child. At least he isn't pissed as my friend shook her head and answered him since she prepared a list beforehand after I warned her his personality. Sigh... At least I hope he isn't going to go "I want senior girls only" cause we manage a good job, although we'll need a total of three people to assist him.

In a way, going to work is like survival, like Stockholm Syndrome, minus the whole captors kidnapped stuff. Cause I ended up getting slammed but had to swallow it down. And according to some people, I was defending the people who had slammed me because I refuse to bring matters up to the Head. Whatever, it's the end of the year, so let's just wipe the slate clean and begin the journey anew.

Thanks prof for the pamelo. :D

Muse - Stockholm Syndrome : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gXN9acC9edU