Strangers => Haters

6th October (Thursday) - On the previous day, I've spoken to one of the doctor's personal assistant. We took care of my old doctor before, and she gave me a wan smile. "This year's patients are the worst." And I agreed with her. The majority of this year is awful. I've been hurtled abuses and insults by patients, threatened, some had tried taking videos and photos, which my doctors had to intervene, since I noticed whenever I explained to patients regarding the no photos no videos policy, they don't take me seriously until my doctors step in.
Because we were short on staff, 6 people on medical leave, I had to cover other clinic, in this case, a cardiology clinic. I assisted a cardiothoracic surgeon, who used to be next door to my old doctor. Cardiologist, no, it's my first time. I thought it was like assisting the cardiothoracic surgeon, how wrong I was. For one thing, she order plenty of tests. ECHO, ECG Stress Test, PT and INR blood tests. I wasn't familiar with the proceedings, so I actually had to call and asked about the procedure. Stress test and ECHO, takes about 30 minutes each. Reporting takes an hour. And stress test needs a consent. PT and INR, takes roughly thirty minutes to an hour depending on complications, but because that day the the machine went a little faulty, I ended up more than waiting two hours for the results. And that day was nuts. A lot of patients walked in, and cardiac patients definitely need folders. And with most of them walking means folders come in late, which means wait, and wait and waaait. In between many patients called me for requests such as wanting to know their blood results, prescriptions to be extended, wanting to speak to my doctor (''It's urgent''), the usual stuff. I should also mention that the clinic was also my old doctor's clinic, so there were a lot of phone calls coming in. "Hi, I would like to make an appointment to see Dr So-and-So." And I will go, "I'm terribly sorry. He has moved to another clinic a year ago. Let me transfer you over to his line./ I'm sorry, his line is currently busy. Let me give you his extension and room number. Thank you, have a nice day."
Perhaps the worst scenario was an agent from outstation called. He was very unpleasant right from the start. I barely got pass, "Hi, good morning, Dr-" when he blasted me with verbal abuses, claiming that he had called from two weeks ago, that he had couriered and email his client's insurance to the hospital, and someone had promised to follow up with him. See, this clinic doesn't have a fix person, so you can imagine the insults and shoutings he threw at me. "WHAT KIND OF STUPID HOSPITAL IS THIS?" "I'M GOING TO BRING YOUR DOCTOR AND YOU TO COURT, AND TO THE MEDIA, I'LL MAKE SURE I TARNISH YOUR NAME, GIVING SUCH A LOUSY SERVICE." Oh yes. I've been f**ked, sh*ted, cursed to rot in Hell, but never once was I cursed to go to court and the media. Of course, the cardiologist I worked with was really pissed off til she refused to entertain him, only to give him the number of the person whom he should talk to regarding his insurance instead of hurling all sort of threats at us.
We got our justice thirty minutes later when the insurance supervisor called. Apparently, his colleague had emailed and couriered the things over. They didn't receive any courier package, but they did received an email. When they asked him for the proof of payment slip, he went, "What slip?" And that's when the supervisor found out he had not made any payment, hence his request was unable to be processed, and his colleague had never kept him up to date regarding this or the payment. Oh yes, he made a mistake at his side, yet he had shouted insults and threats to my doctor and I. The supervisor advised him to apologise to us, whom we both had been hurt and saddened by his nasty insults and threats. Unsurprisingly, he did not. Well, this certainly taught me a good experience. Never ever throw hotshot threats and insults until you have thoroughly checked your side of the story. ;)
Strangers had come up to me asking why am I working as a clinic nurse. "You could earn so much more as a ward nurse. Clinic nurse is a stupid job. Anyone could do it." Well, I'm sorry to say. Who are you to judge me? My friend had it worst. She was a doctor's personal secretary for more 5 years, and the guy made a remark. "You have no future with this kind of job. You should be a nurse. Your pay will be much higher than what you are earning now." Now, I know he's trying to give suggestions but the way he says it is as though our jobs are useless. To tell you the truth, there is no such thing as a 'useless' job in the world. People laughed at me for writing novels, but it's what I love. And I balance it with my full time paying job. I don't interfere my nursing job with my writing, only when I'm off duty, back home, that's when I'll do my writing. My friend is a degree holder in mass communications, and she was pretty ticked with that stranger's remark. I sometimes really wonder what kind of a world are we living in...
Today I went to buy some food late at night to get the half-price off, and this guy, whom I have no idea who, made a remark on how I will get fat from eating all the stone cold carbo. I politely told him I'm going to refrigerate it, then air-fry it to get rid the excess oils and eat it fresh hot for breakfast. Instead he turned down his nose and said, "Stupid girl. Everyone knows air-frying is a useless invention. You might as well steam those food you're eating." I only shake my head, made my purchase, and brought the food home. And can you guess what the guy bought? Thick gravy chicken with rice, and yes, you guessed it, at half price.
I'm going home now, take my juice, and throw myself to sleep. This has certainly been a whacked out day.  

