Before Mentality Breakdown

7th February (Saturday) - Morning shift and urgh, I'm stiff from drowsiness. God knows, prof say I looked tense lately. He got that right. So many things had happened ever since I'm here. With the whole anti thing going on, I feel near the verge of tears and going to a mental breakdown. Prof was really worried how my face looked tense, not to mention my appetite is low and according to some of them, my eyes looked hollow. Well, wouldn't you if the whole world is against you?
The thing that kept me going for today are the profs and the patients. Profs mainly because they teach me many things, and they're not like some doctors I encountered where they throw the folders in your face, they're nice people, willing to teach you and make an effort to be on good terms with you, as long as their patients are safe, doing well and keep an eye out for any abnormalities like dropping or rocketing sky high blood pressure and spike high fever.
Patients, well, as mentioned, there are the good and bad patients. But most patients I encountered so far are nice people, just one or two who are really the mean fussy types that makes your life miserable, but most of the patients are okay patients. Usually I get to talk to them and I try not to talk facts with them, because as prof said, "Talking facts with patients and colleagues are so boring, time will go by very slow if you don't talk a lot." Of course you should always make your patients relaxed and calm, but when it is time to work with meds and op, that's the time I'll get serious. Most of the time though, I do what you call an informal way of establishing rapport, like how he does it with me. Simple things like how are you, have you eaten your meal yet makes patients really happy. It's just sad that the trend of nursing is really different now, according to some of my patients who were once nurses themselves.
Some patients knew me well enough already, so most of them were concern about that state I'm in, usually appetite since most of them said I looked as though I'm starving most of the time. No, no, it's just that once I never eat, I start getting hypoglycemic attacks, with chills, sweating, dizziness and fatigue. Some offered me their uneaten breakfast but I'm a porridge and bread and waffle person, so usually I just pass it to the other girls to eat it, since I have a small appetite.
Well, not much ot say here, besides it's a matter of going crazy or not from the mental break.

Since Chinese New Year is around the corner, all the profs are now like the patients, asking me for ang pows. I'm not married which means no ang pows to give. Heeheehee. On the bright side, look at this gargantuan sized pamelo. We haven't eaten half of the first one yet. And believe me, it's huge and heavy, cause I was the one who carried it from the patient who gave us.