All In One

30th March (Wednesday) - I'm so sorry for the super long delay.Our house was in the middle of a large renovation, and our internet got cut off. Not on purpose, though. The front is being renovated, which means we all to use the side door. No kitchen, hence we're all living on takeouts for the past month. And the house still isn't done yet, for your info. Thank goodness my room is the only one which does not needs to be renovated, but I do wish I could get a built in bookshelf for all my books, but there's no more space and it's costly, so scratch that. I pray that it'll be all done soon.  
Once again, I'm the subject of being yelled at by patients. It's really amazing how one thing links to another. On Saturday, some guy from the west came, demanding to see the doctor (Not my usual doctor, another one). I couldn't remember the patient at first, but his name was definitely not on the appointment list, so I have no idea what's going on. After they made one hell of a noise, I called the doctor on his cell and naturally, he raised his voice. Not pissed off, but more like annoyed. After a long conversation, he finally said, "Call the patient to come over to emergency." So naturally, the patient did.
Not long after that, I got a phone call, which I answered, and the family from the west yelled at me. Uh huh. No good morning, no niceties. Just yelled at me like a mad dog. Oh, now I remember she called me on Wednesday morning to fix an appointment for her dad on Friday. Yep, I saw my handwriting with a remark on the side. After that, there's no more. She claimed that she called me 5 minutes later to change the appointment. I do not buy that. I was in the whole time. And I don't recall her calling because I was right beside the phone the whole time. It's really amazing how some people can twist the story to make them look like the innocent party. Now, I'm not saying all of our patients are like that. Out of ten, maybe one or two will do something funny like this. But many patients I've seen so far are kind, funny and understanding. Some even crack jokes with us regarding their conditions, how getting a surgical scar is like a signature from the surgeons, some brought us tons of food as thanks, some also complimented us though the feedback forms. Yeah, it's not all doom and gloom as it seems. Anyway, back on track, the patient claimed that the doctor I'm with don't know anything, and when I told her the doctor asked her family to go over to the emergency department, she, in a very haughty tone, said, "Your doctor is no genius. I'm sure he can't remember every single thing on a patient. You need to courier the file over to the hospital."

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

What the- CHRIST, listen to yourself, do you know how ridiculous it sounds? What do you think this is? Some mail office where we can just send things over in a courier bag? For the last time, you CAN'T courier/ fax/mail/ a folder over to another hospital. It's against the law, and it's hospital property!!!!! Not to mention we can be hold liable if things go terribly wrong. And how dare she challenge my doctor that way. I may not know him as well as my other doctor, but I worked with him long enough to know that he knows his patients very well, especially his old patients. And this man, the patient, her dad, happens to be a regular customer. And you know what else she said? She claimed that my doctor failed in the surgery. It's taking all of my willpower, not to mention mentality, to scream at the daughter and her smug know-it-all-attitude. Really, I dealt with so many difficult customers (and I'm still not done yet), and she is one of the worst. In the end, after I refuse to budge, she slammed the phone down, after claiming that things will go horribly wrong once my doctor goes to the emergency department. I know she's upset and all, but please, there's a limit on how much I can take too. God, I'm going to Starbucks and get a large sugarless Chocolate Cream Chip. What a fiasco, I need something bitter to drown myself in.
We're not done yet, how about the time where I was attacked for no reason, regarding something I did not do. Really, when everything goes wrong, look for her. You know, that pale girl cause she's as squish as a marshmallow. Just because I do not bite back doesn't mean I can be reckoned with. I already let out my dark side once with a whole load of bloodys, and people were all freaked, because I had never, ever yelled like that, nor have I raised my voice. Yes, I do get irritated and all, but so far I managed to control myself. I really don't know what are these people playing at, but there's no more reason to let my guard down anymore. Now I got to think like a survivor instead of being all-nice.
I wish I could rant more, but at this rate I don't think one post will be enough. Some more I'm so exhausted from this whole thing till I feel like sleeping and wish everything will just go away. But this is life we're talking about, so no chance.
By the way, that children song I was singing. It's actually a really old Japanese song. Here it is :

かごめかごめ 籠の中の鳥は
いついつ出やる　夜明けの晩に
鶴と亀が滑った
後ろの正面だあれ Kagome kagome Kago no naka no tori wa Itsu itsu deyaru Yoake no ban ni Tsuru to kame ga subetta Ushiro no shoumen daare

Second Time Jinxed

25th March (Friday) - Back again to my doctor.  This time it wasn't him who made a riot, but the patient instead. I got there happily, humming a children song when this lady handed me her queue. Like a complete fool, I looked at my appointment book, and found that someone had scrawled CLINIC STARTS AT 11 in caps, plus DO NOT TAKE ANY MORE PATIENTS scrawled across. Trusting the person who wrote the message, I told the patient that clinic starts at 11. Big mistake. Next thing I knew, her daughter yelled at me like a total maniac, as one of the assistants would say, "Barking like a mad dog." Seriously. She yelled at me until the whole floor heard her. Taking an advice form a friend, who said I was 'thick-skinned', I told her politely that I had no idea what's going on since I just came back from a long leave, like the usual time, and still she blasted me. This one is ten times worse because the whole floor heard the whole drama. It was a good thing it's early in the morning. So not many people heard the whole thing. Oh wait. Who am I kidding? In books, they always say the worst place to be in it's a quiet place. Noisy places means less chance of being overheard. Desperate, desperate, I ran to the phone and dialed my doctor's handphone. Thank God he answered the phone after a few rings. It's standard, unlike last time where he didn't pick up the phone (Although that's because he's on the airplane). Okay, I doubled confirm with him, he's starting clinic at 9.30. I suggested the patient to go for breakfast, but the family refused, saying they refuse to leave til they catch the doctor. Fine then.
In between while waiting for my doctor, I received phone calls from the nurses, and visits from the other clinic assistants, plus the registration staff, whom wanted to know what was that lady shouting about. Well, this is the second time I get blasted for something that is not my fault. No big deal. Somehow I been jinxed that whenever I come back to work with him, I get hit by something that has nothing to do with me. Good grief. Of course I have to take the blame, but how long more can I keep this up without screaming inside?  
Thank Mother of God he arrived at exactly the time after I informed him that there were three patients waiting. He saw me sitting at the table looking slightly crestfallen from the patient's drama. He gave a smile and said, "Well, well, looks like we're reunited." Eh??? Um... Okay. I got tons of stuff for him from the vendor. New notepads, I know he loves to write ^^, new pens, we're always losing them, free samples of scar cream (I know he needs them, since he's a surgeon), and Japanese coffee chocolates (He likes coffee), Yay, he accepted them all, and he passed me something thick in return. His legal documents. Whaaa- "Help me pass these to legal department." Well, okay. It wasn't sealed, but I refuse to pry into it. Turning the envelope over, I found the extension where I'm supposed to call. To be on the safe side, I dialed. Good thing too. The lawyer asked me open the envelope and check the contents. "Er, um, I can't open the envelope. It's his P&C." The lawyer chuckled and said, "You're supposed to open it because you have to check the contents. I'll tell you what to do, don't worry." Okay, so taking out the documents, she guided me through the process, like taking out whichever documents she mentioned and check to make sure he sign and stamp them with his company stamp. I was a little confused because I expected him to use our usual stamp, but the lawyer chuckled again and said, "You didn't know? He has his own business." Oh...OH.... So that's what that title meant. Blur, blur, blur. The lawyer came down too to help me with his documents which we looked through together and she tsk-tsked. He did not sign his initials on each page, only stamped them. After confirming with her and her senior lawyer colleague to make sure, it was acceptable, providing he did sign the important parts. Once we're satisfied, she collected the documents and I thanked her.
In between waiting patients for X-Rays, some of the other assistants told me, without further ado, to attack the person who caused me so much trouble. I refused, because I didn't want to cause havoc. They told me, "This is not about havoc. This is about fighting for your right. For God's sake, why are you the one who always had to pick up the mess?" In the end, I tried. I did it in a nice way, not blaming others, but just inquiring how. The manager tried, but it was no good. Not one admit their fault, because "The doctor didn't say anything, so it's his fault." Always, always, my doctor get stabbed. If not him, me. Urgh.....
The rest of the day passed by as a blur, but it was really good to see him again. Just like old times. One patient even commented, "You and your doctor look romantic."