Disrespect

3rd October (Monday) - Not a very good start to a new month. Patients and doctors (not all of them) alike are shouting at us from all sides. I got the worst of it cause I'm the most junior and most soft one.These few days I've been pretty much going, "Why me?????" Not that it matters, since there is no such thing as innocent proven guilty anymore. It all started from one of his difficult patient. A lady who is in her fifties, she had a total knee replacement done. It has been more than a month and she still can't walk, only ambulate in a wheelchair. I tried giving her the benefit of doubt from her first day doing dressing under me. And let me tell you this, she always complains that she's in pain, cannot move. And her daughter who always accompanies her, she really takes the cake. She really has that arrogant look in her face, Every time she comes, she expects us to run after her like a queen. She couldn't even be bothered to push her mother in the wheelchair. When her mother complaints of pain and couldn't move, I had to single-handedly carry her over to the bed, and it's no easy feat because the patient wouldn't help herself. And the daughter...stood at the side, playing with her phone while looking at me with that look. "My God, you're not strong. Can you even manage to carry my mother?" Well, most of my patients has families who willingly helped us, spouses, children, siblings, girl or boyfriends, caregivers... They all helped us as we support one side and they the other. It really ticks me off when she says that. And she always complains about everything. Seriously, she will be hovering by your side, going, "Why is the incision not straight? What an awful cut." (You think I'm the one who did the surgery? Ask the doctor please.)"You didn't clean properly. There's still a lot of black stuff all over it." (Those are all old blood clots and scabs. If I keep forcing it out, your mom will start bleeding again.) "Physiotherapy? The doctor never say anything about physio." The last statement really make my blood tick. I've assisted orthopaedics surgeon for a long time, and I know that after any surgery, there will always be a post-op physio, especially for those involving your limbs. Spine? Yes, there's also physio for spine strengthening along with corset or bracing, depending how severe the case is. And you can imagine, it has been more than a month and the lady still cannot walk. No surprise there. I had seen many elderly, some as old as seventy whom undergone total knee/hip/ spine surgery, and they can walk, some with ambulatory aid, some without. Cause they all went for regular physio as per the doctor orders. My own aunt who is sixty plus underwent total knee replacement twice, and she can walk without crutches after two weeks. Even though the wound is long dry, the daughter kept demanding me to cover the wound. She claimed that it is to protect the wound from infection, and then she nagged me, "Don't you know anything? Leaving the wound open is bad, cover it up." Okay, you win. I'm really tired of you shooting all of my help down. She'll be back around this month and I pray hard that she doesn't come to the treatment room. We might go nuts just from her alone.
And it was one of those days where we are super busy. With just the two of us, and two doctors who needed the treatment room the most, my friend and I took one each. She will handle Doctor B while I handle Doctor A. Between us two, we managed to run our patients smoothly. While I was waiting for my doctor to come to review his patients, Doctor B came up to me at the counter and he wasn't happy.

Doctor : Where are my patients?
Me : Room 2 with my friend.
Doctor : Who is in Room 1?
Me : Doctor A's patient.
Doctor : I want the first room.
Me : Doctor, I'm sorry but I can't give you the first room, cause Doctor A is using it.
Doctor : Oh, I get it. You respect him, but you don't respect me. I followed the queue, so why did you bypass my patients?
Me : My friend is handling your patients.
Doctor : I don't care. Give me the first room.
Me : I'm sorry.
Doctor : *Gave me a dirty look and walked back into his room*

