Confessions

9th December (Wednesday) - Whenever people feel down, we tend to do something to make us feel better. I once read an article about a company CEO who confessed that whenever he's feeling low, he takes out his collection of antique wooden soldiers and played with them as though he's a kid again. I got a friend who folds a hundred stars and throw them into a jar, to be emptied later, which she says carries the bad things, hence the throwing part. I also got a friend who enjoys watching Tom and Jerry for laughs.
For me, it's reading children books. I still have my old Enid Blyton collection with me. First editions with cream paper that you can't get anymore. I had them for more than 10 years, and they're still in good condition, just old with age. My dad had once tried to donate them and I nearly blew a coronary. For one thing, it's a collection that I spent so hard to collect them all. Second, whenever I feel down, I just randomly grab any of the titles and started reading. You'll be very surprised how effective it is. The books hold many memories. It was what motivated me to start reading. J.K. Rowling's Harry Potter came second because those days, to get a Harry Potter book is too expensive. One would cost MYR 100++. Enid Blyton costs MYR 9.99, and that time, my dad wasn't keen on spending over hundred for a 200 page book. It was only when I became a total bookworm that he finally got me my first ever Harry Potter paperback, Goblet of Fire. It was the book that I brought with me everyday in my little bag, at school, in the supermarket, in the cafe, everywhere. I couldn't bear to bring my Enid Blyton because I don't want people snatching it from me when I'm reading. Those days, Harry Potter is well known, but no one was going to snatch it from me because most people said that Harry Potter was associated to sorcery and witchcraft. It was also because of these two I was inspired to write a story of my own.
Believe it or not, my first ever story was a fanfiction. No, I did not publish it on fanfiction.com, I was a technophobe at that time and had no Internet access (Unless I go to my friend's house). The fanfiction is someday what will become a story that I had finally self-published (Check out the Books Written By Me section). And the characters: A mixture of Naruto and Final Fantasy. Throughout the years, the personality of the characters had faithfully stayed the same until I finally swapped the characters with my own original characters. I still have the original story, written in pencil, single lined exercise books and those little square books that you use for Mathematics. Although the pencil had faded a little but it's still legible to be read. And there were tons of illustrations, again in pencil. God knows whether my drawing had improved or not.
I'm a chicken, in fact. I really, really dislike horror stories. Not Goosebumps, I adore Goosebumps, the horror is tame enough, but really scary ones like Saw, Scream, Child's Play, the really, really scary ones that often had people getting killed in the most gruesome way and that gives you nightmares. I still can't get over that fear. But my first ever debut was (surprise, surprise) a horror novel. Personally, I don't even think of it as a horror novel. It's basically an action, adventure comedy with demons and the supernatural thrown into the mix (Aha, I think all of you know what I'm talking about ;D) But it got stumped into horror because of the demons. Before it was self-published, I used to post it up on another blogspot as a free reading material. The story stays largely the same, with a few edits and some bad grammars. But feel free to check it out if you have the time.
In a way, looking back, it has been a long journey. I got two books in a print-on-demand sites and I got a job that I enjoy doing, even though people sometimes gives me funny looks when I mention my profession. Well, I guess it's because nursing is still not as popular as doctors, but hopefully with everything advancing forward, the profession will have a chance to shine.
With year end coming soon, there are tons of things that I still need to do on my mental checklist. But for now I'm taking things slow, baby steps, as my psychiatrist tells me. It's just a shame that I wasn't able to fulfill my third book deadline goal, but I will definitely, definitely (zettai ni) finish it when the time is right. Lloyd will never forgive me if I make his story one hell of a rollercoaster ride.
And a big Happy Birthday to my sister. May your wishes be granted.

*As a little bonus for laughs, check out this Hunger Game spoof. It's hilarious, trust me, whenever you're feeling down, just watch it. It's guaranteed to put a smile on your face.

As you can see, my book is already old, but still in okay condition.

My Enid Blyton collection. Part of it. There are more, but they are all stacked behind.