Blackheart

19th December (Friday) - Sick, sick, sick I tell you. I stepped into work to get yelled at for yesterday's incident. It was past 9 when the OT called, and I got a call, asking me to pick my patient back up. Past 9 means that, in a way, it's the end for noon shift so we will pass over to the night shift girls to handle things from there on, but what happened? I was yelled for mainly costing the patient money for OT charges. Not cause of the safety or something. What on God's earth- Oh, and they yelled at me  some more that as long as the report is being passed on, you are still on duty, which means GET THE PATIENT UP HERE OR ELSE!!!! My dad who works in the hospital told me that in most places, when the shift already ends and reports are being passed on, the nurses usually pass the next shift the patients so that they don't have to stay back for hours to finish handling the patients. Because as everyone know, we are a 24 hour service job. If they insist like that, won't the current shift people have to do more work and the next shift get to relax with no job to do besides the usual? And then in the end no one will be able to go back back because of the "Hey, you, can you do this...? That...?" "Fill all of these up..." "Finish the whole procedure first..." Which is how I used to feel as a student. I always complete my work first before leaving, this is call responsibility, for goodness sake. I never leave my work hanging, well, most of the time, unless the situation becomes so busy and I became side tracked, but nevertheless, I will get it done.
And things started going downhill. The lovely lady who had helped me (insisted on helping) to fix the id bands for future admissions went down for her breakfast, and came back with large carrier bags of doughnuts. Chocolate coated, topped with chocolate or rainbow sprinkles, a dash of icing cream, with sprinkled nuts on another. Since it was only wrapped in plastic and not in packaging, I grabbed my patient's folders, doughnut in one hand, careful not to spill any chocolate coatings on the documents, I wrote at full speed while munching on the doughnut. Of course, the senior girls started yelling at me cause they thought I was taking break. Well, what about them? Eating on their doughnuts and yet no one complained. And anyway, the doughnut can't be kept cause it's in plastic, not in a container or zipper bag. Would you want to eat air-infected doughnuts???
Then I got a young patient diagnosed with terminal cancer who is on pigtail drainage.had his dressing soaked with pleural fluids and blood, but does anyone want to do his dressing? No, I have to be the one who armed myself with the dressing set and thoroughly soaked cotton balls to get all the dried blood, fluid and iodine out. And with the patient in agony, the slightest movement makes him gasp in pain to the point where he had regular morphine. Poor guy. I did my best to help him though, give him some comfort at least. It did not help with his family all chanting the Amithaba mantra non-stop when I entered his room to top up his drips.
Then my other patient, a cute baby girl who's such a doll. ^.^ On and off I checked up on her to make sure she's okay. On the last feeding before fasting, I assisted the mother on the last feeding, make sure the baby is okay. Once done, I set up the drip and start the fasting. Okay. At least something is going my way.
This is getting depressing. Who would've thought when people get nasty? Some people actually have blackened heart. They take up the knife and run it through your spine to save their own skins, and just when you thought you could share some of your secrets with them, they turn the secrets against you. I don't think death can be much cruel compared to having your spine rip out of your back by the people who are close to you. D: