Does Size Matters

In-con-veiv-a-ble - Too strange or unusual to be thought real or possible
(Dictionary of Contemporary English, Longman,7th edition, printed in 2007)

15th August (Monday) - Santa Maria, I really despise family reunions. It's bad enough that you are related to a whole family of doctors, lawyers and accountants, but the worst of it all is the comparing. "What kind of job are you working as?" "How many As did you get in your exams?" "Why don't you become a doctor/ banker/ investment manager/ etc etc?" What irks me the most is people take one look at you and said, "You're so fat." !!!! Seriously??? If it is strangers, I don't mind. But your own blood, that is going too far.
I'll be honest here, I'm not thin, nor am I obese, I'm just somewhere in between, average, maybe with a little flesh since my hips are big, hence finding a one piece dress for me are absolute no-nos, and because my hips are big, I have to go for empire-waisted dresses so that my hips don't emphasize too much. But what ticks me is that in my family, we are all generally big-boned, so for me to get down to stick thin Hollywood-sized is an impossible thing, unless I starve myself and go on a hunger strike. Some of my relatives are thin, as in really thin like the typical stick thin Hollywood types, not an ounce of fat in their body and you can see their bones protruding out. Yes, they are blessed with those genes, so they never had to worry about clothes or how they look because they can get away with it, picture perfect. I do envy them, but at the same time, I felt doubtful. Could I really look like that? Because the way they look like are like walking flag poles, and when they fall down, I feel like wincing because science actually says that fat is needed to protect our organs. I experienced a patient fell down before and she was stick thin (not by choice, but because she was sick), so when she fell, she ended up having a bruise. Poor thing. The irony, she wants to gain weight as a healthy person whereas I'm going for the opposite.
Let me assure you I did try a lot of stuff to lose weight, I went on a carb free diet, high protein and fibre diet, went on aggressive exercises on the treadmill, taking less fluids, skipped meals, the only thing I never did was taking meds or under the knife. And even with all my efforts, I still looked the same. I talked to a few guy friends who are close with me, and do you know what they told me? They preferred girls who are healthy looking with a little weight here and there, not stick thin types. Seriously, I nearly bowled over. I never knew that. Everywhere I go I often see stick thin girls looking glamorous, like they just stepped out of the red carpet or fashion magazines. And they often have that smug look on their face, like however they look they will always look flawless. In the end, funnily, my colleagues in work were the one who comforted me. "Look, you're not fat, nor are you thin. But you look just nice the way you are. Why would you go to extreme measures just to please your family?" I was going the wrong way all along, instead of aiming for weight loss, I should've aimed for a healthy lifestyle. Maybe that's why I was gloomy all the while and turning down meal outings with them.
There's another patient whom I encountered few months ago in my clinic. She was big-boned (Trying not to use the fat word here) and had a balloon inserted into her stomach. Her story, she told me was to aim for a healthier lifestyle, and not to overeat. She said that she can still enjoy her food, but in smaller portions, and she never regretted going for that option. And when I told her I was <insert the word here>, she gave me a funny look and said, "I would go crazy just to get your size. Do you know how lucky you are to have a full figure, shapes and all?" I felt silly for doing all of the mentioned above things just to lose weight, and one more thing she said that sticks into my mind. "Numbers on the scale doesn't matter. I'm a little big-boned, but I still get to wear my other clothes and look good." She discharged happily from the clinic, and she does look good when I saw her one day when I'm off duty.
Recently I saw a video of Jennifer Lawrence doing a live interview. And what she said makes me want to cheer. The word FAT should be banned or made illegal. And I whole-heartedly support her. When she was given the role of (Suzanne Collin's Hunger Games trilogy) Katniss Everdeen, there were a lot of critics who said she wasn't fit to be Katniss because she looked fat. !!!! I thought Jennifer looked lovely and represented Katniss character nicely. But the critics said that she was fat, or as they put it, having a fuller figure. They wanted a stick thin model to play Katniss, because in the books, Katniss looks malnourished, since she never had enough to eat and is always looking out for her family.
And there was an article on parenting that I've come across yesterday, and this mother to two or three (I can't remember) kids actually banned the word fat in her household. Because she said she didn't want to de-moralize or lower her kids' confidence and self-esteem on how they look. And she even banned scales from the house, opting to check her weight once every six months at centers instead, for which I salute.
Now I'm also slowly learning to love my body for the way it looks, sure it isn't picture perfect, but I don't want to go down the long road feeling miserable and missing out all the fun things in life. You only get to live once, so cherish whatever you have.
Okay, break's over. Back to writing.