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'll.......take that as a compliment, but I think my whole ears turned red. My doctor basically laughed his head off. Oh, it is funny in a way, but I hope no one misinterpret it for other meanings.    

Betrayed and Blamed

6th March (Sunday) -  The event takes place on Saturday.
"Hello doctor. How are you???"
"WHAT THE HELL???? I NEVER HAD CLINIC ON SATURDAYS STARTING FROM THIS MONTH ONWARDS!!!"
I had to hold the receiver away from my ear at that time cause my doctor, who is usually kind, soft and gentle, who usually blasted patient who tried to nonsense with him, it's yelling in the phone. Ahhh, what on earth had just happened? This week is really rotten. First auditing is coming in June, but the higher ups are blasting us for every little problems that gone awry. Small little things that could be settled over some swapping around, but they kept yelling, "Life and death! Life and death!" Oh geez, stop pushing us around like mad dogs. My friend who had been in Saudi Arab and various hospitals for many years before she came here said even when it's close to auditing time, everyone was cheerful, joking even as the day approached near, like any other day. Auditing is auditing, she told me. All you have to do is practice the right thing that you had been doing, and please don't go screwing things up. Sigh... If auditing comes every three months, then we will see people barking like mad dogs, as one of the assistant usually said.
I myself even lost my temper, pushed to a breaking point when the new system is coming out. Somehow, on the previous day, against my will and consent, someone had dragged my name into the  computer learning system. Now wait just a minute, I never submitted my name, and I certainly had never said I mastered the whole computer thingamajingy.
Bloody hell. Oh yes, those words really came out of my mouth. I was so furious, so mad, that I comply at first, and yeah, they couldn't handle all the old fussy doctors' personal assistants, so that I end up taking all the flames. And idiotically enough, I did. All the bloody word came out of my mouth. Bloody idiots, bloody fool, bloody, bloody, bloody, bloody, bloody... The one thing I should've done was take a photo of the schedule because I did not see my bloody name on it. But again, I was an idiot for not doing so, so I ended up letting them get away with it.
Oh she called after 2, after the whole fiasco. She said, "Do you want to teach others how to use the new system?" And I coldly declined, and then she said, "Oh, I thought you were confident, that's why I put your name in the list." Again, in a very cold voice, I said, "You listen to me right now. I had never once said I am confident in the new system, and I certainly never said that I would do it." She kept really silent then and we hung up.
The next day, my friends were teasing me why I'm not taking care of my doctor anymore, and I said, "Oh you know, we are S-E-P-A-R-A-T-E-D." Speak of the devil, the moment I stepped out, our cashier boy went, "You are needed with Doctor So-and-so." Um, okay. So I did, and I already got few patients waiting. Okay, as usual, let's give him a call.
You seen the first two lines between me and my doctor, now let's continue from there. After he blasted me, he demanded, "Did anyone told you that I cancelled clinic on Saturdays and start operating on Saturdays?" And I sighed, "Doctor, no one ever tells me anything." And he muttered something under his breath, then he said, "Give me few minutes, once I'm done with a dressing in the ward, I'll come over." So I give a sigh of relief. Okay, one crisis down.
Oh Christ. Not averted. I thought there's only one patient but ended up there's two, so the chains of disaster were set in motion, one after another. He went, "How come there are two patients now?" There was nothing I could do, because the patients came at 8 and I only just found out. So he accepted and took them over. But once they were gone, he told me to push all of our patients to another doctor., after checking our appointment book. Seven patients, and there's no note nothing that says no more patients for Saturdays. Nothing. He was so furious that he too started swearing bloody idiot like I do (Oh yes, I learnt my swearing from him) then he muttered, "I took Saturdays because everytime when I want to do surgery on Thursdays, they tell me