R&R

"Why are you even a nurse? You're not cut out to be one."

"Why don't you just be a writer since you're so good at writing?"

"Perhaps you should work in a magazine seeing as how you're so worthless in your job and all."

"Can't you work faster?! God, patients can't wait!"

"How did you even become a nurse anyway? Not through passion I guess."

8th April (Wednesday) - Awful awful awful. The two sessions of psychology therapy determined me that I have to see a psychiatrist. Yep, a real psychiatrist, because according to the report, I was depressed. Yes, depressed. Sigh. the above statements that you see above are what people commented about me. I wonder about that too sometime. But one thing I'll admit with what pride I have left, I got through those 3 years of flaming hell with determination and support from my tutors, whom I might add, were super supportive and encouraging, asking me not to give up and balance my nursing and writing. That's how I got my license in the end. Not through luck, but by willpower, sheer determination and life blood. Like it or not, I came out as a nurse, and that's what I'll be.
Regarding about my writing, yes, my dream is to be a writer, like the amazing authors like J.K. Rowling, L.J. Smith, Anthony Horowitz, Meg Cabot, Sophie Kinsella, Cornelia Funke, Benedict Jacka and many others whom had inspired me in writing. But let me point out, all these amazing authors weren't originally authors at first. J.K. Rowling took up teaching, Anthony Horowitz did screenwriting for media and such, Meg Cabot used to be an illustrator and Sophie Kinsella used to be a financial journalist. Can't it be the same for me? Doing nursing as my main job and then my writing after work? No, apparently there were some people asking me to abandon my nursing job or work in a MAGAZINE. Sorry to say, not many of us are lucky stars in the world of writing, and majority writers actually took up other odd jobs before converting to full time writing.
So I met the psychiatrist with my dad (Well, my whole family had knew about my whole mental health now since I spilled the beans after Cheng Meng), and after much discussion with the psychiatrist, my dad, and my boss and the management, everyone agreed that I needed some time off. So the psychiatrist gave me a week MC to "REST, RELAX, AND DON'T THINK OF WORK" as he put it. He even asked my dad to get me a pet to occupy my mind, and my dad finally, after much insistence, agreed to get a puppy for me to occupy my mind with instead of me going around talking to my mom's bonsai plants.
I do have to take my meds as well, nothing serious, just anti-depressants and sleeping pills, and all the while being at home, reading, writing, drawing, listening to my old records of Michael Jackson and Gorillaz and such, something to keep me occupied as the psychiatrist kept saying to me. It's already Wednesday since he last gave me my break on Monday, and I think slowly, I'm feeling relaxed and calmer than last time.