My friend came out after our cashier told us the story. She sighed and told me same thing happened to her, except the doctor demanded why they trained me like that. And my friend defended me, saying that I was only following the procedure. And we were kind to give him the second room, all just for him. The first room I'm using, I'm sharing it with seven doctors. If I had complied to his request, I will get seven doctors jumping at my throat. So yeah. Ever since then, he had always taken his anger out on me.
Recently on Friday, his girl caused me to land in hot waters. The doctor came out and asked me why I didn't call his patient. My friend and I can only stare blankly at him, because his girl never gave us any sticker, so how would we know who to call? So she hurriedly gave me the first sticker, an eighty-something old lady. Scanning my patients, I only saw one lady that fits the age description, When I called her name, the doctor glared at me and shouted, "WRONG PATIENT!" What the- I doubled check with the patient, and she said yes, that's her name, Yes, her IC was right, but the doctor was fuming. Turns out his girl gave me the wrong sticker, and when I tried to explain my mistake, he brushed me off with a glare and said, "I don't want to hear your excuses." Then his girl finally gave the second sticker, the right one, but the damage was done.
Then she did it again. Second patient is an another eighty-something lady, she said it outloud, to me and my friend, that the lady is to apply a Plaster of Paris (POP). I had my doubts, because I saw the lady had a lumbar corset, and her doctor is an orthopaedic, not a spine surgeon, so I double-checked with the doctor.He pretty much blasted me at that point. "Who asked you to call my patient into the treatment room? I say bring that lady to DR SO-AND-SO. My God, don't you understand ENGLISH?!"
My friend had saw what happened at the point and, with a fierce look in her eye, she went to him and said in a firm voice. "Don't shout at my friend. The reason why she did so many mistakes was your girl gave her the wrong stickers TWICE." He didn't once said sorry, but just ignored her. Just my luck.
The drama's not over with that. The next day around 9 in the morning, a mother with her two-year-old child came up to me at the counter and demanded, "Who's your manager? I wish to speak to her immediately."Since it was a Saturday, our manager is not around, but there's only the executive-on-call. I explained to her, but she was shaking her head and said, "No, I want the manager. Get me your manager now." Again, I explained to her one more time, that there's only the executive-on-call, and the cashier backed me up. Then she let out her anger on me. She came as early as eight-something to register as the second patient for our spine surgeon, who she knows takes forever to see a patient, so she came to register early for her two-year-old boy, who she suspect of scoliosis. She had waited for her turn to come, but she saw three patients had went in. So she went to ask the inside girl, who said that her son's folder is not here, so she have to wait. And she claimed she had called early whether she needs to make an appointment, and the girl said that there's no need, that it's based on a first come first serve basis. Bzzt. Wrong answer. I can only winced as the girl did a mistake which I can't help her with. My friend, who was coming back from the washroom, saw the whole thing happening from the corner that she went and ran for the customer service for their help. So the lady took out her anger on the customer service, and they quickly sent her to Doctor So-and-So for the consultation. Sigh, why me? WHY ME?????      

Injustice and Arrogance

But the stars that marked our starting fall away.

We must go deeper into greater pain,

for it is not permitted that we stay.