no slot, so I took Saturdays cause nobody wants the slot." Ohhh, so that's why he's around on Thursdays when there's no clinics. I helped him book a lot of surgeries on some Thursdays, Fridays and Saturdays but I never knew. Bless him. In between when he was seeing patients, I called a good friend of mine, a super senior clinic girl about my situation and she went, "Oh my God. Did he informed medical affairs?" I told her that he said he did, and she quickly checked the system for me, but there's nothing there, and I told her so. Then she told me to get my doctor to write a letterhead or memo informing that he has no more clinics on Saturdays, which I informed him, and he said, "I already signed the bloody forms 2 to 3 weeks ago, and I already spoken to the bloody medical affairs officer. How come I still got patients on Saturdays?" Then I meekly asked him, "Did you remember who did you passed it to?" And he said, with venom, ""I certainly remember. It was your good friend, xxxx.  Oh, oh no. Oh God, not her. My God, I can't believe this. What had she been doing?!!! Mother of Mary!!! I apologized like those bobble-head dolls and nearly had to get onto my knees, he looked at me and said, "I'm not blaming you. It's your bloody idiotic colleague who did it. If I ever see her, I'm going to shoot (yell at) her. And do something about the calendar, one of those fools threw it away." Huh? I took a look at my calendar and nearly screamed. The nice calendar that I had, the one which I marked my doctor leaves, public holidays and notes is gone. Thrown into oblivion. Alright, now this means WAR.
I consulted with my friend after he left, and I quickly called the girl who did the assignment, the one who made me pissed, she didn't answer at first. It was her friend, so I quickly relayed the situation to her. She went, "Are you sure?" And I go, "I'm not kidding here, I was yelled by him from 8.30 onwards." She quickly called the girl over and she went, "Are you sure? He had never yelled this bad." And I went, "Well, I've seen him yell like this with nutty patients, but this is the first time he yelled at a staff like this. Did you know that he blocked his clinic on Saturdays to do his surgery?" And she shook her head, saying that there's no messages regarding this, and asked me to talk to the girl who is in charge in fifth floor. So I went to find her at another doctor's clinic, and she too, didn't know anything about it. Great, just great. And because I couldn't stop my patients from coming, I had to run to the doctor that my doctor requested and explained the situation to him. Lucky, he was in a good mood and he said, "Okay, sure. Just get all the folders over here and I'll settle it." Oh, thank you, doctor.
I quickly went to the phone to repair the damage by contacting my patients. Some went into voicemail. Some I was too late, they appeared in front of me, so I had to apologize and said, "I am so sorry. I just came back from a long leave and I had no idea what had happened. My colleague did not leave me a note, and there no updates from her side." My patients of course, go, "She should've updated you." Yes, it's just like what happened to my poor friend form the ground floor. She came back after a month long MC from a major operation, and she get fired by the patients. Now it's my turn. And because the patients know my face, they went, "Why can't you stay with him?" And I said, "I can't. Unless he said so, otherwise I follow my assignment." Terrible, isn't it? He's the only doctor whose nurse kept changing.
So after shifting most of my patients' appointment, I had to do the calendar, the appointments, tidy up the clinic (WHY IS THERE A SPOILED KETTLE UNDER MY TABLE?!!!!), clean up the place, insurance wise I had to settle on Monday when medical affairs is open. And leave notes for the staff who is coming in. Hmm, she's on leave, which means it's me. Oh, clever. Very clever. Looks like I have to do some more damage control. The girl called me and said, "Well, you know his mood, his attitude, his habits, so it's safer to put you in." Gee, more fire to put out. We're starting clinic in the afternoon, hope we get more patients, and please, less drama. That's all I ask. Maybe this week was rotten because I had never prayed to Jesus. Well, I better do it before the day starts... What a mess. Time to go and eat some McDonald's to release the stress. >.>     

