Funny Moments I

20th August (Thursday) - Sorry for being on a long hiatus. Currently work is a little hectic due to lack of manpower, which means all of us have to work doubly, triple hard to keep our positions. And whatever free time I had after work, I channel it into my writing and drawing.
People often laugh at me for being in the outpatient department, but you'll be surprised how many dramas I had encountered for the past few months. I'll list out whatever I could remember. (Certain conversations are edited due to privacy and confidentiality.)

1. During dressing

Patient : Nurse, could you please go slow?
Me : Okay. How slow do you want?
Patient : Pain free as possible.
Me : Sir, you do know there will be a little pain.
Patient : Ahhhh, nurse, could you do me a favour and knock me out with those sedation stuff that they use on TVs?
Me : Sir, if I do that you'll most likely end up in Operating Theatre. And we're not allowed to administer them.
Patient : Oh...
Me : Please relax. There's nothing to worry about. I'll go extra slow if that's what you want...
Patient : Okay. AHHHHH. AHHHHH. OWWWW.
Me : Sir, sir, there's nothing much I need to do. Your wound is really clean, just a little blood, but no pus and dead skin. And I'm not pressing hard like you requested. I'm just using soak gauze to absorb the blood, see?
Patient : But it's painful...
Me : Of course it's a little painful, I'm using salt water. How did you get your injury anyway? Did you get a blister?
Patient : It was an infected wart.
Me : Oh... You know, when I used to practice karate, I had a lot of blisters too.
Patient : Oh my. Really?
Me : Uh huh.
Patient : Did you go for surgery?
Me : Ehhh, no. All I had to do was poke the water out and let the blister heal.
Patient : Did it hurt?
Me : Well, if you peel the skin, then yes. But somehow I feel as though I was walking on mushrooms.
Patient : Yeah, mushrooms. :D
Me : Okay, your gauze are all fixed and I tightened the bandage a little so that you don't have to worry about it coming loose. Remember not to get it wet when you shower.
Patient : Thank you. And... mushrooms.
Me : ^^

2. During STO

Patient : Hello, leng lui. (Pretty girl in Cantonese)
Me : Um, hello.
Patient : You Vietnam?
Me : Me, no.
Patient : China?
Me : No.
Patient : Singapore? Japan? Korea? Brunei?
Me : Nooooo.
Patient : Then what are you?
Me : Malaysian.
Patient : You're joking.
Me : No, I'm not. I'm a pure Malaysian.
Patient : You don't look Malaysian, girl.
Me : I get that a lot. (You will be surprised how many times I get asked this question over and over again)
Patient : So what are you going to do for me, leng lui?
Me : Remove your stitches, of course.
Patient : Can't I keep the stitches on?
Me : Sir, there's a risk of infection if you keep them on too long, and it's non-absorbable.
Patient : Please don't let it be painful.
Me : Don't worry sir, it'll be quick.

*Doctor came in, checked his post-stitches wound, and left*

Patient : That's it?
Me : Uh huh. That's it.
Patient : Are you married?
Me : Nooooo.
Patient : Boyfriend?
Me : Still single.
Patient : A pretty girl like you should get a doctor. They just come and go and money goes into their pocket, just like that.
Me : Sir, all the doctors here are old, and taken.
Patient : Can't be, girl. I met some young ones when I was in the ward. I'll pray that you find a nice doctor who'll appreciate you.
Me ; Uh, sir, I don't think I'll end up with a doctor.
Patient : Want me to find one handsome young one for you?
Me : Ummm, no thanks.

3. Taking care of a clinic

Patient came in late, doctor was not in his clinic.

Me : May I help you?
Patient : Yes, I got an appointment with Dr So-and-So.
Me : You do realize that you're an hour and forty five minutes late right?
Patient : No, I don't know.
Colleague : Had you done your blood test?
Patient : What blood test?
Colleague : The blood test that you need to do before seeing Dr So-and-So.
Patient : Don't know.
Colleague : *shoots me a look to stay quiet* When you discharge from the ward, did they give you a form for blood test on arrival?
Patient : Don't know.
Me : Which ward were you in, miss?
Patient : Don't know.
Colleague : *veins tightening* Okay, well, here's the form, now go and do the blood test at the lab. Hurry.
Patient : Okay.

After she had left and came back from the lab...