- Inferno, Dante Alighieri 

16th August (Tuesday) - "Define crazy patients." My relative snapped at me.
I felt my stomach tighten because this is usually how she asks things. With her chin high and her eyes laser pointing at you. I wish they would stop asking about my job, because I know that I'll never be on par with their doctorate titles, but they didn't have to snub me for my nursing job.
So I stuttered slightly, "Well, I was working with a haematlogist-"
"How dare you call the patients crazy. They are all cancer patients with leukemia, lymphoma and thalassemia major, you ought to be ashamed of yourself. Snapping back at them like that."
Let me tell you I had to excused myself and lock myself in the washroom and cried. Because only my work colleagues know how the patients are. I haven't yet encountered cancer patients except in the medical oncology side, but the haematologist side so far only have blood monitoring and blood transfusions to be done in the daycare or ward. Yet, as you can see on the above conversation, I was rudely cut off and was berated for being... rude to my patients. I had never once fight with my patients, because there's no point in fighting with them. You can fight with them and win the battle, but the cost? Your name and image will get tarnished and smeared in black. By not fighting back, you actually win the battle. Do you know? You lose nothing, you gain nothing, but you did not lose your level to sink down low to their level. And that's a win for me.
So yeah, after I came out of the crying phrase, my other relative, kinder than the first asked me, "You're still in a clinic, right?" And I said yes. Then he told her, "You see, she's only in a clinic, not the ward for crying out loud. But why did you say that they were crazy?"
So I explained. That the haematologist doctor I was covering has certain strict flow to follow, and he's always in a hurry. He often give his patients a fixed time and they have to make it before half time, because that's when he will run off to another clinic. There were patients who are regulars of his, yet they don't follow the rules, walking in late, never doing their blood tests, demanding for MCs despite having a minor problem, in short, pissing him off. And my relative, the one who snubbed me, did not apologize, but just huffed, thinking that I am an incompetent nurse. I know I'll never be on par with doctors, but deep down, I know how I treated my patients, and that's good enough. Because some people will never see things past the surface.
So I was assigned to another doctor, and I really, really dislike his patient. The first patient registered quite early and came up to me. She was pleasant enough, pretty young lady in casual clothes. She passed me an MC slip and said the date was wrong. Since I did not know the story behind I asked her for the whole thing. The date was supposed to be July, but was instead written as June, so I told her politely to have a seat while we wait for doctor to come in.
The phone rang and it was the previous girl who took care of the clinic. She asked me whether that patient had arrived and had she really made a mistake in the MC, so I told her yes and that I'll get doctor to fix it. The patient, I think must have misunderstood because next thing I know, she was yelling at me with all sorts of words. (Edited slightly for confidential purpose, the real thing is worse, hundred times worse)
"YOU BLOODY SHUT THE HELL UP RIGHT NOW! I'M REALLY NOT FEELING WELL AND YOU THINK YOU CAN JUST SNUB ME?! I HAD BEEN ACCUSED OF TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY MEDICAL LEAVES AND I DO NOT! I AM A PHYSICIAN, A SPECIALIST, SO I BLOODY DEMAND THE SAME RESPECT FROM YOU LIKE HOW YOU NORMALLY TREAT YOUR PATIENTS! SO SHUT THE HELL UP AND GIVE ME WHAT I WANT, OR I WILL TAKE YOUR NAME AND GIVE IT TO YOUR HEAD! YOU THINK I DON'T KNOW MY MEDICAL RIGHTS?!"
Oh. My. God. My ears were ringing from all that shouting. The girl, still on the line, immediately dropped the phone and came running to my aid. At the same time, some senior girls as well. And she was still yelling until the clinic at the either ends could actually hear every single word. And all the patients were staring as well. I was at a total lost because I had no idea what happened, and my mind was at a complete blank. The girls were trying to calm her down but she was still yelling at the top of her voice until the doctor came, and then she was all smiles. The girls managed to settled things for her, and the one who did the mistake apologized to her, but the patient coldly told her, "You are not fit to be a nurse." Ugh. Humans are imperfect, flawed beings. We do tend to do mistakes, but of course we try not to. I also did a mistake last year regarding the wrong date. But instead of shouting, the patient nicely said, "It's okay, please change the date so that I can claim my insurance." And voila, problem solved.
The most horrible thing was the patient had evidently complained about me to the doctor, because my head came down and asked me for the story. The good thing was she knew that I had just came in, so she said, "Don't worry. I'm not here to scold you. I just want to know the story." So I did my part, and I was off the hook. Because I had never assisted this doctor for a really long time, so how would I know what had happened previously. And the doctor I mentioned, he always takes the patients' side, never ours. My old doctor would listen to both sides, and if he thinks you are doing wrong, he won't report you to the head (unless it's a HUGE mistake), but he just said sternly, "Please don't do that ever again." If the patient is wrong, he won't lash out, but told them in a firm voice that they shouldn't come late and stuff. Why, oh why, did he have to listen to whatever things they twisted up with?
The girl in the neighbouring clinic came over when he wasn't in and told me that I wasn't the only one. The others who came before me suffered the same thing as well. Wrong date, wrong appointment, any tiny mistakes and the head will come and question you. Really, it's like being in a minefield, one wrong step and BOOM! to kingdom come.
People said he was kind cause he's always smiling, whereas another doctor was cold, arrogant and sarcastic. I rather be with a cold, sarcastic doctor with a kind heart tan once that smiles in front of me and then planned where to put the knives on my back. I assisted many doctors who people told me were loud, obnoxious, rude, sarcastic, mean and when I worked with them, I realized that they are really kind people, who often tries to help the patients in their needs. There are kind doctors with kind heart, I won't deny, and there are some who really just mean all the way through. Two sides of a coin, it's just whether I struck lucky or not.
That patient will be coming back for her next follow up. And I will still be polite to her, but the respect that I gave her, I'm taking it back. Treat me like trash and I'll still treat you the same as always, but my respect, you can't have it anymore.    