Bloackage and Pent Up Anger

2nd March (Wednesday) - Last day of February and early March. And things are just going downhill. I had a really bad case of nose blockage, no need mask, but I can't smell or taste anything, I might as well be eating the air for all I know, even the gloriumptious (A Roald Dahl word) pretzel tasted like cardboard. It was so bad til I felt shivering cold and had no appetite. My manager, out of concern, asked me to go to staff health. Really? Go back there? To that awful place? Read on to find out.
I went there for pre-employment check up on 14th February (Year xxxx). Then nurses there are okay, I got nothing against them. The one I really really hate were the MO. Did I ever mention I really don't like MO (Medical Officer)? I had a really bad encounter with one at my old workplace and it's awful. I was already half dead, having difficulty in breathing, and major nose block and looking weak on my legs, she insisted I was fine, with no fever or anything. And you know what she gave me? PANADOL. I insisted it was nose block, not fever, but she said, "You might get a fever, so take this and go."
This one is no different. The first time I come as a patient for pre-employment, I had a previous history of gastric that has been cleared by Prof So-and-So. But the MO isn't impressed. She called my name and went blasting me in front of everyone. "You stupid girl. How can you have gastric when you're so young?!" I mentioned to her that my old workplace was miserable and always busy, which means no time for regular meals, she cut me off. "Don't give me that stupid excuse. You should carry protein bars in your bag." Well, I would like to point out to her that most protein bars contains high amount of sugar and are expensive. I took plain oats mixed with soy-based milk or beetroots, always warm. Again, she's not impressed, telling me that I'm stupid, idiotic, yada yada yada, I'm the doctor and you're the nurse, so SHUT UP. Wisely, I stayed shut, but I was a fool for not going to the customer service and giving her a piece of my mind because I was too naive.
Second time, I decided to give the other MO a try (There's 2). She younger, so in my opinion she should be more sweet.Right? Right?
WRONG!
She is as nasty as that senior MO. Same arrogant attitude, same I'm-a-doctor-so-everything-I-do-is-right-attitude, not much of a help. The medicine she gave me was awful, so bitter til I ended up throwing up a few times when I used it. It's a good thing I kept my old doctor's nasal prescription. 2 years back, but still usable (Expiry date : xxxx), just needed a good swab of alcohol and prime it. It doesn't taste of anything, just like clear water. So much better and relieves my nasal passage. When I tried asking her for a letter for physio due to recurrent ankle sprain, she went, "You stupid idiot! Why didn't you come and see my sooner?!" Well, you answered your own question. A guy came in second before me and went for the elder MO. She didn't close the door, but talked so loudly about his condition that I winced in shame. Ohhh, not again. Poor fellow. This time, I truly, swore I would never step foot there ever again, not til they change their attitudes.
Then, our old friend is back from her long MC. (Hello~~~) Oh dear, the girl before her had made a mess of things that when most of the patients called, we could only go, "I beg your pardon? I had no idea what's going on. Could you please explain to me?"  Then the patient had to go from A to Z about what happened on that day etc etc. The poor girl tried salvaging the mess, but if you haven't done your part, how could we help you? My friend and I were standing by outside, in case she needs our help, and she did not call for us. So we assumed everything is okay. Oh the disaster. The girl then said to me, "Remember the time when it happened to you?" I was a little blur so she prodded me on. "The admission that you did for Dr So-and-So?" Ohhh, I remember. I had prepared my side together with the patient and brought everything over to the admission side, with a note that says PLEASE CALL PATIENT IF ANYTHING ELSE NEEDS TO BE DONE, TQ :) The admission people chucked it somewhere and on the day itself, the patient called and admission said they did not receive anything.
!!!!!!
They yelled at me for not handing anything over. I defended myself, saying I remember I sent the folder clearly with everything filled in by the doctor because I was nearly on my knees going, "Doctor, doctor, doctor, PLEASE fill up the forms. PLEASEEEEEE" And the doctor did it and I stapled everything neatly together. So my friend went over to their side, and lo and behold, there it was. And the worst part was they had pestered the doctor to write another insurance form. So my friend shoved the two papers to them and said, "So my friend did prepared the form. So what are you going to do about it? Send the patient for admission twice?" So they had to admit defeat. Whew, close call. But for this girl, not so lucky. She said, "I'm sorry." Full stop. My friend blasted her by saying, "Don't tell me sorry. The patient got to go for an operation, and she's a professor!!! And she knows you, and she's well-educated!!!! And our doctor is not happy!" Ohhhh, I don't want to be here when the drama breaks.
Then the second girl who works in there said the girl asked her, of all things, where do you put the consent form. For crying out-, the girl was so pissed that she got up, went out and blasted me and my friend, even though we were not the one who did the assignment. Why are getting blasted for no reason??? :(
Frustrated, I told the girl, "You should do what my doctor did."

