Breaking Mentality

10th December (Wednesday) - I swear, whether it be medical staff or Layman, I still get nervous about meeting with doctors. Well, who wouldn't? Couldn't sleep a wink last night. After making sure that I haven't left all of my important stuff behind, I went to the clinic for my check up.
Trouble ensues when I arrived for registration, the people are insisting on me to get to the MO first. She's the nice girl that I met the other day and she's confused because:

1. I was already screened for check up.
2. My appointments are fixed and in queue.
3. My conditions were already fixed, so there's no need to see her.


Whaaat? I was held up at the registration counter for a wild goose chase. Oh, how my blood boils, but whatever, I'll let it pass as long as the two profs aren't going to chew my head off. Okay, it started off like normal. The boy whom joined the same time as I did... well, I met him and he's now the ENT prof's nurse. The prof, who was bent over my folder, took a look at me and gave me a friendly smile, "Well, well, well, and I was thinking who's my last patient. Nice to see you after a long time, yes?" Ahhh, he still remembered me even though we met briefly in the elevators, when I just came and am still wearing blue shirt. I was going off duty that day after my clerk job when he came rushing in with me and started talking to me. Okay, he even told the story of how we first met to his nurse, who's laughing. Well, if you think about it, it's rather funny, how he kept trying to know me in the lift. The whole clinical session went like this :

(The conversation is slightly edited and is a little exaggerated for comedy effect. Don't take it to heart. All names are highly confidential.)

Prof : So, long time no see.
Me : Yeah, it's been a while.
Prof : What brings you here today?
Me : Um, I've been having problems with my nose. I can't seem to smell well these past few weeks, since I joined. And I can't seem to smell the soap I'm using.
Prof : Okay, just sit here.

*after a few minutes*

Prof : Okay, this is rather odd.
Me : What's odd? Is my nose blocked or something?
Prof : No, but well, the anatomy is weird.
Me : Whaaaat?
Prof : I'll show you.

*another few minutes later*

Prof : See what I mean? Your nose muscles are smooth, but it looks inflammed. And there's some blood inside. Did any blood came out when you blow your nose?
Me : Nope. All clear.
Prof : Have you been done any surgery before?
Me : Only my eyes.
Prof : Has the doctor ever cut...well, your nose muscles by accident?
Me : O.O Whaaaat? No!
Prof : Have you ever been infected with a viral infection before?
Me : Um, dengue I guess. A year ago.
Prof : Not recently, is it?
Me : Nope.
Prof : Well, dengue sometimes do affect the nose muscles. Another would be stress. Have you checked your thyroid?
Me : Nope. What's wrong with my thyroid?
Prof : Sometimes your thyroid goes haywire and you may end up getting inflammation.
Me : Oh my God, oh my GOD....
Prof : Nothing to worry about. I'll just give you some medicines and you can take the steam inhaler while you're at it.
Me : Oh my God, you mean the one where you put in hot water and breathe the vapour in?
Prof : That's the one. I'll give you the menthol crystals.
Me : (Dear God, what have I gotten myself into???)
Prof : Tell me something, why do you always look stressed?
Me : Um, because I am used to it.
Prof : People usually get stressed for two reasons. Either it's because of relationship issues or family problems. Did I get it right?
Me : (Mother of God, he's GOOD. He just struck big in the lottery, most people always say that I'm cold and doom and gloom type, but he's on the few who can see past my face.) I say you just struck the lottery, prof.
Prof : I knew it. Why? Your parents giving you so much pressure?
Me : My family to be exact. Everything I do, they are never happy. Most of my friends are telling me to run away to overseas or out of home.
Prof : I got two options for you. Singapore or marriage.
Me : ......Prof, I don't have a boyfriend.
Prof : Well, just make sure you get the right guy, so don't worry about Singapore. Marriage is good enough.
Me : Um, okay, if you say so.
Prof : You better go for Dr A and Dr B if you can.
Me : Dr A??? B sounds familiar. *gasp* The psychiatrists???
Prof : Not to say that you are crazy, but just for counselling. You always look so stressed. Didn't anybody told you that?
Me : Some of my colleagues, the patients and profs.
Prof : Precisely what I mean. You should be like me.
Me : (Huh?)
Prof : Don't talk about facts all the time. You should just hang around, do your job while making jokes and chat with your colleagues and friends. Time will go by in a breeze and you'll fell so much relaxed instead of burning out.
Me : Yeah, you do have a point, prof.
Prof : *glances at my skin* Oh my, look at your skin. They're so red. Are you feeling cold?
Me : Everyone says whenever I feel cold, my skin tuns red.
Prof : You have vaso-constriction.
Me : What? I thought it was just my body reaction to the cold.
Prof : No. It's vaso-constriction. I can assure you. Your blood vessels constrict when you're cold and that's why your skin becomes red. You can't work in cold places like the OT.
Me : (OH MY GOD, COULD IT BE TRUE??? There goes my career, no more air-conds, no more freezing cold workplaces for me anymore)
Prof : You better go, Prof. C is waiting for you, isn't he?
Me : (Mind in a half state of shock) Ye-yes, you're right.
Prof : Which ward are you working in again?
Me : Ward D.
Prof : Okay, I'll see you in the ward in a weeks' time. I don't want you running all the way to the clinic. Pity you. I'll come and find you. Get the clerk to call me and let me know.
Me : Um, okay. You sure you don't want me to come over to the clinic?
Prof : No need. I prefer to see you in the ward, easier that way.

*The original conversation is actually much longer, but if I give the full conversation, word by word, it'll never end.*


I can't believe this. That prof is GOOD, seriously. Just by going for what looks like a basic check up, I got all sorts of problem in me already. My whole world seems to be crashing down. Even with the Gatro prof, he examined my stomach and I nearly screamed, it HURTS. That's when I was suggested to do a scope for my stomach to rule out the diagnosis.
I came to the ward early and stared at my medicines with dread. Menthol crystals, nasal spray, and two types of medicines, all of it I have to take twice a day. I feel like screaming but there's nothing I can do against the tide that's pushing me off path but to just flow with it.
Even during work, I was still in a state of shock, but even so,  I followed some doctors in their rounds and get yelled. One doctor shouted at me cause of the claimant insurance form, which the Sister has to explain to both of us since I'm not familiar with insurances yet. And then I prepared a trolley for abdominal tapping and assisted the prof together with a senior girl. He makes me run for odd stuff, like size 0 sutures and surgical scalpel blades because we only got stitch cutters. God, I ran like crazy and got the items he wanted and heaved a sigh of relief as he did not shout but just waited patiently for me to come back with the proper items.
If you think that's bad, just wait til you hear this. The parents of a child whom had stayed for five days in a row were shouting at me and my senior since we were both at the counter because of the ridiculous parking fee rate and kept demanding to know who is the person in charge of the building. Sorry, how would we know who's in charge of the parking? We could only advised him to just please fill the customer feedback form and grumbling.
I prepared a trolley for NG insertion but the prof was in a bad mood to the point he snapped at me as I prepared the things for him. Well, couldn't blame him. The child he's taking care of is traumatized by nurses and doctors. From the time we took our report, he screamed and screamed 'bloody murder' as though we are torturing him until everyone, including the next ward could hear him clearly. And when I tried to take his vital signs, he screamed and kicked and punched me and ran away. Urgh, looks like I don't have a choice but to comply to the father's wishes to just let it go.
After taking a patient from OT back to the ward, my shift comes to an end. How much more of this can I take? I have no idea.