Does Size Matters

In-con-veiv-a-ble - Too strange or unusual to be thought real or possible
(Dictionary of Contemporary English, Longman,7th edition, printed in 2007)

15th August (Monday) - Santa Maria, I really despise family reunions. It's bad enough that you are related to a whole family of doctors, lawyers and accountants, but the worst of it all is the comparing. "What kind of job are you working as?" "How many As did you get in your exams?" "Why don't you become a doctor/ banker/ investment manager/ etc etc?" What irks me the most is people take one look at you and said, "You're so fat." !!!! Seriously??? If it is strangers, I don't mind. But your own blood, that is going too far.
I'll be honest here, I'm not thin, nor am I obese, I'm just somewhere in between, average, maybe with a little flesh since my hips are big, hence finding a one piece dress for me are absolute no-nos, and because my hips are big, I have to go for empire-waisted dresses so that my hips don't emphasize too much. But what ticks me is that in my family, we are all generally big-boned, so for me to get down to stick thin Hollywood-sized is an impossible thing, unless I starve myself and go on a hunger strike. Some of my relatives are thin, as in really thin like the typical stick thin Hollywood types, not an ounce of fat in their body and you can see their bones protruding out. Yes, they are blessed with those genes, so they never had to worry about clothes or how they look because they can get away with it, picture perfect. I do envy them, but at the same time, I felt doubtful. Could I really look like that? Because the way they look like are like walking flag poles, and when they fall down, I feel like wincing because science actually says that fat is needed to protect our organs. I experienced a patient fell down before and she was stick thin (not by choice, but because she was sick), so when she fell, she ended up having a bruise. Poor thing. The irony, she wants to gain weight as a healthy person whereas I'm going for the opposite.
Let me assure you I did try a lot of stuff to lose weight, I went on a carb free diet, high protein and fibre diet, went on aggressive exercises on the treadmill, taking less fluids, skipped meals, the only thing I never did was taking meds or under the knife. And even with all my efforts, I still looked the same. I talked to a few guy friends who are close with me, and do you know what they told me? They preferred girls who are healthy looking with a little weight here and there, not stick thin types. Seriously, I nearly bowled over. I never knew that. Everywhere I go I often see stick thin girls looking glamorous, like they just stepped out of the red carpet or fashion magazines. And they often have that smug look on their face, like however they look they will always look flawless. In the end, funnily, my colleagues in work were the one who comforted me. "Look, you're not fat, nor are you thin. But you look just nice the way you are. Why would you go to extreme measures just to please your family?" I was going the wrong way all along, instead of aiming for weight loss, I should've aimed for a healthy lifestyle. Maybe that's why I was gloomy all the while and turning down meal outings with them.
There's another patient whom I encountered few months ago in my clinic. She was big-boned (Trying not to use the fat word here) and had a balloon inserted into her stomach. Her story, she told me was to aim for a healthier lifestyle, and not to overeat. She said that she can still enjoy her food, but in smaller portions, and she never regretted going for that option. And when I told her I was <insert the word here>, she gave me a funny look and said, "I would go crazy just to get your size. Do you know how lucky you are to have a full figure, shapes and all?" I felt silly for doing all of the mentioned above things just to lose weight, and one more thing she said that sticks into my mind. "Numbers on the scale doesn't matter. I'm a little big-boned, but I still get to wear my other clothes and look good." She discharged happily from the clinic, and she does look good when I saw her one day when I'm off duty.
Recently I saw a video of Jennifer Lawrence doing a live interview. And what she said makes me want to cheer. The word FAT should be banned or made illegal. And I whole-heartedly support her. When she was given the role of (Suzanne Collin's Hunger Games trilogy) Katniss Everdeen, there were a lot of critics who said she wasn't fit to be Katniss because she looked fat. !!!! I thought Jennifer looked lovely and represented Katniss character nicely. But the critics said that she was fat, or as they put it, having a fuller figure. They wanted a stick thin model to play Katniss, because in the books, Katniss looks malnourished, since she never had enough to eat and is always looking out for her family.
And there was an article on parenting that I've come across yesterday, and this mother to two or three (I can't remember) kids actually banned the word fat in her household. Because she said she didn't want to de-moralize or lower her kids' confidence and self-esteem on how they look. And she even banned scales from the house, opting to check her weight once every six months at centers instead, for which I salute.
Now I'm also slowly learning to love my body for the way it looks, sure it isn't picture perfect, but I don't want to go down the long road feeling miserable and missing out all the fun things in life. You only get to live once, so cherish whatever you have.
Okay, break's over. Back to writing.