New girl : Doctor, the patient had to go for MRI. Does she come back to the clinic or go back home?
Doctor : (Without looking at girl and poker-faced, all serious and strict) The patient is going to do the MRI, then go back to your house. And then I will go there and you will follow me.

The girl, upset, called me by extension. "Senior!!!!!!" I was like, "What? What's going on?"
"Your boss!!!!"
"What did he do now?"  
"He- He- (recalled the whole MRI conversation above)!!!! OMG, what should I do?!!!!"
"What? He did?! Calm down, calm down, he's just joking. Don't take him too seriously."
I pretty much became sarcastic cause of him. Hehehehe. When I asked him few days later, he said, "That's what she get for asking dumb question."
Note to self : DO NOT EVER ASK DOCTOR FUNNY QUESTIONS. You'll end up getting sarcastic remarks in answer.

Unreasonable People

26th February (Friday) - People often say T.G.I.F., but for my case, it's never a good thing when it's Friday. It drives me nuts half of the time. And today especially, it's the worst.
Around 9, we got a patient whose PEG tube is needed to be checked by our doctor, okay, we pushed the patient in, knowing our doctor will come in after he sees his patients. The family, two daughters plus a maid, carried a lot of baggage with them. The moment we brought them into the room, the two daughters demanded my friends and I to remove the dressing. We can't, because the doctor isn't here yet, but busy with his clinic. If we were to remove the dressing, and it takes an hour for the doctor to arrive, it wouldn't be clean.When we explained that to the daughters, they gave us really nasty looks. When you had dealt to many people with these kind of attitudes, you kinda developed a sort of thick skin against patients.
The minutes ticked by rapidly with no pause, and our doctor still haven't arrived yet. The doctor finally came after an hour or so, and he asked us, "Why didn't you all open the dressing yet?" Actually, we were already on standby with our gloves and everything, but the two daughters had to snobbishly go, "We asked them to, but they refused." Well, if that is how you put it... At least the doctor didn't say anything, he just let us get on with our work. After the dressing was revealed, the daughters went on and on about the wound. We got nothing against that, but it's more like they kept thinking they're smarter than the doctor, cause they keep asking really weird questions and kept giving that I'm-such-a-know-it-all  patient so you can't fool me attitude. Our doctor kept a cool expression, but his voice was all firm, going, "I will say it again for the third time, if you do not let me remove the tube, your mother isn't going to get any better. Do you understand?" The three of them bicker back and forth til our next doctor came in. He assessed the lady's situation and tried to loosen the tube, but with no success. In the end, they both agreed to admit the lady, after much negotiation. I took a swab sample from the tube site as per doctor's order, then cleaned around the area. Sounds okay. I wanted to bring the patient out for our next patient, but the daughters said, "We needed to feed her." So we went okay, but after feeding, they wouldn't leave, saying that we must not disturb her cause she's tired.
!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Two hours passed, and the family refused to come out, seriously, they all sat in the room with tea and snacks, locking the door and treating our room like a hotel suite. We can't provoke them, all we could do was wait and hope for an opening. And it came. One of our doctors wanted to use that room, so we told the patient that we are sorry, but our patient needed the room. Unhappy, the family packed everything and murmured under their breath as they walked out. Geez....
Then there was an incident that involved a section of a partition falling on a patient. It was just unlucky. A young patient who was groggy clung to it for support, and accidentally shoved it onto another patient who had just came out from sedation. The poor patient got hit on the head and shoulder from the fallen partition. Naturally, all of us ran to the patient, where we offered our treatment room, but because the patient was from Endoscopy, the girls took her back in to rest. Not even ten minutes later, I heard shouting from around the corner. All of us took a quick peak and saw a lady yelling. Oh, I know that lady. She's the patient's friend, she was sitting next to her when it all happened. She was yelling about getting the cashier girl to pay for her friend's medical bill, claiming that she suffered from concussion. The poor cashier girl suffered the wrath, even though it was just pure unluckiness, to the point where the managers, customer services and building and service people came running to calm the lady down. All of us felt sorry for the girl, because she gotten blamed for something that was out of her hands.  
In the end, they must've offered some sort of compensation because the lady was fuming, but not so much in the end. Super dotty, but we couldn't say anything because we weren't involved. Don't get yourself into trouble for nothing.
On the bright side, we got treated for Subway. Yay, thanks, Y*.

