One Week Past

23rd April (Thursday) - One week, that's how much the time has flew. I picked up on so much things since then but I'm still learning. I'm taking things slow, like how the doctor and psychologists advised me. Baby steps. I'm not ready to rush into things yet, and everyone were right. By focusing on my daily routine assignment, I'm able to make small, but slow steady progress. I managed to remember all the products prices, as evidenced by some of the comments I received from the other girls. Well, I had good mentors who are guiding me and answering all of my endless questions.
Today was a little scary cause you see, I'm only okay, about so-so in chemical peeling, but for biopsies and lasers, well, I'm not confident enough yet, but no one is pushing me on the choo choo express. It's just that today is rather rushed. With 5 cases and only 3 of us on duty, we had to run around, and all of them are different varieties. For some reason, the whole hospital is full that they ended up shoving to our side as well. Despite I haven't assisted much in cases, just merely an observant, I'm also shoved to the front lines as per doctor's request. I can't do anything, patients were waiting, and my mentors are busy. One handling paperworks, one handling another doctor. So just left me. Armed with my wits, I tried to keep an open mind, and it paid off. By listening to the doctor's orders and keeping all of my senses open, I'm able to handle her smoothly instead of shaking like a leaf.  In a way, I felt good, cause at last, I'm able to be useful, despite trying to market products and such. I could probably list out all the things that I had learnt so far but I don't want to bore people to tears with facts. But let's just say I picked up a lot of really awesome tips from colleagues and doctors alike. Maybe, just maybe I found a place where I can truly belong.
This is not like back in my previous experience where things can be shared easily. Where I am currently at is rather slow paced, but it's also a rather fun place because it's relaxing, and while you can pick up things slow, you need to put in a 120% effort to remember all the things you had done and be on constant alert, kinda like a bodyguard. Crime had been increasing rapidly at my workplace area to the point where it is labeled a black spot, which means constant awareness. I would love to share the many things I had learnt but right now, I'm really beat. Exhausted but satisfied. And now I would just like to say, See you again, and expect more updates whenever I'm free to pour out my feelings... (I love that song...)  

Clean Slate

Soft hues of sapphire from the orient,

collecting gently, marked the circles now

of skies serene from height to horizon.

And this sight - once I left the morbid air,

which weighed so heavy on my eyes and heart - 

began afresh to bring my eyes delight.

Canto 1, Purgatorio 

19th April (Sunday) - Hello folks. After 10 days of MC, I'm back, recharged, re-energized and ready to start a brand new day of work in a brand new department for the past three days. I will admit, it's a little scary to be at a new environment, because it's a whole new thing, to start fresh, and the scariest part was... I given up my old department to work at a beauty centre, where beauty is the highest priority. I have no clue how to use cleanser, toner, moisturiser and stuff. This is all Becky Bloomwood's field, I'm afraid, but it's also thanks to Shopaholic that I roughly know what are the products for. Let's just say I'm not exactly a girly sort of person, as in I never really bother with make up because my skin is highly sensitive to chemical products. But that's the least of my worries because all I need to make sure is I do my job well and make some profit aka marketing. Mmm, okay.
The therapy sessions has been helping out as well. I don't find myself feeling claustrophobic much whenever I'm working now, and things don't seem to hit me in the wrong way as before. And the one thing I love about my new job was that I get to read. Oh yes, read. Fashion and cosmetic magazines to keep up to date of the latest cosmetic surgeries and beauty treatments. Seeing as how a magazine had never passed by me before, I had a lot of catching up to do.
The Sister told me to take things slow so I did. And that's how I find myself being at peace. She gave me a small list of things to do and I have to hand in a small report each day. Suddenly, I find myself being able to slowly pick things up along the way, and I had new colleagues who are wonderfully supportive and are willing to put up with my pestering. Treatments are usually the main thing in our department because everyone wants beauty. Who doesn't? Not just for the ladies but for the men as well. Who doesn't want to maintain their youthful appearance?
Many of the patients, as I was informed, are regular patients who comes for treatments. Of course. To maintain beauty means you have to be willing to spend high costs for treatments and the products. As the doctor put it bluntly to me, "Anything that is cheap is absolute rubbish." Well, she has a point. For the sake of saving twenty to thirty dollars, people are willing to buy cheap cosmetics products, and ended up paying more because of the damage done to their face. I guess that's what she meant, because sometimes things that comes in cheap doesn't necessarily means it's good. Who knows what chemical they have mixed in.
I would love to update more but so far things had been slow because of the GST implementation. But hopefully once things are fully settled I'll be able to post more. Until next time.  

R&R

"Why are you even a nurse? You're not cut out to be one."

"Why don't you just be a writer since you're so good at writing?"

"Perhaps you should work in a magazine seeing as how you're so worthless in your job and all."

"Can't you work faster?! God, patients can't wait!"

"How did you even become a nurse anyway? Not through passion I guess."

8th April (Wednesday) - Awful awful awful. The two sessions of psychology therapy determined me that I have to see a psychiatrist. Yep, a real psychiatrist, because according to the report, I was depressed. Yes, depressed. Sigh. the above statements that you see above are what people commented about me. I wonder about that too sometime. But one thing I'll admit with what pride I have left, I got through those 3 years of flaming hell with determination and support from my tutors, whom I might add, were super supportive and encouraging, asking me not to give up and balance my nursing and writing. That's how I got my license in the end. Not through luck, but by willpower, sheer determination and life blood. Like it or not, I came out as a nurse, and that's what I'll be.
Regarding about my writing, yes, my dream is to be a writer, like the amazing authors like J.K. Rowling, L.J. Smith, Anthony Horowitz, Meg Cabot, Sophie Kinsella, Cornelia Funke, Benedict Jacka and many others whom had inspired me in writing. But let me point out, all these amazing authors weren't originally authors at first. J.K. Rowling took up teaching, Anthony Horowitz did screenwriting for media and such, Meg Cabot used to be an illustrator and Sophie Kinsella used to be a financial journalist. Can't it be the same for me? Doing nursing as my main job and then my writing after work? No, apparently there were some people asking me to abandon my nursing job or work in a MAGAZINE. Sorry to say, not many of us are lucky stars in the world of writing, and majority writers actually took up other odd jobs before converting to full time writing.
So I met the psychiatrist with my dad (Well, my whole family had knew about my whole mental health now since I spilled the beans after Cheng Meng), and after much discussion with the psychiatrist, my dad, and my boss and the management, everyone agreed that I needed some time off. So the psychiatrist gave me a week MC to "REST, RELAX, AND DON'T THINK OF WORK" as he put it. He even asked my dad to get me a pet to occupy my mind, and my dad finally, after much insistence, agreed to get a puppy for me to occupy my mind with instead of me going around talking to my mom's bonsai plants.
I do have to take my meds as well, nothing serious, just anti-depressants and sleeping pills, and all the while being at home, reading, writing, drawing, listening to my old records of Michael Jackson and Gorillaz and such, something to keep me occupied as the psychiatrist kept saying to me. It's already Wednesday since he last gave me my break on Monday, and I think slowly, I'm feeling relaxed and calmer than last time.