Hectic Month

1st August (Monday) - I can't seem to find the save button for most of my accounts. After my lappy got infected by trojans, my friend reformatted my whole lappy, to the point where he also made a clean slate on my browser. I'm not complaining or anything, but every time I open my browser, I have to type in each and every password and usernames, which it's a little annoying but safer, since I had to force my wee brain to memorize every account usernames and passwords, although there are one or two which I could never remember due to never logging in for a long time. But I did remember some of the important ones, so saved.
The internet at home has gone cuckoo, so here I am, using an outside Wi-Fi, which feels a little unnerved, since you know, home is always comfortable. I never did understand why my sister loves using outside Wi-Fi, I always go for my data plan if I could, but there's a limit which I could not exceed. Small matter, if my limit's up, I just have to settle for the home internet.
These few days work has been hectic. I never assisted a cardiothoracic surgeon more than a day. While the surgeon is a really nice man who taught me what I needed to do, the preparation is more hectic compared to how I assisted the gastro and orthopaedic specialists. I had patients jumping at my throat, demanding me to let them in to see the surgeon, but for heaven's sake, a patient who is going for open heart surgery, valve repairs and other major stuff needs a thorough explanation from A to Z. A new patient came in for a CABG (Coronary Artery Bypass Graft) so my doctor had to prepare tons of paper works, which was all down to me to file in every single paper that came to my way, make sure my doctor signed and wrote his note, sign my part of being the witness, explain everything over again, make sure the blood tests are done.... Whew, a lot of stuff to take in. And there was this patient's wife who actually shouted at me saying that how come he's (my doctor) taking so long. I explained to her he's a new case (Well, not technically. He came few years back and suddenly appeared for a surgery) and he's undergoing a major case, hence we are taking a long time, not just to explain to the patient but to prep everything, from the paper works, the results, the operating theatre, the pre-admission (etc. etc.)  and the patient physically and mentally. She started yelling about how they came early and they expected the doctor to be fast. Yes, everyone wishes for the doctors to be fast because that's the purpose of us coming to the hospital, but you have to be patient.
When her husband's turn finally came and he was discharged from our clinic, the doctor asked me why was she hopping mad and shouting at me. I explained to him regarding the situation and he shakes his head. "She have no right to shout at you. Doesn't she understand that heart cases are quite major and needed many explanations to do?" Well, you could say that most cases do need to be explained but major organ involved such as brain, heart and spine usually takes a lot longer because of the risks involved. (Ah, good times, good times with my old doctor...)
So my aunt did come for a consultation with my old doctor, and can I just say I feel like tearing up? Seriously, I know my doctor said I need to be positive and look on the good side, but arghhhhhhhhh. The new girl who took over my place drove me nuts. When she was first assigned to him, she didn't know what to do, so I taught her the basics of running his clinic. The next day, she practically banned me from stepping foot over there. !!!! If I want to see my old doctor, I have to make an appointment. (Yes! Even for a chat.) For the love of Mary, I had to go through another way which is to call my doctor's extension so that I can be allowed instead of being a persona non grata. Sometimes when I'm assigned to the same floor as her, she will make snippy remarks on how she thrashed all the forms that I previously prepared for my doctor (He has a lot of cases those days), or how I dote on him by letting him run his clinic past lunch time (Is patient or lunch important? You choose), or how she threw the folders that I had carefully organized to avoid going crazy due to the many rotational staff when I'm not around. Well, fine, let her talk. I pretty much gave up on trying to be polite and nice to her. It's her clinic, she can do whatever she wants to it. I'm not in that clinic anymore, so I have no say to what she does.
I always thought of the world to be a good place, yes, I know there's the dark side of it, but I always try to look at the positive side (psychiatrist's advice), but you know, I noticed most people who puts up a friendly front could be seriously nasty. They'll smile and treat you nicely like sugar coated candies, but behind your back, they're the ones who plants the knives and needles. Some are quite stony faced or arrogant looking, but once I get to know them, they are all sweet like marshmallows.
On a bright side, I finally 'graduated' from the psychiatrist side, so no more follow ups for me, hopefully. And now I got to get ready for a chess competition, while juggling work, writing, reading and drawing at the same time.
Now time for me to indulge in reading while cranking up Powerman 5000 on my mp3. Their songs are really good to let out your anger and frustration