* Name is kept confidential to respect privacy

Stung Once, Twice Bitten, Thrice-

24th February - Yesterday we were all alright with dressings, but today is a market. Everyone keeps on coming, nobody bothers taking queue numbers, nobody bothers sitting, nobody made an appointment, they just kept on coming in like an overflown dam. There were some patients whom are really nasty, the types that shout here and there. Ugh... Of all days... I was right about dancing up and down that today's my half day, but I'm guilty for leaving my friend alone, but she said, "It's okay, just go back home. If I need help, I'll let you know as soon as possible."
All of our doctors are fighting for the treatment rooms, ohhhh, dang it. And one of our doctors got two PRPs and is hogging the room. And one doctor, poor doctor, he's always in a hurry and have no room for his injection. His poor patient ended up in the clinic for a long time, and because I just needed to apply one copper sulphate, my friend took over just as he said, "You're free?" And I answered, "Just." And he said, "Okay, get me a dressing set, local anesthesia, shincort and iodine." Well, my friend did say it's just a normal injection, so I grabbed what's needed, a pair of gloves for precaution and run into his room where the patient is waiting. He was looking up down for his gloves, and I said, "Here, I got these as spares." Whew, he took it and I start preparing the equipment on his table. I didn't had a choice, there's no trolley, and his counter surface is the only place where it's clear. So I got him all his stuff and he jab...at TWO places. Oh Mother of God, please don't let him explode. Well, he didn't. He let me place the gauze there while I run like crazy for a second plaster. Thank God, thank God he wasn't fuming, he just tossed the needle and syringe into my kidney dish and said, "Watch your hands. I put the needle in there." The moment I stepped out, he started shouting at the clinic girl about why there's so many patients without appointments. Uh-oh. I hightail it out of there, refusing to get involved in the drama.
Everybody's sick too. Poor them. The only ones who are not sick were us Three Musketeers and a few clinic girls. Well, the weather is awful, and working in a hospital is a place where you'll most likely get sick, hence why we need annual medical checkups plus good immune system. If you think that's bad, many patients with masks are also piling in. My doctor didn't wear his mask, but he still had sore throat. Poor doctor. I didn't had time to see him cause I was super busy, and for the love of God, both legs of mine are really in pain now. Thank goodness for Voltaren gel, but if this keeps going on, I'm going to have to see him for prescriptions of Acustop plasters. Please no more X-Rays, @.@
I just about had it with a doctor. For goodness sake, he's still going on about the cotton balls. Geez, it's not just our hospital, it's worldwide. Everyone stopped using those fuzzy cotton balls because it sticks onto patient's wounds, and it hurts. Don't believe me, try it. I had seen patients screaming like hell when we pulled those fuzzy cotton from their wound. Outside pharmacy still sell them, so why not try there? Knowing that he had lost the battle, he started taking out all of his stress on me. Okay, enough is enough. From the first time I solo-ed with him, he kept saying I'm slow, no matter how much I prepare smoothly, it's always I'M SLOW. Once upon a time, I might have broken down and refused to assist him, but you know what? Sod it. I'll assist you in your cases and do it right, but not for you, for the patient. Say whatever you want, I'm tired of arguing with people who always think they're right.
This pretty much sums up today.