Colleague : Kiddo, call Dr So-and-So.
Me : Oh man, oh man, he's going to shoot us.
Colleague : You have to call him, otherwise he'll run off to Hospital A and then he'll go ballistic. Besides, it's the patient who came late.
Me : Ahhhhh.
Colleague : Come on, kiddo. Call him.
Me ; Okay, what's his phone number?
Colleague : Just call the operator and they'll connect you to his phone. Don't worry. Just listen to what I say. Hello, Dr, sorry to disturb you. Calling from your clinic, the patient just came and done her blood test. I'll let you know once the results are ready. Got it?
Me : Okay. Here goes. *After muttering our prayers, I dial the operator and got connected*

Me : H-Hello? Dr So-and-So?
Doctor : Yes? Yes? What is it?!
Me : Sorry to disturb you. Calling from your clinic, you got one more patient. Miss So-and-So, just came and just done her blood test-
Doctor : WHAT THE HELL?!!!!! WHY DID SHE COME SO LATE?!!! (At this point, I flinched away from the phone to let him yell out his anger. Once he had cooled down, I put the phone back to my ear) Alright, alright, I'll see her.
Me : I'll let you know once the results are ready.
Doctor : Fine! Fine! Goodbye!
Me : Thank you, doctor, goodbye.
Colleague : What did he say?
Me : What the hell...
Colleague : It could've been worst.
Me ; At least he isn't really shouting at me.
Colleague : True...

4. During registration...

Me : Good morning, sir. Which doctor are you looking for?
Patient : No idea. I just came for a scope
Me : Oh, you're under Doctor So-and-So. He's currently on leave.
Patient : I know.
Me : Did he refer you to any doctor?
Patient : No idea.
Me : Doctor A?
Patient : No idea.
Me : Doctor B?
Patient : No idea.
Me : Doctor C?
Patient : No idea.
Me ; *sighs* I'll go and check with the PAs. Have a seat, sir. I'll be back to attend to you shortly.

After running one round throughout the entire clinic...

Me : Sir, I can give you Doctor A, he can do the scope for you. Is it okay?
Patient : Sure.

After register...

Patient : Miss, I got this letter with me in my pocket. Do you want it?
Me : .......... (You made me run one big circle and all this time you have the referral letter in your POCKET???) Sure. *opens the letter and feel like slamming my head on the table, Doctor A name is written in bold on the top* (FOR GOD'S SAKE) Oh, good thing I registered you under Doctor A cause your doctor gave you his name.
Patient : Oh...
Me : *sighs* Okay, take this to the clinic and you're all set. Thank you.

After he had left...

Colleague : Kiddo, that guy is really blur.
Me : Uh huh. Can't believe I ran one big round and all this time he got the letter with him.
Colleague :*jokingly* Next time, ask him if he remember to wear his pants.
Me : Huh? Why?
Colleague : If he can't remember anything, then he wouldn't remember to wear his pants.
Me : Oh. OH....
Colleague : You get my joke?
Me : Yep, yep. I get it. *mutters* Pants...

That's all for now.

August A-Coming

1st August (Saturday) - Well you look at that. In just a blink of an eye and we're already in August. It has nearly been a month that I'm posted in ground floor and I've grown so much since then. True my aesthetic training doesn't help out much with dressings and sutures, but when it comes to scars, and the patient couldn't clear it with the scar cream, then all that is left is me suggesting to them to go to the plastic surgeon.
Of course with Bon Odori coming next month, I am now trying to go on a diet to reduce my waist line. I'm telling you, no matter what I do, hula hoops, push ups, sit ups, using the gym balls for stretching, zumba, abdomen crunches, going on a carb-free diet, none is helping. Urgh, waist line toning is the toughest. Many of my male friends got their abs through protein shakes, lean meats and such. I don't eat beef, venison, lamb and such, so I have to resort to oats, high fibre and protein diet, which includes replacing my meals with oats, chlorophyll and lemon water. Uh-huh, no joke. Ever since I joined the aesthetic girls, they taught me that besides exercising, diet is also very important. And I'm determined to control my stubborn waistline.
A doctor shared with me that when he was a kid, he had never wanted to sleep, preferring to stay up late at night. Confession : I used to too, especially reading. I'm a bookworm, through and through. Give me a book and I'll be a happy person. Most of my salary are spent on books. But now that I'm a full-fledged working adult, I now realize the importance of sleep. No sleep = no fuel = no mood = unable to work happy. I guess my friend was right, about how when we were once young we tend to do silly things.
With the senior staffs busy dealing with their errands, I now have to shoulder the office tasks, such as registering patients, filing in folders, faxing prescriptions, fixing the photocopier if it jams, topping up our sticker labels etc etc. I'm a little on the slow side, but I was able to do it after a week worth of practice.
And as for my story, it's still going on, full speed ahead. Stay tuned for more posts or updates from me. And as I finished writing this post, it's already past midnight. Hence it's officially 2nd August. Happy birthday to me, going a year older and hopefully a year wiser.