Recommended Powerman 5000 songs: Bombshell, Show Me What You Got, Supernova Goes Pop, Supervillain, When World Collides
        

Authors Talk

10th July (Sunday) - These days things had been havoc. Working alone to deal two major dressings, people, trying to settle certain invoices, in between trying to clear leaves before the end of this year, running stock takes, and as always, handling difficult patients. I thought of trying something different, talking about books, the only thing that kept me sane from the craziness of the work place. Since it was the festive season, we're severely short staffed to the point there's only one person on each floor, but thank God it wasn't everyday. But I'm so exhausted after those two huge dressings, so instead of nursing, today I'll be talking about books instead.
Recently I've been hunting down the Heather Wells series by Meg Cabot. Originally I only had the second, third and forth books, but not the beginning and ending. What irks me, as a bookaholic and bookworm, is that if I love a book, I always aim to get the whole series, so recently I went to the Big Bad Wolf sale and lo and behold, I found the last book of the series. Yeah! But I'm still missing the first book, which led back to my book hunting, and miracle, a bookshop that I frequented to often managed to get the first book for me, first edition. Now my series (and life) is complete.
I've been a Meg Cabot fan since I first started reading her Princess Diaries series, and since then, I've been picking up her other works, The Mediator series, the Abandon series, the Avalon High series, the Airhead series and many more. Meg Cabot books aren't easy to come by, except for the Princess Diaries series, so it was really hard for me to even get hold any of them. God knows why, maybe they are planning to sell E-books... People often joked that I should sell off my Enid Blyton and Meg Cabot books but no way am I ever selling them. It was really hard to come by them and I loved them. Her heroines are really spunky and sassy despite their flaws, and you can relate to them easily.
J.K. Rowling, ah who wouldn't love Harry Potter? I grew up with them since they first came out and still love them. I got the original covers instead of the ones I see out now in the market, I wonder why they kept changing into weird covers, it's so weird... Again, not for sale, although I could fetch a good value from them. Now they got an eight book coming out end of this month, and you know me, saving up now so that when it comes out, it's off I go.
L.J. Smith, I got all of her series, from Vampire Diaries (NOT the ghostwritten ones) to Dark Visions, to Forbidden Game, to Night World, to the Wildworld and Secret Circle (again, NOT the ghostwritten ones). Now they are also hard to come by, especially for Dark Visions, Forbidden Game and certain Night World titles. It's an absolute pity that her Vampire Diaries and Secret Circle series were taken from her, hence why I refuse to buy the ghostwritten versions. I tried by reading those open copies that you see in bookshops, even finished reading them, and I'm so sad. These are not L.J. Smith writings. I wanted to see the original author writing, not the ghostwritten ones, but due to certain issues, she lost her rights to them. Thank God the other series are all still under her name, so I'll be focusing on them more. Few years back she had released a Vampire Diaries fanfiction and I would love to get my hands on them, except it's in E-Book form and only available in the US of A. Aw...
Anthony Horowitz, I had the Alex Rider series and the Power of Five series, all first editions, sadlky except for Stormbreaker, which is with the first edition movie tie in cover, but nevertheless, again, can fetch a high price on certain sites like Amazon and Ebay. Again, NOT  FOR SALE.
Chris Bradford, I started reading his books 4 years ago after reading an interview about him in the Star, and had never regretted it. It's almost as real as you can get, and he actually practices most of those martial arts and skills in real life. For the Young Samurai series, he studied various martial arts like Kendo, Ninjutsu, Karate and many others. For his Bodyguard series, he underwent a real bodyguard training and graduated with flying colours and a qualified license. Man, who would've thought a bodyguard training is tough? If you read my books, I actually input karate in my characters (I'm a Black First Dan), although for Blitz's story, I've been trying Capoeira and certain self defense skills. Couldn't find any good capoeira class over here so I had to resort to reading and Youtube to get the feel. Please do not attempt all of these in real life without proper guidance and instructions or you may get seriously hurt.
So there you have it, most of my favourite authors. And now, back to writing plus drawing.    