Haunted by Past

22th February (Monday) - You think, that today being Chap Goh Mei will be a happy day. But oh no, this is MY life we're talking about, and it's anything but normal.
Things started off innocently enough, then there's an incident on Saturday, yes, I did not manage to post it up back then cause I was beaned. I was returning the appointment book to the respective department when the two senior girls asked whether I'm happy working in an outpatient department. Is that a trick question? "Of course I do, the place here is wonderful, I get to meet doctors, some really nice ones, and I have wonderful supportive friends who had helped me." Then, comes the bombshell.
"Do you want to go back to your old department?"
... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...  
... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...
... ... ... ... ... ... ...
... ... ... ... ... ...
... ... ... ... ...
... ... ... ...
... ... ...
... ...
...
"Are you okay? Your face is really white, like someone had sucked out all your blood..."
I swear, my heart seemed to have dropped all the way into my stomach.
Go...back...there?
"We're not forcing you or anything, but it's just that there were some...incidents going on, that's why we are asking you whether you want to go back there."
Oh... Going back to the place where I worked at means staying with one doctor, and handling the few little cases, but is it worth it? I suffered depression from there, attempted self-harm and self-loathing, and very nearly gave up on being a nurse. I was shifted from here and there, absolutely lost til I went to the place where I am now. Where the people there had brought me back on track, the doctors, especially a few, supported me. My friends at that department, supported each other, got each other's back, like that song :

Our paths, they did cross,
Though I cannot say just why,
We met, we laughed, we held on fast,
And then we say goodbye.
And who'll hear the echoes of stories never told?
Let them ring out till they unfold.

Even when we were busy, get yelled at by rude patients, we still stick together. I dubbed us the Three Musketeers since there are three of us (nurses, I mean), which they accepted as an endearing term. And to be really frank, even if I were to go back, what can I achieve? I know my condition, I got nothing against the people, but it's more like the environment is not right for me. I can try, and try til I break, but I'll never be able to fit in there. Yes, it's a small place that focuses only on certain procedures, but I'll be miserable. I won't be able to be with my friends and my doctors. I'm not willing to give it all up. My department is big, true, with all sorts of doctors to handle, and all sorts of funny procedures, but I was happy. Truly happy to find a place where I belonged. They knew that I wrote novels as a second job and they were proud of me, even giving me inputs on some ideas. I had to go for my psychiatrist's appointment when the time comes, and they were accepting of me, instead of shunning me as though I am a pariah. Especially the surgeon whom I assisted, he had seen me going for my appointment and he had been supportive, always telling me not to stress, not to get upset, but to let him know if I'm having difficulty. If I had been there, I would've never met him, or any other doctors, of all types.  
When I got back after a long while, they asked me where had I been. Never one to hide anything from them, I told them the issue. They were actually outraged, for me. "Who do they think they are? When she was depressed, they had to throw her out. Now that we had mold her back to normal,. they think they can just waltz in and take her back just because of their incidents?" I nearly burst into tears, because they had accepted me as part of them from the time I joined in, even when there were rumors of me going around, about how I am insane. Outraged that they said if they dared to come, they will set the few doctors that I am closed with on them. I assured them that they didn't have to do that, because I had politely told the senior girls that I refused the offer, not that I still hold hatred against my old department, but because there are just some places where I just don't belong to, no matter how much I tried. Like that old saying that goes: If the shoes fits, something like that, I really can't remember how it goes.
I learned a really weird procedure today.

 Nope, you did not read it wrong. It does read Buddy Splint. God knows, the doctor yelled at me because of the cotton balls. He wanted the old ones, the fuzzy kind, not the gauze type. No matter how much I told him that we've been using it from last year and most of our doctors love it, he was like, "Get me the freaking cotton balls NOW!!!" Fortunately, my patient was a CI for the hospital and she said, "Doctor, there really is no more of those kinds." And he kept looking at me as though it's my fault. Ahhhhh, please don't eat me. In the end, he shoved the cotton balls into my hand, fixed the splint, and walked off. Whew. The CI confirmed with me that there's no more of those cotton balls and I apologized non-stop, and said perhaps outside are still selling the old types, which she thanked me and assured to splint her toes.
I asked my friend why is it called a buddy splint, and she showed me by putting two fingers together, side by side. "Two together, right? BFF, That's why they are buddies."
Oh.... OH....
I drew the toes together like she mentioned. And yes, you can apply it for your toes and fingers, as long as you have a pair.
Over and out. With more to come.