I willed myself to see what fit there was,
image to circle, how this all in-where'd.
But mine were wings that could not rise to that,
save that, with this, my mind, was stricken through
by sudden lightning bringing what it wished.
- Paradiso, Canto 33, Dante Alighieri
Nurse (verb) - Someone whose job is to look after people who are ill or injured, usually in a hospital.
(Longman Dictionary of Contemporary English, This Edition 2003, Seventh Impression 2003, Pearson Education Limited 1978, 2003)
17th November (Thursday) - I was an unlucky fool. Because no one remembered to assign someone to a doctor's clinic, I was forced to be the one to go inside. I loved assisting doctors, second to dressings. I used to be that way, assisting a doctor half day (usually in the mornings), then doing dressings in the noon. But I dreaded this clinic. I used to assist this place for around a month to cover the second person who will sometimes go on leaves. It's rather heavy, with an average of 40 to 60 patients a day, I didn't mind that, but what I dislike the most was the girl who takes care of that place. She was okay person to begin with, I thought, but once I started working with her, I really, really get sapped and drained, both physically and mentally once the clinic starts. Nobody had wanted to enter there because of the bad aura that emits from the place, myself included. But maybe I was a softie and too nice, when I reported to the girl who does the assignment and my head, the answer I get was not like the other girls. "I can't stand this place and the doctor, please shift me." "Okay, noted." Problem solved. When I quote back the same line they used, I don't get an okay. I get this. "You have no right to choose which doctor or clinic you get assigned to. Get back to work."
So I steeled myself to work at that place. The doctor is usually okay, but today, because of someone forgetting an important promise to assign a second girl to cover his other girl who is on leave, he took out his anger on me. "What is this nonsense?" "Where the hell are the folders?" "Why are you giving me half-finished work?" Usually, he doesn't talk to me, but today, he lashed out, as though he wants to eat me, figuratively.
Now, I've gotten a lot of verbal abuse, not just from doctors, but patients, colleagues and even managers alike, in short, just about everybody. Usually, the main girl will handle all the difficult parts, my role is basically support, attend to patients, bringing them to the doctor, and bringing them back to the main girl who will discharge them from the clinic. She's rather blackhearted, no, I'm not going to sugar coat this. She doesn't share her PC password with me, so when I got locked out, I needed her help to get back into the PC to key in appointments and check on patients' status. When I asked her for help, she yelled at me for being incompetent and useless and shoved me aside so that she could log in. Anything I do she shouted at me, calling me an imbecile on how I don't know how to handle my work.
Perhaps the most aggressive thing she had ever done to me was sneering at my job. Nurse, yes. But a nurse working in an outpatient department. "It's a stupid job, which just about anybody can do. A nurse should only be working in the ward, not at a stupid department like outpatient. "Stupid, huh? A nurse should be in the ward only. Then what do you call nurses who works in the operating theatres and the sterile unit? Nurse who works in specialises fields like aesthetics, wound care, research? A nurse's job is aplenty, a nurse can run a clinic, assist doctors, perform nursing procedures, do research, give health advice... She's implying that an outpatient nurse job is useless, because all we do is run the departments and clinics and attend when we are needed. But here's the thing. A patient does no go into the ward immediately. Oh no, before a patient gets admitted, whether it's for observation or surgery, a patient ALWAYS comes to consult the doctor in the outpatient clinic first. There they will discuss their options, and when it's really needed, to get admitted for care. Once the patient has undergone surgery or care in the hospital, they will come back for follow ups in the clinic. If they have dressings, we will do it according to the doctor's order. Daily, alternate, every three days, once weekly, it all depends. And when they're done, they are discharged officially, or... end up with bad luck and end up getting admitted again. And there are some procedures which can be done in outpatient side too. Instead of seeing just a few doctor for few minutes, You have to see them most of the time, and there's no escape, because you may end up passing by each other a lot in the corridor and end up working with them. Instead of seeing a limited amount of patients each day, you end up seeing a whole lot of people, not just the sickly types, but healthy ones too who came for their regular check ups or second opinion.
It's true that I ended up as an outpatient nurse, but I still get to practice my skills, hold onto my license, and write novels as a part time hobby. So, I'm more than just a nurse, in a way. And I learnt a lot in the outpatient side as well. I gotten to know many wonderful people, patients, doctors and colleagues alike, some I even got to be close to them like friends. As long as I love what am I doing, I'm happy that way. I didn't want to end up miserable and end up hating my job, so I took an alternative. And I never regret my decision.