Half Year

5th June (Sunday) - Look at how time flies. I've been moaning on how time seems to creep slowly, but now we're in June. Two more months and I'll be entering my 2 years of working life.
It has been more than a year that I had stayed in one place, and human nature had never ceased to amaze me. What you learnt in school is pretty standard, you know, like honesty is the best virtue, treat people kind and they will be kind back to you. How wrong I was when I first stepped into the working world back then, all fresh and naive, like a newly-hatched baby chick. Human nature in the open is not what you learnt in school.
As mentioned above, human nature had never ceased to amaze me. I really dislike Fridays, because everything that goes wrong, mostly happens on a Friday, for me... I was in my doctor's room, making coffee for him when I heard shoutings and thumpings. Despite the mug burning my fingers, I stepped out a little from the doorway and saw this middle-aged guy yelling like a madman at the cashier. Everyone, and I do mean, everyone - patients, doctors, their assistants, EVERYBODY is staring at him. He was apparently yelling about his medications being slow. Sigh, you know, we had always explained again and again that our pharmacy takes time to process the charges. Our cashier is super efficient, he keys in the doctor's charges and that's it, he waits for the pharmacy to key in theirs and then he can collect the payment. Pity some people just don't get our process, even though they are old patients. I encountered many who claimed they are follow up patients hence they don't have to register but just waltz in to see the doctor. Sorry, same rules apply. Register first, get your sticker, pass it to the clinic girls, sit down and wait for your queue, see the doctor, wait for payment or medications. The 'best' part of the whole drama, people who are waiting for their medications for 30 minutes did not even complain. This guy, according to my colleague who witnessed the whole thing, did not even waited long. She helped faxed his medication prescription, placed it on the metal tray and our cashier explained to the man, who immediately burst out. And he actually yelled that he's doing everyone a favour, which again, caused everyone to stare at him. My goodness, why are all patients acting like this? I know that my doctor said that it's because they are sick, but I don't think being sick gives you a reason to act like this, and this guy is actually a very healthy guy who came for a yearly health check up. I recall there was a time I had a really bad dengue till I collapsed and was pretty weak, and I did a surgery under local anaesthesia, and most recently I sprained my leg quite bad til I couldn't run, but walk real slow. And I had never yell at people despite the service is slow.
It's sad but nowadays people just don't give a darn about basic human rights anymore. There was an incident where a doctor and I got yelled by the patient's son. The scenario was like this: Mom undergone spine surgery and is required for follow up. Family brought her in the early morning to see four doctors, three of them are at the top and our doctor is at the bottom. Her appointment says it's in the morning, but the family all went up to see the other doctors since they are all in the same floor. Fine, it's acceptable. In between though, they have to pick up their three kids, so by the time they came back, it's already past two. Our doctor have no clinic, but they yelled like maniacs and attacked the clinic girl with verbal abuses, plus the next door doctor and me, even though we are both innocent parties who have no idea what is going on. He yelled that he have to pick up the kids from school, about how they have to rush back home etc etc. Look here, when an appointment is given to you, you are the one who choose the time to suits your need. You cannot give excuses like that as though we were the one who forced you to take that date. Those things we can still take it, but the one that is most unforgivable is the way he talked to our doctor. "My wife and I run our own business to earn money, we pay your thousands to fix our mom, so you should be the one to care for her. Not us. You are a stupid, brainless doctor, and so is your nurse over there."
!!!!!
How dare you! You leave my doctor and me out of this! How could you even say that?! And he even added, "It's not our problem to take care of my mom. We paid you the money right? So doctor, you should be the one to take care of her."
!!!!!
Terrible, yes? Can't believe there are these type of people around. No wonder my clinical instructor once told me when I was a student, "Humans are not humans anymore, they are acting like hooligans." These people think doctors and nurses, especially nurses, are like slaves, nice to step on. They forget that we too, are human beings like them. We also have the right to be respected as a basic human being, not some slave or machine.
Now whenever I go to work, I always pray to Mary, Mother of God, that the day will be a good day. I know the day won't be as smooth as a straight line, but at least, please don't let the patients do this to us. Amen to that.